When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

Recently, whenever I look in the mirror, I see a strong resemblance to my mother. People always said I looked like her, but I never really saw it until now. I think it may be because you always think of your parents as being older than you are. At the age of 61, I am now only two years away from the age my mother was when she died.

The only good thing about dying young is that everyone will remember you that way. I have only known my mom as the vibrant, personable, and active woman she was. Well, at least before her brain cancer diagnosis. I didn’t have to go through the typical aging ailments and decline most children do with their parents. In my mind, my mom will always be stuck in middle age.

As I am now nearly the age she was, I can’t help but recognize our resemblance to each other. I am sure our likeness was noticeable in other stages of my life, but because I picture her in her early 60s, it’s become so much more evident. I have to admit, I have mixed emotions.

That emotion comes from my wishing she had experienced much more life, and the hope that I will get to do just that. I pray my son will have older parents, but I also know how difficult it is to deal with aging relatives. Here I am, nearly at my mother’s age. In her case, that’s all she wrote. In my case, I can only hope I get to see the many years she missed out on.

Now, when I see my reflection, I also see hers. I see her as a healthy woman in her early 60s, which is exactly how I see myself. There is no escaping it: I do look like my mother, and while it is bittersweet when I pass a mirror, I also like to remember that, like me, my mom had plans and hopes. Hers were cut short, but I’m going to continue to pursue mine and hope there is a day when I look in the mirror and see an older version of my mother. One I can’t resemble because I was given the gift of aging.

Originally published on the author’s Substack