A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Dear Family, I’m Already Grieving the Holidays Without You

4 Minute Read

By Her View From Home

Family gathered at holiday table — Image via Jenny Rapson

Dear family,

It’s not even September yet, but with 2020 being kind of, umm, rough to put it mildly, everyone’s already got their pumpkin spice lattes and Halloween decorations up. Normally I don’t want to hurry the months away, but this year, I’m totally for it. I get it: I wanna skip to the good part, too.

The problem with that, though, is that we are moving ever closer to Thanksgiving at a rapid pace. And before you can say “cranberry sauce” it will be Christmas. As you know, the holidays are usually my absolute favorite time of the year. I may drive you crazy with my Christmas selfies and Thanksgiving hashtags but you know you love it, too!

But now, as I sit on the cusp of fall 2020, I’m already mourning the holidays to come.

Remember last year, when my little family of five and I got a preview of a solitary Christmas after my husband came down with Influenza A on December 22nd? We made the best of spending Christmas completely alone, without you all—without grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and cousins . . . but I’ll be honest: comparatively, it sucked.

I can only imagine that this year will, too.

RELATED: To My Friends Still Social Distancing

With COVID still running amok and the holidays being smack in the middle of what is likely going to be a cold and flu season to end them all, it is likely that this Thanksgiving and Christmas we will all be celebrating alone with just our immediate families—to protect each other. And the thought grieves me oh so very much.

You see, I don’t want to miss out any more anything. I. Am. OVER IT.

It’s been a year of missing out like no other. We’ve missed graduations, proms, family reunions, birthday parties, and HUGS. Oh my word, how many hundreds of hugs have we missed? It literally pains me to think about it.

I don’t want to give up more memories with you. I don’t want to give up cousin Emily’s INSANE Thanksgiving planning spreadsheet or seating chart. I don’t want to give up watching our little kids play hide and seek or our teenagers bond over the newest Marvel movies. I don’t want to sacrifice seeing my mom and dad open the presents that we adult children carefully collaborated on.

And dangit, I don’t even want to miss fighting over the last bit of Aunt Bethie’s sweet potato casserole. (Because I love the taste of sugary sweet potatoes AND the taste of victory!!)

So many of the “kids” in our families are young adults now. This year, if we aren’t together, we will likely be missing our last holidays with several of them before they marry or move away. And dangit, I don’t WANNA. I really, really don’t wanna.

RELATED: Missing This Time With Loved Ones Hurts

But I will. I’ll give it up.

Because, dear family of mine, missing one holiday season with you is worth it if it means we will all be well and healthy enough to come together, even some of us, for all the holidays to come. I will sacrifice Thanksgiving and Christmas 2020 in the hopes of being together for every year after.

I hope you know that you are everything to me. And that if we have our health, we have everything we need.

So while circumstances may keep us apart this year, it is my prayer that our sacrifices will bring us together in the next.

RELATED: In Times Like These, It’s OK To Cry

If on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day the only way I see you is on FaceTime or Zoom, I’ll be more than a little sad. I might let myself wallow in it a little. But if it means I get even one more day, month, or year with you, it will be worth it.

It’s gonna hurt, my dear ones.

But it will be worth it.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Her View From Home

Millions of mothers connected by love, friendship, family and faith. Join our growing community. 1,000+ writers strong. We pay too! Find more information on how you can become a writer on Her View From Home at https://herviewfromhome.com/contact-us/write-for-her//

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

In: Living, Marriage

Divorce often feels like the scarlet letter no one talks about. Some in our generation may call it “trendy”—particularly as women have become more independent and empowered—but whether it’s socially acceptable or not, it is still a label no woman enters marriage expecting to wear. Women are often self-sacrificing—sometimes to a fault. We give and give until our souls feel nearly drained. And in marriages marked by abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, inconsistency, or dishonesty, we still convince ourselves that if we just give a little more, love a little harder, try a little longer, something will change. Divorce is not...

Keep Reading

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

In: Living, Motherhood

Hannah Harper American Idol winner sings with her young son on her lap

By now, you’ve probably seen the posts flooding your feed: A young mom. Three little boys. A guitar strap embroidered with her children’s drawings. And a crown. When Hannah Harper won American Idol this week, moms everywhere erupted. And honestly? Same. There is something collective about watching a stay-at-home mom win on such a large stage. The celebrations have been pouring in. Moms, we can do it. She didn’t abandon her dreams. She went for it. And all of that is true, and all of that is worth celebrating. But I want to add something to the celebration. Not to...

Keep Reading

To Those Who Dreamed of Something Different on Mother’s Day

In: Living

Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days of the year for me. The truth is, I always wanted to be a mom. I’m not a mother. Not in the traditional sense. And while I usually stay quiet on days like this, today I want to speak for the ones who carry this ache quietly…without cards, without flowers, without answers. In college, I was the girl with pillows under her shirt, daydreaming about baby names and planning a future I never got to hold. I once bought a house and made a nursery for children who never came. I remember...

