By Tessa Dreyer 
“How many kids do you have?” another mother asks me at the playground. A question most moms ask when meeting anyone new in a setting such as a playground. My go-to answer is always, “Just the one.” Then I feel the need to justify why I am just as tired looking as a mom with five kids by adding, “But we have lots of pets.” For some reason, this makes me feel like I am a bigger part of the mom club. But why do I feel like I don’t belong with mothers who have more than “just“ one child?
There’s a certain amount of grief mothers feel when they know they will not be adding any more little beings into this world. It comes and goes like a wave in the ocean as our children grow up and need us less and less. When you stop at one child, you feel this very strongly at every milestone because you know there won’t be another one following from another child. I don’t understand why God has written my motherhood journey this way, but I have learned to trust Him, embrace this beautiful adventure, and highlight all the positives about having one child.
The more I think about it, there is so much beauty and joy in my role as a mother of one child. For example, I read to my son uninterrupted every single night of his life. I let him have his friends over at our house, and there is always enough room for more kids at the table. I teach him to have meaningful conversations with adults because there are often times when he is the only kid around. And so much more. My husband and I are also in the habit of being more content and living in the moment. We make sure we take in the big moments and have learned to appreciate the here and now God has given us.
Ultimately, when you become a mom, you are forced to stop being selfish and surrender everything to the life of your child. This self-sacrifice is not just an integral part of growing up, it’s an example of how we can live our lives as Christ lived (Romans 8:29). It doesn’t matter that I only have one child. I can and will make a difference in his life, just as any mother with more than one child will in hers.
When my son was a couple of months old, I had a photo and quote made for my husband in celebration of us becoming parents. It said, “Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from Him” (Psalm 127:3, NLT). This verse is hugely important because God gives all children as gifts, and it serves as a constant reminder that whether he gives us one or 10, they are given because He loves us so much.
To all the mothers of only children out there, I see you. Embrace the beautiful gift of motherhood God gave you and stop comparing yourself to mothers with more children. We all have struggles, and we are all doing our best. With a lot of prayer and unconditional love, we can do this!
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