So God Made a Teacher Collection (Sale!) ➔

We’ve been on vacay this week. All 5 of us traveled to warmer weather and {mostly} sunnier skies. It was deeeelightful. On day 4, my five year old declared that he wanted to climb a mountain. So, my husband did some digging and found a hike that might be well-suited for a 5, 3, and 1 year old and we found ourselves at Papago Park in Phoenix. But really, the mountain was not exactly stroller-compliant. And so the older boys and I trekked up the rock formation while my husband pushed the babe around in the stroller down below. We came to a hole, an area designated for looking out, and my heart began to race. Because things like that – taking my kids up to a hole in a rock formation looking out into the wild blue yonder without a single guardrail in place – things like that, make me nervous.

And this, well, this would not surprise my husband one bit. Because when it comes to the two of us, he is the even keel to my nervous Nelly. I will often say, he sees a playground, I see 456 ways we could end up at Urgent Care. I am the one who is often concerned about the temperature of food, the temperature of bath water, the temperature of the outdoors. I am the one who is nervous about Legos on the floor or knives in the dishwasher. I am the one who would think about children falling from a rock formation. And all those concerns, all that worry, wellll – even the thought that I harbor so many more than my husband, well, that gives my anxiety.

But after discussing this with several different girlfriends lately, I am feeling more and more like I am not alone. Which, thankfully, has me feeling a little less batshit crazy. A little.

But truly. I find myself wondering, is anxiety just part of being a mama? If I had a penis, would I be less neurotic?

Here’s the list of things that I think my husband worries about:

– Is my wife happy

Here’s the list of the things I worry about:

– Do the kids know we love them
– Is the school lunch balance paid
– Do we have fruit for breakfast
– The whole Charlie Hebdo/Paris situation
– Our parents’ health
– Will I lose my boys when they find a mate
– What’s for dinner this week
– My childrens’ socks have holes in them
– My middle child’s speech
– My oldest child’s confidence
– My baby’s current cough
– Should I be staying home or working
– Ebola
– School shootings
– People I never sent wedding gifts to
– Should I keep blogging
– Am I a good enough friend
– Is my phone charger in the car
– Will my kid bump his head on that corner and gash it open
– Am I staying within our family budget
– When should I wean my baby
– Should we move to a bigger house
– What is on the floor that my baby could choke on
– What is with measles coming back
– Is my husband happy with our marriage
– Am I a good friend
– Is my house clean
– Do I play with my kids enough
– Do I play with my kids too much
– Are we doing this parenting thing right
– Will the baby get a good nap
– Did the kids watch too much TV yesterday
– Am I Vitamin D deficient
– Will my kids be made fun of because of the things that make them different
– Will my kids make fun of other kids because of their differences
– Am I yelling too much
– Am I not parenting enough
– Do I snuggle enough
– Am I savoring the moments
– Am I coddling my children
– Should I buy all organic food
– Does organic food matter
– Will my oldest be shorter than his brother and will that bother him
– Will my child slip on the rocks and fall
– Will my child jump into the pool without me around
– How can I get my kids to eat more foods
– Will my kids know not to go with strangers
– Is my baby being really quiet or is something wrong with the monitor
– Am I having enough sex
– What is BHT
– Is my child wearing enough clothing for the weather
– Is it going to rain today
– Do I have enough extra diapers in the diaper bag
– Will my baby fall asleep in the car

I mean… I could go on and on. But I won’t. But geeze louise, why do mama’s take the hit when it comes to the crazy train parts of parenting? Because when I look at it all rationally I know that 50% of that doesn’t really matter or won’t happen. And 50% of it is far beyond our control. And 100% of it is not worth the worry, right? That’s what you non-worry warts are thinking, right? Because worrying has never solved any problems. And as Jewel says, “worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.” And if Jewel says it then it has to be true.

It’s not as though I am at a point where my anxiety affects my ability to live my life. I climbed the rock, people. And I still drive a car. And let my children out into the world without bubble suits. But it still consumes a fair amount of my brain space on the regular. And I wonder, what might I use that space for instead? Sports trivia? Periodic table knowledge? The entire history of rock? The possibilities are endless, really.

My husband often says I don’t know how you walk around with that thing in reference to the thoughts that bumble around in my brain. And to that I say, No worries, dude. No worries. 

[adrotate banner=”93″]

[adrotate banner=”94″]

Ashli Brehm

Ashli Brehm = Thirtysomething. Nebraska gal. Life blogger. Husker fan. Creative writer. Phi Mu sister. Breast cancer survivor. Boymom. Premie carrier. Happy wife. Gilmore Girls fanatic. Amos Lee listener. Coffee & La Croix drinker. Sarcasm user. Jesus follower. Slipper wearer. Funlover. Candle smeller. Yoga doer. Pinterest failer. Anne Lamott reader. Tribe member. Goodness believer. Life enthusiast. Follow me at http://babyonthebrehm.com/

I Thought Our Friendship Would Be Unbreakable

In: Friendship, Journal, Relationships
Two friends selfie

The message notification pinged on my phone. A woman, once one of my best friends, was reaching out to me via Facebook. Her message simply read, “Wanted to catch up and see how life was treating you!”  I had very conflicting feelings. It seemed with that one single message, a flood of memories surfaced. Some held some great moments and laughter. Other memories held disappointment and hurt of a friendship that simply had run its course. Out of morbid curiosity, I clicked on her profile page to see how the years had been treating her. She was divorced and still...