Keep Reading

In Your 30s the Stakes Feel Higher

In: Living

I’m in the years where I’m not old, but I’m no longer young. Some women my age are just announcing their first pregnancies, while others like me are navigating pre-teen and teenage years. The 30s hold a different kind of tension. The days move faster now. Not because little feet are toddling through the house, but because the calendar is always full. Afternoons are spent running kids to practices, sitting in parking lots, and juggling dinner between drop-offs and pick-ups. The conversations are deeper. The questions are bigger. The stakes feel higher. This season isn’t about sticky fingers and sleepless...

Keep Reading

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off—Give Yourself Permission To Take One

In: Living

I didn’t need a sick day. I needed a well day—and I didn’t realize how much until I finally took one. We’ve labeled our time off into neat, acceptable categories. Sick days are for fevers and doctor appointments. Personal days are reserved for emergencies and obligations. But what about the in-between days? When there’s no real diagnosable health issue and no major event or appointment that needs attendance. The days when there’s nothing technically wrong, but everything feels off. A day when you’re barely hanging on, but still showing up. That’s where the well day comes in. On behalf of...

Keep Reading

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

In: Living, Motherhood

It took me 39 years to like myself. I mean really, honestly look in the mirror and say, “You go, girl.” I understand the concept of progress, not perfection, but the idea of always working on myself became a tiring and unrelenting objective. Here I was shrinking that waist, smoothing my skin, studying hard, working way too late, and often burning the candle at both ends to yield results that were still less than the ideal. It’s all well and good to be a doer who sets reasonable and sometimes unreasonable goals, but throughout my teens and into my early...

Keep Reading

8 Truths for the Graduate Still Figuring It Out

In: Living

Teen girl sitting on grass looking at fountain

Dear Graduate, I know you’re feeling it all right now. Anticipation, trepidation, and then other times, you don’t know what to feel at all. I know because I once felt the same. I graduated from high school several years ago, and here’s what I want you to know: It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out. Sounds cliché, but it’s true. Whether you plan to attend college, take a gap year, get a job, or you don’t know yet what you want to do, it’s okay. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. It’s so easy to fall into the...

Keep Reading

It’s Never Too Late To Start Again

In: Living

From a young age, I knew what I wanted my future career to look like. I pursued a path in healthcare, determined to use my gift for compassion to help others. I loved it. Being a small part of someone’s life during vulnerable moments made me feel like I was truly living out God’s calling on my life. Until I had children of my own. The work I did was exhausting—physically, mentally, and emotionally. What I didn’t anticipate was how that exhaustion would grow once I had children waiting for me at the end of each day. I was giving...

Keep Reading

From a Mom Failed By the Medical System: Your Experience Matters

In: Living

I was pregnant with my first baby in 2023, and my pregnancy was “picture perfect,” or so I was told. I went to all of my appointments, and every time I was reassured that everything looked great. My weight gain was “normal,” my baby was measuring appropriately, and his heartbeat was strong. My blood pressure was always a little elevated, but no one seemed concerned. Everything was fine…until it wasn’t. Looking back, I knew deep down something wasn’t right when I gained 10 pounds between my May and June appointments. I brushed it off, blaming a recent trip to Texas...

Keep Reading

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

In: Friendship

Ever since Ashley Tisdale wrote about leaving her toxic mom group, I have noticed something shift among women my age, moms in our 40s who built friendships through school drop-offs, soccer sidelines, neighborhood walks, and birthday parties. Here is the thing….no one wants to be labeled the “mean girls mom group.” Recently, I was out to dinner with a friend when she shared something that stuck with me. A woman had quietly left their local moms’ group and later treated them as if they were exclusionary. The final straw? She had sent a group text at dinnertime and no one...

Keep Reading

The Most Important Word We Can Teach Our Kids To Say is "No"

Kids

The Most Important Word We Can Teach Our Kids To Say is "No"

Youth Sports Consumes Our Life, And We Wouldn't Have it Any Other Way

Kids

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

To Those Who Dreamed of Something Different on Mother’s Day

In Your 30s the Stakes Feel Higher

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off—Give Yourself Permission To Take One

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

8 Truths for the Graduate Still Figuring It Out

It’s Never Too Late To Start Again

From a Mom Failed By the Medical System: Your Experience Matters

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Dear Family, I’m Already Grieving the Holidays Without You

But now, as I sit on the cusp of fall 2020, I’m already mourning the holidays to come.

You see, I don’t want to miss out any more anything. I. Am. OVER IT.

I hope you know that you are everything to me. And that if we have our health, we have everything we need.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

No One Plans to Wear the “Scarlet Letter” of Divorce

Hannah Harper Is Every Mom with Babies in Her Arms and a Dream In Her Heart

To Those Who Dreamed of Something Different on Mother’s Day

In Your 30s the Stakes Feel Higher

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off—Give Yourself Permission To Take One

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

8 Truths for the Graduate Still Figuring It Out

It’s Never Too Late To Start Again

From a Mom Failed By the Medical System: Your Experience Matters

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like