The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

Dear 16-year-old self,

Please recognize this phase is only temporary.

The pimple you have on your nose that you think every kid at your high school sees from across the room will soon be gone. The friend who snubbed you in the hallway between fourth and fifth periods will come around later this afternoon or tomorrowin her world, she is dealing with the chemistry test she just got back and anticipating her parent’s reaction to another grade less than par.

RELATED: Being a Teen is Hard Enough—Go Ahead and Take the Easy Road Once in Awhile

The teacher who seems to not explain the project very clearly just left his toddler at home an hour away with a fever and another child working remotely while mom is also working from home.

So, give yourself a break and don’t stress.

Dear 16-year-old self,

Please believe me when I say it will all work out.

This year is filled with an enormous amount of chaos, some may say too much in one year, but you will get through it. It will have its ups and downs, its joys and sorrows, and it will ebb and flow, but always stay positive. Stay grounded in your footings, knowing this is one small piece intricately woven into the puzzle of your life’s journey and what a beautiful road you have ahead of you.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s beyond hard some days and feels like there are not enough hours in a day for school, homework, activities, driver’s ed, volunteer work, meeting with college counselors, more AP homework, and did I mention finding time with friends to unwind and just be your silly self, time with family to reconnect over breaded chicken cutlets and laughter at the dinner table, and at some point squeeze in some much-needed sleep?

RELATED: Dear Mom, This Is What I Need You To Remember Now That I’m a Teenager

But this too will come to an end and maybe, just maybe, you will realize you are much stronger and have more than the necessary amount of adrenaline to push you toward the end of this moment in time.

Dear 16-year-old self,

Please understand that you are not perfect, and no one expects you to be.

You are, simply put, exactly how you need to be, flawless at times while often mixed with some inner turmoil that is tugging at your core. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. It’s more than OK to get a mediocre grade, not be the stellar athlete, dancer, or get the lead role in the school play. It’s OK to sometimes have a sassy attitude, to cry from teenage heartbreak, to not know the answer to a question when you are called on in class, to fail a driver’s testit’s all OK . . . you will be just fine down the road of adulthood, trust me.

Dear 16-year-old self,

Please continue to find laughter in the simple things.

RELATED: Dear Daughter, Do Not Be Perfect

Peace within the hurt.

Love within the pain.

Joy within the tears.

And always believe you are unique, and the world is waiting for you and all you have to offer. Your journey is going to be magnificent, and I can’t wait to be a part of it and watch you grow and unfold.

But most importantly, believe that it will all work out.

Love,
Your biggest fan . . . your adult self 

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Ali Flynn

Ali Flynn, the creator of Hang in There, Mama offers encouragement to moms while reminding them they are not alone on their motherhood journey.

Soon There Will Be No More Breakfasts To Make

In: Grown Children, Motherhood, Teen
Ten boy eating breakfast at kitchen counter

T-minus 44 days until a new beginning- Math has never been my strong suit or my favorite subject, but it will be about 19 years spent rising and trying to shine in our house. Nineteen years of prepping one, two, or all three of our sons to get up and ready for school. Nineteen years of making breakfast. Nineteen years of making lunches. For those of you in the thick of it right now, you know exactly what I mean. I think my husband Steve and I have it down to a science now. If we had to do it...

Keep Reading

She’s 13 and Figuring Life Out

In: Teen
Young teen girl smiling lying face down on grass

We’re in the teen years now. The years that were always way off in the future. Those times that seemed like decades away, that other parents were dealing with. Seasoned parents who knew what they were doing. And I would too, once I got there. If I’d been a parent long enough to have a 13-year-old, I must be experienced enough to understand it, right? It didn’t take quite as long as I’d thought to arrive here. Newborn struggles and sleepless nights seemed like they’d go on forever, but then she learned to walk and talk, went to school, and...

Keep Reading

One Day I’ll Miss These Drives To and From School

In: Teen
High school student walking in to front doors, photo from car

I am at the school for the third or fourth time today. I have honestly lost track of how many times I’ve made the drive to the high school. As a first-time high school mom, every day feels new. I watch my child hop out of the car, say “I love you,” give me a little wave, and walk into that building. Some days I do not see him again for 12 or 13 hours, and he is loving every minute of the activities, the friends, and the high school experience. I cannot help but feel proud, excited, and heartbroken...

