I miss you, mom. Every day.
I miss calling you when a silly question pops into my head—one only you can answer.
I miss sending you funny videos of the kids, like when baby girl dramatically sings “Let it Go” or dances to “Baby Shark.” You’ve seen it a hundred times before, but you’d gush over it again.
I miss the driveway greeting after the long drive to visit you.
But do you know which day I miss you the most?
It’s not the day you died although the feeling of your soft hand in mine as we sang, cried, and prayed over you is something I’ll cherish for a lifetime.
It’s not Thanksgiving, but we can’t help but notice your seat at the dining table is empty.
It’s not even Christmas though my heart is warmed with memories of baking, decorating, and laughing. Remember our Christmas Eve parties? You would light candles and read from the book of Luke. We’d each open a gift and have a treat, and we’d fall asleep filled with the magic of Christmas.
But what day do I miss you the most?
It’s my birthday.
Because now, I know how you felt the day I was born.
I know how hard your body worked to labor and deliver me and the saltiness of the sweat and tears. I know the relief you felt after the last push. I know how your heart swelled as you gazed in awe at the new life and took in that newborn smell.
Because in those precious moments, the world seemed to stop, and it was just you and me.
It’s the closest we’ve ever been.
I think I must’ve always known this day was special for us though I wasn’t able to understand.
I can’t call every year at 9:31 p.m. anymore to ask how were you feeling or what were you thinking. (You always seemed to have a different answer every year, ranging from sentimental to sarcastic.)
But a mother’s love is strong, and I know we are still connected at that moment.
Death can’t separate us.
Happy birthing day, Mom.
Losing a parent is a unique pain. Healing after the Loss of Your Mother is a heartfelt guide for those mourning the loss of their mother, as well as the loved ones helping them through their grief.
Recommendations in this post contain affiliate links. Her View From Home may receive a small commission if you choose to purchase.