Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

I’ve written thousands of words in my career, but never have I used them to open up quite like this about my interracial family. I don’t normally draw attention to our different colors of skin in the written word because we are, first and foremost, an imperfect family comprised of a father, mother, daughter, and son. Call us the Berenstain Bears, if you like. Many of our struggles and triumphs have nothing to do with our ethnicities (take nap time, dishes, or the budget, for instance. Sound familiar? Yep, we got ‘em, too.).

Of course we have differences. Yes, people stare as we walk down the street, a blend of four continents coursing through our veins. We aren’t colorblind; I happen to think our colors are beautiful. That doesn’t mean I want to draw attention to this one aspect of our family…unless I have something to say.

Today, as I watch our nation bleed in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas, and so many other places, I have something to say.

I spoke these words first to my heavenly Father in a night of brokenness and tears at my church’s prayer vigil after the Dallas shooting. It’s about fear. It’s about selfishness. It’s about courage. It’s about surrender.

From one imperfect, frightened mom to another, I’d like to share my prayer with you.

Heavenly Father,

You are no color. You are no race. You are the great equalizer; the sovereign God who has every right to demand your people follow your ways. And yet, you gave us the freedom to choose how we wish to live, what we believe, and who we worship. You gave us the freedom to love and hate.

You painted our skin with the same artistry used to paint the stars and the autumn leaves that glow each October. Yes, our skin was another gift from you. Due to our free will, some of the world saw how differently we all look and chose hate. People are dying because of this hate.

My family, God. I come to you about my family. I feel it’s in danger. We’re just so different. This divided nation sees our interracial unity every time we leave the house. It’s like a banner waving above the crowds. It’s like symbols crashing around our ears to announce our presence to the world.

Dontae and I are just two people who laugh at the same Brian Regan jokes and enjoy ska music and who happened to fall in love. Our skin and our families and our cultures and our backgrounds have no volume control, no pause button. It’s just a loud situation in a nation divided so strongly by prejudice right now.

There is absolutely nothing I would change about marrying my husband and starting a family with him, but will the world continue to accept us so willingly? What will it do to my children if things continue to escalate? They have no choice but to be different than their peers. God, I love my country, but I don’t know if I trust it right now with my children’s future. Especially when it’s pushing you so far out of schools, holidays, major league baseball games, and everything in between.

Let’s back up a second. I need to confess something about all this talk of “trust.” I caught myself praying something pretty dangerous in front of the kids, recently. It’s more like what I wasn’t praying. Meals and bedtimes went a lot like this:

“God, thank you for this day. Thank you for your protection. Please watch over the children as they sleep. Keep them from harm. Keep their daddy safe as he drives home from work. Amen.”

I finally realized I’ve been so paralyzed by fear as I’ve watched each new horror unfold in the news that I’ve begun teaching my children to fear through my prayers. Basically, I’ve been asking you to never let anything happen to us.

I was Marlin in Finding Nemo refusing to let go of control of his son until Dora says, “Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.”

Me: Just don’t let stuff happen to us. Amen.

When did I become so selfish?

God, I have a new prayer for you today. A broken prayer. An incomplete offering that scares me so much more than wallowing in my own selfishness. I don’t know what this country will endure before you send your son, Jesus, to take us home, but I do know that the first lessons about love, acceptance, and unity should begin in the home. So, for the sake of my young, beautiful children who make my heart so full that my chest aches, I am ready to pray a new prayer with them.

God, I pray for bravery – that I would stop cowering in fear over the unknown. I pray for wisdom – that you could help me be the best mom I could be for my kids. I pray for a chance to shine a light in this darkness. I pray that our family would send the world a message of peace that glorifies you by our example of unified diversity. No, we can’t hide, but God I do pray that you would protect us from Satan’s evil in this world. May we not be afraid to open our door to our neighbors and break bread together, just as Jesus did during his time on earth.

The most difficult thing I need to say to you, God, is that I’m letting go of the reins. I’m re-committing my children’s futures back to you. I’ll be honest. I don’t like it right now, but I know in my soul that it’s the best gift I could offer my kids.

You knit them together in my womb. Psalm 139:13

You know the number of hairs on their heads. Luke 12:7

You have big plans for them…plans filled with hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Just when I thought all this fear was built on my fierce love for my children, the kind that means I’d lay down my life for them, a new realization dawned on me.

You already died for them.

Therefore, your love is unquestionable. May we never forget your brave love. May we remember that you truly are the only one strong enough to overcome the evils of this world. May we be brave parents who do what we must to protect our children, but who continually teach acceptance, unity, and the beauty of our own diversity.

God, I’m going to need serious help with all this.