Keep Reading

The Little Girl I Knew Is Becoming a Young Woman

In: Teen
Tween girl smiling and standing in staircase

I didn’t realize becoming a teenager would be such a huge step in her life. Now, as we approach another year, I find myself looking back in awe. The last year brought so much growth for my firstborn. I wonder if she even realized it. Her independence has flourished, and her desires continue to shift for the better. She still needs me, but more from the sidelines now. She looks for reassurance, guidance, and a steady presence rather than constant hands-on help. It’s that tender stage where being “little” is still missed, yet growing up brings a new kind of...

Keep Reading

We Delayed Giving Our Teen a Phone; It Was Worth It

In: Kids, Teen, Tween
Teen with phone sitting on swing

We made a decision early on not to give our kids phones or smart watches when most of their friends got them. By ages 10 or 11, nearly everyone else had group chats, direct access to friends, and constant digital connection. Our kids did not. That choice came with a cost, especially for me. When I would reach out to other parents about plans, the response was often, “Have him text so-and-so.” Except he couldn’t. And then I would see photos of groups of kids hanging out, sometimes including his friends, and he wasn’t there. I began to wonder what...

Keep Reading

Time Is All We Have with our Kids

In: Motherhood, Teen
Photographer taking a photo of a teen boy outside

A few weeks ago, I made a mistake no mother of a teenage driver wants to make: I watched from the window as my son drove away without his cell phone. He was halfway down the road, carefree and oblivious to my panic, when I realized my favorite tracking app was useless. In a split second, I realized the control I thought I had was gone. In an attempt to calm myself, I remembered two things: 1. He was a good driver; and 2. He was just going to the gas station. While debating whether to jump in the car...

Keep Reading

Mothering a Middle School Daughter Is New

In: Motherhood, Teen, Tween
Teen wading into water

My daughter and I went swimming today. A hobby that has always bonded the two of us, our shared love of water has been a constant since she was a toddler. But not so much lately. My daughter just started middle school, and although she seems to like it, she comes home every day completely worn out. All she wants to do after hours is watch videos on her phone and play on her backyard trampoline. Swimming with me? Not so much. And it’s not just swimming. Lately, our mother/daughter shopping trips and Dairy Queen visits have turned into solo...

Keep Reading

My Teenage Daughter became My Best Friend

In: Motherhood, Teen
Happy mom and teen girl bonding and laughing, sitting on sofa at home, enjoying time together at free time

I don’t know how it happened or even when it happened, but it definitely happened. When my daughter was born, most of the other kids in the family were nearing their teen years, so there were no cousins to play with and no brothers or sisters. What was I to do? I played. I sat on the floor and played anything she asked. I went outside and played anything she asked. I was her best friend. I played hide and seek, doctor, baby dolls, restaurant, and grocery store. I pretended to be horses, cats, and dogs. I slept on the...

Keep Reading

When Holding Space Feels Hard: What to Do When Your Teen Pulls Away

In: Teen
Teen with hood pulled up, side view

You know the look. That mix of distance and defiance behind your teen’s eyes. One moment, they’re snuggling next to you on the couch; the next, you’re met with a slammed door and silence. As a parent coach and long-time educator, I wrote Parenting in the Third Stage because almost every parent I meet asks me the same aching question: “How do I stay connected with my teen when they’re constantly pulling away?” Here’s what I want you to know—really know: Your teen doesn’t hate you. They’re not broken. And you’re not failing. What you’re seeing is part of a...

Keep Reading

I Can’t Remember My Kids When They Were Little

In: Motherhood, Teen
Mom, dad, and teenage son and daughter posing on front porch

I’m 42… or 43? Honestly, I can’t even remember sometimes. Life goes by so fast, and yet at the same time, it drags on so slowly. I have two kids. My daughter is just two weeks shy of 16, and my son is 13. So I’m in the throes of motherhood, trying my best to survive raising two teenagers. As sad as this is to admit, I can’t really remember what it was like when they were little. From babies to toddlers, I have so many pictures of them, but when I look at those photos, it feels like another...

Keep Reading