I’ve watched my own mom become a grandma on three different instances now. First, nearly 10 years ago, she became a grandma for the first time to my twin nieces when my sister had children. Then, about four years ago she became a grandma to my own sweet son Logan and much more recently (four months ago to be exact) she became a grandma to her youngest and newest grandson Noah.
First seeing my mom become a grandma to my twin nieces was an incredible experience. I saw her be there for my sister as she navigated through all of the challenges that came with learning to be a twin mom from the start of her pregnancy and the shock of finding out she was expecting two babies to the arrival of two beautiful baby girls.
My mom spent hours tirelessly helping my sister learn motherhood and care for her two girls. She fed babies, changed diapers, ran errands, accompanied my sister to doctor’s appointments, and rocked babies to sleep. My mom even chose to discontinue working to provide full-time childcare for my nieces. She was there for all of the girls’ firsts—their first words, first steps, first days of preschool and elementary school, first dance recitals, first basketball and soccer games, first losses, and first failures.
I always expected my mom would also be a wonderful grandma to my own children, but what I didn’t expect was that she would become even better. I had my first son Logan during the COVID pandemic. Just as we entered the hospital for his birth, the world began shutting down and mask mandates ensued. I felt the stinging loss of finding out I was only allowed one support person to accompany my birth, which meant my mom couldn’t be with me as I welcomed my son into the world.
I felt anxiety and fear knowing I wouldn’t have the typical postpartum experience of family support both in and out of the hospital. Despite all of this, however, my mom was there for us. She met my son through FaceTime and viewed him through glass doors and windows at first. But more importantly, she was there for us. She made us meals, sent us packages, ordered groceries for us, and of course, answered countless phone calls and text messages from me as I too learned to be a mother for the first time.
When Logan was about three months old, my mom was able to hold her first grandson for the very first time, and after that, again, she began to watch my son full-time so I could continue working without placing my son in typical childcare. I saw my mom be both nurturing and fun with her new grandchild. Seeing her be a grandma to a grandson was a whole new experience.
Just a few months ago I again had this opportunity, and it struck me . . . my mom became a better grandma over time. With each new grandchild, she only got better at providing love, care, guidance, laughter, and fun to her grandchildren. You would think she would be losing energy and growing tired, but she only got better with time. She became even kinder, more patient, more loving, and more nurturing. Not only did my mom exhibit these qualities, but she also remained steadfast in providing the same love and support to me as a mom just as she did to my sister when she first became a mom 10 years prior.
I can’t help but ask myself how does a grandma become better with time? The answer to this question, however, may be one I’ll never know until I myself experience the role firsthand. All I do know is that a grandma’s heart must have the room to love as many grandchildren that come her way. A grandma’s heart continues to grow as her grandchildren grow. A grandma’s heart expands in the love and patience needed to nurture little babies and toddlers. And a grandma’s heart learns to adjust and accommodate the ever-changing needs of her grandchildren as they too grow older. My mom is the perfect example of a grandmother who gets better with time.
by Vicki Bahr 
by Ashley Daniels 
by Carolyn Moore 
