Adoption Featured Journal

Adoption Friends

Written by Alissa Kay

Adoption has clearly changed my life. I’ve added so many people in my life that I wouldn’t have gotten to know & love if it weren’t for adoption. When we walked into the adoption agency for the first time 5 years ago, I knew our lives would change. I wanted our lives to change. I wanted to have a family and obviously that changes everything!!  I also knew we’d add people to our family, but I initially didn’t realize how many people and to what degree. I truly consider my kids’ birth families to be part of our family. Not just their birth parents, but the whole family.

What I didn’t realize is how many friends I would gain along the way. The adoption process can be long, emotional, exciting & nerve-wrecking. I didn’t want to feel alone, so I forced myself to become more outgoing and talk to people who were going through similar stuff. We’ve met so many families over the years through the agency at various meetings, trainings and get-togethers. Some of them have become some of my closest friends!

Some of my friends live a few hours away so we mostly keep in touch through email and get together occasionally. Several live in our town. Some of them actually live in our neighborhood!

It’s been such a blessing to know so many adoptive families. A lot of times we talk adoption. It’s nice to talk to someone who “gets it”; to ask questions, share experiences, encourage one another and just to know we’re not alone. But we also talk about normal stuff; even though we didn’t birth all our babies, we’re still normal families.

Our kids are pretty young, but I think it’s a good thing for them too. They’ll grow up with adoption just being a part of life; they won’t be the only adopted kid in school. Even if they don’t want to talk about it, hopefully, they’ll take comfort in knowing they are not alone.

While adoption has blessed me in many ways, I recognize that it’s not always easy.  It can be heart-breaking & is filled with raw emotion. It comes from a place of loss. It can be traumatic; especially for the birth parents & the adoptees.   But I am happy that it has led me to so many wonderful people; many of whom I call family & friends.  Without adoption, I’d be missing my sweet kids, my whole family would be much smaller & I’d be missing out on so many friendships.  Even though, there is an ugly side to adoption, I thank God for the good that adoption has brought into my life.

 

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About the author

Alissa Kay

Alissa was born and raised in the Midwest and currently calls Wisconsin home. She’s happily married to her college sweetheart and she’s living out her dreams of being a stay-at-home mom. Although, let’s be real, she’s hardly ever home. She’s the mom to 3 kids who all came to her via adoption. A boy (8) and 2 girls (6 and almost 4!). The kids keep her plenty busy, but when she has free time she enjoys a night out with friends or curling up with a good book.