In Jesus’ name I pray,


So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Laura Harris

Laura Harris is a Christian writer, wife, and mother of three rambunctious cherubs. She is passionate about faith, family, finance, and Star Wars. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, and Equipping Godly Women. When she’s not on an adventure with her family, you can find her encouraging Christian work-at-home moms on Facebook or blogging about faith and motherhood at

The Proverbs 31 Woman for Teens

In: Faith, Teen, Tween
Teen girl smiling outside

A girl with a noble character is hard to find. Her family can trust her. She sees things to be done and does them without being told. She has a good attitude when asked to do something. She makes wise decisions about her friends. She tries to put others first even when she doesn’t want to. She stands up for herself and the underdog who is being bullied. RELATED: A Prayer For Daughters She tells the truth—even if she is going to get in trouble. She is strong physically and not lazy. She is a problem solver in all situations. She...

Keep Reading

Some Mothers Never Get Their Rainbow Baby

In: Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Sad woman with head in hands sitting on bed

Not everyone gets a rainbow baby—that’s a truth not many of us talk about. There are many women who long to have a rainbow baby but because of health or age, they never get one. We never talk about it. We don’t want to bring rain on someone’s otherwise happy day. “Oh, I’m so excited for you. Congratulations on your rainbow baby.” Meanwhile, I’m still waiting for mine. The clock is ticking and there is no sign of a rainbow baby. My body is wearing down and the chances of getting pregnant dwindle. I don’t mean to sound bitter. I’m...

Keep Reading

God Had Different Plans

In: Faith, Motherhood
Silhouette of family swinging child between two parents

As I sip my twice-reheated coffee holding one baby and watching another run laps around the messy living room, I catch bits and pieces of the Good Morning America news broadcast. My mind drifts off for a second to the dreams I once had of being the one on the screen. Live from New York City with hair and makeup fixed before 6 a.m. I really believed that would be me. I just knew I’d be the one telling the mama with unwashed hair and tired eyes about the world events that happened overnight while she rocked babies and pumped milk....

Keep Reading

This Will Not Last Forever

In: Faith, Motherhood
Woman looking at sunset

“This will not last forever,” I wrote those words on the unfinished walls above my daughter’s changing table. For some reason, it got very tiring to change her diapers. Nearly three years later, the words are still there though the changing table no longer is under them. While my house is still unfinished so I occasionally see those words, that stage of changing diapers for her has moved on. She did grow up, and I got a break. Now I do it for her baby brother. I have been reminding myself of the seasons of life again. Everything comes and...

Keep Reading

God Calls Me Flawless

In: Faith, Living
Note hanging on door, color photo

When I look in the mirror, I don’t always like what I see. I tend to focus on every imperfection, every flaw. As I age, more wrinkles naturally appear. And I’ve never been high maintenance, so the gray hairs are becoming more frequent, too. Growing up a lot of negative words were spoken about me: my body, my weight, my hair, my build. Words I’ve somehow carried my whole life. The people who proclaimed them as my truth don’t even remember what they said, I’m sure. But that’s the power of negative words. Sticks and stones may break our bones,...

Keep Reading

Your Husband Needs Friendship Too

In: Faith, Friendship, Marriage
3 men smiling outside

As the clock inches closer to 7:00 on a Monday evening, I pull out whatever dessert I had prepared that week and set it out on the kitchen counter. This particular week it’s a trifle, but other weeks it may be brownies, pound cake, or cookies of some kind. My eyes do one last sweep to make sure there isn’t a tripping hazard disguised as a dog toy on the floor and that the leftover dinner is put away. Then, my kids and I make ourselves scarce. Sometimes that involves library runs or gym visits, but it mostly looks like...

Keep Reading

This Is Why Moms Ask for Experience Gifts

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Mother and young daughter under Christmas lights wearing red sweaters

When a mama asks for experience gifts for her kids for Christmas, please don’t take it as she’s ungrateful or a Scrooge. She appreciates the love her children get, she really does. But she’s tired. She’s tired of the endless number of toys that sit in the bottom of a toy bin and never see the light of day. She’s tired of tripping over the hundreds of LEGOs and reminding her son to pick them up so the baby doesn’t find them and choke. She’s tired of having four Elsa dolls (we have baby Elsa, Barbie Elsa, a mini Elsa,...

Keep Reading

When You Just Don’t Feel Like Christmas

In: Faith, Living
Woman sad looking out a winter window

It’s hard to admit, but some years I have to force myself to decorate for Christmas. Some years the lights look a little dimmer. The garlands feel a bit heavier. And the circumstances of life just aren’t wrapped in a big red bow like I so wish they were. Then comparison creeps in like a fake Facebook friend and I just feel like hiding under the covers and skipping it all. Because I know there’s no way to measure up to the perfect life “out there.” And it all just feels heavier than it used to. Though I feel alone,...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Longing to Become a Mother

In: Faith, Grief, Motherhood
Woman looking at pregnancy test with hand on her head and sad expression

To the woman who is struggling with infertility. To the woman who is staring at another pregnancy test with your flashlight or holding it up in the light, praying so hard that there will be even the faintest line. To the woman whose period showed up right on time. To the woman who is just ready to quit. I don’t know the details of your story. I don’t know what doctors have told you. I don’t know how long you have been trying. I don’t know how many tears you have shed. I don’t know if you have lost a...

Keep Reading