Keep Reading

The First 10 Years: How Two Broken People Kept Their Marriage from Breaking

In: Journal, Marriage, Relationships
The First Ten Years: How Two Broken People Kept Their Marriage from Breaking www.herviewfromhome.com

We met online in October of 2005, by way of a spam email ad I was THIS CLOSE to marking as trash. Meet Single Christians! My cheese alert siren sounded loudly, but for some reason, I unchecked the delete box and clicked through to the site. We met face-to-face that Thanksgiving. As I awaited your arrival in my mother’s kitchen, my dad whispered to my little brother, “Hide your valuables. Stacy has some guy she met online coming for Thanksgiving dinner.” We embraced for the first time in my parents’ driveway. I was wearing my black cashmere sweater with the...

Keep Reading

To The Mother Who Is Overwhelmed

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Tired woman with coffee sitting at table

I have this one head. It is a normal sized head. It didn’t get bigger because I had children. Just like I didn’t grow an extra arm with the birth of each child. I mean, while that would be nice, it’s just not the case. We keep our one self. And the children we add on each add on to our weight in this life. And the head didn’t grow more heads because we become a wife to someone. Or a boss to someone. We carry the weight of motherhood. The decisions we must make each day—fight the shorts battle...

Keep Reading

You’re a Little Less Baby Today Than Yesterday

In: Journal, Motherhood
Toddler sleeping in mother's arms

Tiny sparkles are nestled in the wispy hair falling across her brow, shaken free of the princess costume she pulled over her head this morning. She’s swathed in pink: a satiny pink dress-up bodice, a fluffy, pink, slightly-less-glittery-than-it-was-two-hours-ago tulle skirt, a worn, soft pink baby blanket. She’s slowed long enough to crawl into my lap, blinking heavy eyelids. She’s a little less baby today than she was only yesterday.  Soon, she’ll be too big, too busy for my arms.  But today, I’m rocking a princess. The early years will be filled with exploration and adventure. She’ll climb atop counters and...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, I Loved You First

In: Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
Man and woman kissing in love

Dear husband, I loved you first. But often, you get the last of me. I remember you picking me up for our first date. I spent a whole hour getting ready for you. Making sure every hair was in place and my make-up was perfect. When you see me now at the end of the day, the make-up that is left on my face is smeared. My hair is more than likely in a ponytail or some rat’s nest on the top of my head. And my outfit, 100% has someone’s bodily fluids smeared somewhere. But there were days when...

Keep Reading

Stop Being a Butthole Wife

In: Grief, Journal, Marriage, Relationships
Man and woman sit on the end of a dock with arms around each other

Stop being a butthole wife. No, I’m serious. End it.  Let’s start with the laundry angst. I get it, the guy can’t find the hamper. It’s maddening. It’s insanity. Why, why, must he leave piles of clothes scattered, the same way that the toddler does, right? I mean, grow up and help out around here, man. There is no laundry fairy. What if that pile of laundry is a gift in disguise from a God you can’t (yet) see? Don’t roll your eyes, hear me out on this one. I was a butthole wife. Until my husband died. The day...

Keep Reading

I Can’t Be Everyone’s Chick-fil-A Sauce

In: Friendship, Journal, Living, Relationships
woman smiling in the sun

A couple of friends and I went and grabbed lunch at Chick-fil-A a couple of weeks ago. It was delightful. We spent roughly $20 apiece, and our kids ran in and out of the play area barefoot and stinky and begged us for ice cream, to which we responded, “Not until you finish your nuggets,” to which they responded with a whine, and then ran off again like a bolt of crazy energy. One friend had to climb into the play tubes a few times to save her 22-month-old, but it was still worth every penny. Every. Single. One. Even...

Keep Reading

Love Notes From My Mother in Heaven

In: Faith, Grief, Journal, Living
Woman smelling bunch of flowers

Twelve years have passed since my mother exclaimed, “I’ve died and gone to Heaven!” as she leaned back in her big donut-shaped tube and splashed her toes, enjoying the serenity of the river.  Twelve years since I stood on the shore of that same river, 45 minutes later, watching to see if the hopeful EMT would be able to revive my mother as she floated toward his outstretched hands. Twelve years ago, I stood alone in my bedroom, weak and trembling, as I opened my mother’s Bible and all the little keepsakes she’d stowed inside tumbled to the floor.  It...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Friendships End, No Matter How Hard You Try

In: Friendship, Journal, Relationships
Sad woman alone without a friend

I tried. We say these words for two reasons. One: for our own justification that we made an effort to complete a task; and two: to admit that we fell short of that task. I wrote those words in an e-mail tonight to a friend I had for nearly 25 years after not speaking to her for eight months. It was the third e-mail I’ve sent over the past few weeks to try to reconcile with a woman who was more of a sister to me at some points than my own biological sister was. It’s sad when we drift...

Keep Reading

Goodbye to the House That Built Me

In: Grown Children, Journal, Living, Relationships
Ranch style home as seen from the curb

In the winter of 1985, while I was halfway done growing in my mom’s belly, my parents moved into a little brown 3 bedroom/1.5 bath that was halfway between the school and the prison in which my dad worked as a corrections officer. I would be the first baby they brought home to their new house, joining my older sister. I’d take my first steps across the brown shag carpet that the previous owner had installed. The back bedroom was mine, and mom plastered Smurf-themed wallpaper on the accent wall to try to get me to sleep in there every...

Keep Reading

Get our FREE phone wallpaper to encourage you as the new school year begins

It's bittersweet for a mother to watch her child grow—but you both are ready to soar.