So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

This broken pencil is all that’s left of a nearly two hour battle that took place in our home tonight. A battle that raged inside the mind of my oldest child.

My oldest son is athletic and funny and quiet and shy. He is a 4th grader who likes to be around his friends and wear Under Armor everything and cheer for the Huskers. He loves blue and gold and all things SC. He loves football and running and grossing me out with his mouth guard after a long practice. My son is all these things and more and I love him deeply. But my son also has ADD/ADHD. If you don’t know much about ADD/ADHD (like myself a few short months ago) then you’d never even imagine that he could be affected by it. I thought ADD/ADHD was just a kid who never sat still and was always on the move. I never knew that it could look like a quiet boy who flies under the radar and appears to just not care about school. Like a little boy who was, what we thought, just being extremely stubborn. Like a little boy that would hit and kick and scream even though he was almost through his first decade of life. We just never knew.

But God works all things for His good and in His time. And He made things clear to my husband and I when He knew we could come together as a team and handle them. My sweet little boy is facing a lot of struggles in this phase of growing up. He is a good head or more shorter than everyone else his age and he struggles to feel confident even though he is an amazing athlete, can run faster than most and has more muscles than literally anyone I know. His brain refuses to let him see the good. But what plagues him the most is his inability to let go. To let go of a no, or a not now, or something that he views as unfair. His little mind sinks its claws in deep and will not let him go.

In the past 9 months we’ve been to numerous doctor visits and therapy appointments and have made big improvements in school. But that anger that bubbles over within him at the drop of a hat, that’s something that’s a lot harder to get control of. When he found something to be unfair tonight, the war was on. You can see it in his eyes. A look of sinking, of drowning in an ocean of his own thoughts and actions. Normally this would take hours to run its course. But tonight. Tonight something worked.

It may not  ever work again, but as he was in the depths of his ocean I gave him permission to break that pencil that was in his hand that he’d been threatening me with. To give it all he had. And when he was done with that he could go grab another. And another. And as many as he needed to get all that anger out. And when he screamed that he’d probably get in trouble for that I gently told him I’d rather buy a thousand pencils and he break them all than to have him feeling this way. That anger needed a path out of him and tonight we found it.

After breaking the pencil we both punched his pillow a few times and he screamed into the sheets. We got every last ounce of that anger out of his body. And while a year ago I would have been horrified to see him acting that way and “disrespecting” our home like that. Tonight I was grateful. Tonight he found a way to be physical without being physical towards me. He found a way to give his emotions a voice without screaming the most hurtful words I’ve ever had to hear. Tonight, he was reassured that he is loved, and wanted, and although he may have some obstacle to overcome, they are not unconquerable.

He was made for a purpose by a loving God. And He is writing a beautiful story for my son. One of difficulty that I’ve never know, but also one of victory. Victory over this battle. Victory over this body that tries to fail him. Victory over death if he believes what Jesus did for him on the Cross. So tonight, tonight I am oh so thankful for that broken pencil. For a God who cannot be broken. For a God of second chances. For a God that does not give up on us. For a God that is showing me how to love and parent this boy that at time seems unlovable. God is the author of our family’s story and I am ever so thankful that I can trust him to sustain us through this trying time. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Her View From Home

Millions of mothers connected by love, friendship, family and faith. Join our growing community. 1,000+ writers strong. We pay too!   Find more information on how you can become a writer on Her View From Home at https://herviewfromhome.com/contact-us/write-for-her//

Dear Tween, I Will Try To Remember You Little

In: Kids, Motherhood, Tween
Tween boy lying on back of couch cushions in front of a window

When I hold you, I will try to remember your tiny arms and tiny legs wrapped securely around me. When I see you crying, I will try to remember your scraped, tanned knees and how I could fix anything with a kiss and a Band-Aid. When you tell me to go away, I will try to remember how you reached for my hand to take your next step. When you answer me with silence, I will try to remember the nights you wouldn’t let me go without one more story. RELATED: I’ll Lay With You As Long As You Need,...

Keep Reading

Look beyond the Labels for What You Don’t See

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three kids sitting on parents' laps smiling

I’ve always said that labeling someone with high- or low-functioning autism, or any disability for that matter, isn’t ever truly accurate. You may see an extremely smart girl who seems “normal” but you don’t see everything. You don’t see how the noises hurt her ears. You don’t see how the bright lights hurt her eyes. You don’t see how hard she struggles to fit in. You don’t see how she struggles to understand the social cues. You don’t see how seriously she takes what you say even if you’re joking. You don’t see the struggles when she’s having an overwhelming...

