I lost my mom in August 2021 and my dad in December 2022. Navigating life after losing the two most important people in my life is not easy. My faith has been tested, my patience tried, my hope stolen, and my confidence shaken.
Grief is a very real but very confusing experience. God created us as emotional beings, capable of feeling loss deeply. When Lazarus died, Jesus cried (John 11:35). Even though He was about to raise him from the dead, He grieved the loss of His friend. Thus, grief is not a sign of weak faith but a natural response to love and loss. I’ve heard that grief is love with nowhere to go, and I couldn’t agree more. My love for my parents did not disappear with them; it’s still there—it simply can no longer be expressed.
In my ignorance and pain, I ran from God as I was grieving. When I lost my mom, I was about to become a foreign student. Though blessed to find a church community, I kept my pain to myself. I isolated myself, running from connection with others and God. In His mercy, God coaxed me out of my shell. I found comfort in pouring out my pain to Him, much like David did, knowing He listens even when I don’t have the words to express my grief.
And yet again, after losing my dad, I ran away. I felt cheated out of something precious, like I had suffered some sort of injustice. Why did I have to lose both of them? Couldn’t I at least have one by my side as I navigate life? I felt angry. I was suffocating.
And yet again, God was merciful and faithful. In all my suffering, silent anger, and painful outbursts, He was there, wiping my tears away. Though I would push Him away, He held on tight. My holding onto faith after experiencing the two most painful heartbreaks of my life was not my work but a testimony of God’s relentless pursuit of my heart.
I have discovered that lamenting—crying out raw and honest feelings—is not a lack of faith. It is an act of worship, a way to bring our broken hearts to the One who can heal them. God is a loving Father. The perfect Father. Human parents do not see their children’s outbursts and cries when they are hurting as acts of rebellion. How much more does God see and understand us? His love surpasses our overwhelming emotions.
In my grieving, I have found peace. Not because it doesn’t hurt anymore but because I’ve learned to approach God honestly, whether through prayer, journaling, or crying out to Him. At first, I was scared to ask Him questions regarding the loss of my parents. Those unspoken but very present thoughts became a barrier in my relationship with Him. Going to Him, the all-knowing God, has been freeing. My questions have not been answered, but He’s provided me with more than answers: peace, hope, and faith.
I have started to remember that our life on earth is temporary, no matter how long or short it may seem to be. We are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes (James 4:14). Yet, we have eternity to look forward to. My comfort when the pain feels unbearable is knowing that death is not the end and that I’ll one day be reunited with them because they knew Him (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14).
It might be harder for those of us who lost loved ones who were not in the faith, but we can be encouraged knowing that, “He will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and death shall be no more; neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).
Grief, though painful, has deepened my faith and drawn me closer to God. I have learned to rely on God for comfort, peace, and joy. I have implemented some practices that helped me stay grounded, such as spending time in Scripture, surrounding myself with a supportive faith community, and praying honestly, even when words felt impossible. I cannot stress this enough: cry as much as you want or need to, but cry out to God. He is near the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
Grieving is not a sign of spiritual failure but a journey through which God walks beside us. Our understanding is too limited to fully grasp God’s love. God will not reject you in your pain, even if you run from Him. He is the One who leaves the ninety-nine for the one. Trust and rely on Him in the process, and one day, death will be no more!
by Megan Rogers 
by Laura Bower 
by Chelsea Ohlemiller 
