To The Teen Who Thinks There’s No Way Out

“I walk up the stairs and I open the door. I look inside just to be sure that no one’s there and I walk inside. I turn around and I shut the door tight.

And I feel a tear roll down my cheek. Then I watch it hit the floor. The next thing coming down is my life. I’m not sure what I’m living for anymore.

But it’s alright and it’s okay, and I look to the sky for a better day, but I don’t see one. And it’s alright and it’s okay. I bet they won’t miss me anyway.

I walk over to my bed and I sit down and pull it closer to my heart. Then I hear feet running up the stairs and I see two eyes peak in to see who’s there. She sees my hands and I hear her run away and now I know it’s now or never.

And I feel a tear roll down my cheek. Then I watch it hit the floor. The next thing coming down is my life. I’m not sure what I’m living for anymore. 

But it’s alright and it’s okay, and I look to the sky for a better day, but I don’t see one. And it’s alright and it’s okay. I bet they won’t miss me anyway.

I hear the feet again, but this time it’s four. And I’m not sure if I want to do this anymore. The feet are coming closer, so fast. The next thing I hear is the great blast and as they open the door, everything goes black. 

And I feel a tear roll down my cheek. Then I watch it hit the floor. The next thing coming down is my life. I’m not sure what I’m living for anymore.

But it’s alright and it’s okay, and I look to the sky for a better day, but I don’t see one. And it’s alright and it’s okay. I bet they won’t miss me anyway.

I open my eyes and I look around. I listen but I don’t hear a sound. Then I look at the four walls of my room and I smile because I’m so glad I’m home. 

I feel a tear roll down my cheek. Then I watch it hit the floor. My sister walks over and gives me a hug. Now I know exactly what I’m living for.

And it’s all good and it’s gonna be okay and I look to the skies for a better day and I think I see one. And it’s alright and it’s okay and I’m so glad that I’m alive today and it’s going to be okay.”

Wow… Listening to this song again today nearly brought me to my knees. I wrote the lyrics to this song when I was in high school and even went as far as to record it on a CD with 7 other songs that I sold to whoever would buy it.

These are the words I wish I could have shared with the young lady from Kearney, Nebraska whose life was ended too soon a few weeks ago. I wish I could have sat with her and shared with her the story I’m about to share with you. Because although it seems like a cliche, it truly does get better. 

Now, let me just put a disclaimer, here, because I’m not talking about depression. I am not a therapist and I have limited personal experience on the topic, so all I will say to that end, is if you are struggling with depression (or if you even think you’re struggling with depression) you’re not alone. Please seek professional help. It does not make you any less of a person and it’s not something you should try to deal with on your own. 

What I am talking about is growing up. High school. Finding yourself. Making mistakes with everyone watching. Being teased. Being put down. Being bullied. Feeling insecure. Struggling with low self esteem at a young age. Trying hard to fit in. Not quite knowing where you belong. 

Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. And I am here to tell you… It. Gets. Better. (SO MUCH BETTER!)

I hated high school, and I don’t use that word lightly. In fact, there was a good chunk of high school where I actually hated my life. I felt so confused on why I wasn’t like everyone else. I wasn’t teased ruthlessly, but I was teased. And I had incredibly low self esteem.

Fast forward years later (I’m not going to admit how many years), and here I am. I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve gone through some pretty rough times. But it’s (almost) all been uphill from high school. 

I know who I am. I’m proud of who I am. I’m happy. I have great friends with similar interests and that like me for me. I love my life. 

So, my dear sweet girl (or young man), it gets better. It truly does. Take it from a woman who once wrote those terrifying lyrics above.

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Articles by Lacy Jo Donald

Lacy Jo Donald

I, like many mothers, can't remember my life before I had children. I adore my children and love to spend time with them. I also love my job, God and my family!

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