Keep Reading

When You Look Back on These Pictures, I Hope You Feel My Love

In: Kids, Motherhood
Four kids playing in snow, color photo

I document your life in pictures. I do it for you. I do it for me. I do it because I want you to know I lived every memory. And loved every moment. When you go back through the thousands of moments, I hope it sparks something deep inside of you. Something that perhaps your heart and mind had forgotten until that moment. And I hope that it makes you smile.  I hope the memories flood and you remember how much each moment was cherished.  I hope each giggle and secret that was shared with your sisters at that moment sparks...

Keep Reading

For the Parents of the Kids Who Don’t Fit the Mold

In: Kids, Motherhood
mom hugging her daughter

This one is for the parents of the kids who don’t fit the mold. I see you holding your kid together with nothing but love and a prayer as they cry or feel defeated and you wish the world would see your kid like you do. I see you wiping away their tears after they were yet again passed over for all the awards and accolades. There is no award for showing up for school despite crippling anxiety or remembering to write down assignments for the first year ever. So they had to sit clapping again for friends whose accomplishments...

Keep Reading

Let Your Kids See You Try and Fail

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter sitting on floor knitting together

Let your kids see you try and fail at something. That’s what I did today!  My daughter wanted to take a knitting class together. I said sure, naively thinking the skill would come pretty naturally. I’m usually good at things like this.  Guess what? It didn’t. Although she picked it up easily and was basically a knitting pro within five minutes, the teacher kept correcting me, saying, “No, UNDER! You need to go UNDER, not OVER.” She was kind enough, but it just wasn’t clicking. I started to get frustrated with myself. I normally take things like this in stride...

Keep Reading

My Kids Don’t Like to Read, but They Do Love to Learn

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two children reading with each other, color photo

I fell in love with books during a war while my kids lost interest in reading during COVID. Between 1975 and 1990 during the Civil War in Lebanon, my mom, an avid reader, was determined to make me one despite many odds. Once every few weeks, starting when I was about 10, she and I would make the half-hour trek by foot from our apartment in Beirut to a place we called the “book cave.” It was a nondescript space—about 15 by 20 square feet—tucked in the basement of a dilapidated building. Inside, it housed hundreds of books in various...

Keep Reading

Dear Teachers, Thank You Will Never Be Enough

In: Kids, Living
Kids hugging teacher

Growing up a teacher’s daughter has given me a lifetime of appreciation for educators. Of course, it’s true; I may be biased. I’ve been fortunate to have learned and been guided by many outstanding teachers, including my mother and grandmother, who passed those legacy skills onto my daughter, who strongly feels teaching is her calling. But if you’ve had your eyes and ears open in recent years, you, too, probably feel deep gratitude for the angels among us who work in the school system. So, as the school year ends, and on behalf of parents, grandparents, and anyone who loves...

Keep Reading

Before You, Boy, I Never Knew

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three boys playing in creek, color photo

Before you, boy, I never knew that little boys could get so dirty. Play so rough. Climb so high. Assess your risks. Make me hold my breath. Messes everywhere.   Before you, boy, I never knew how much my lap will make room for you. My arms will stretch to swallow you up in endless hugs and just hold you close. And love you to the moon and back. And back again. Snuggling and snuggling.  RELATED: I Met a Boy and He Changed Everything Before you, boy, I never knew that there would be so much wrestling. And superheroes, and far-off...

Keep Reading

It Hurts Seeing My Kid as a B-List Friend

In: Friendship, Kids, Teen
Teen girl sitting alone on a dock

Kids everywhere are celebrating, or will be celebrating soon. They will be playing outside, enjoying warm summer days, bike rides with friends, and maybe even sleepovers. It’s summer—it’s fun, right? Sure, it is. And sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it isn’t fun for the kids you least expect it from. We have that issue, and I knew it was building for the past few weeks with our teenage daughter. She was moody (moodier than normal). Short tempered. Obviously frustrated, but not ready to talk about it. But it was when she came home on the last day of school, in tears,...

Keep Reading

5 Money Tips to Set Your Kids Up for a Strong Financial Future

In: Grown Children, Kids, Motherhood, Teen
Father putting quarters in child's hand

As parents, we want to see our children become independent, but the transition to financial independence has unique challenges. I get it. I have three children of my own, and each of them deals with money differently. The transition can be especially difficult if you are a family that doesn’t talk openly about money. Regardless of whether money has been an open topic in the past, as your high school graduate moves on to the next chapter in their life, it’s important to help them start thinking about their financial future. College tuition, rent, and other expenses can be overwhelming...

Keep Reading