Every single mother has asked herself this question. Am I a good mum or a bad mum? Was that the right decision? Should I be doing this? Will my child resent me for this? I can almost say for certain that most mothers ask themselves these questions on a daily basis. I know I do.
But why do we feel like we are a ‘bad’ mum and where does the measurement of ‘bad’ come from? We watch what other mothers do, we analyse their behaviours and worst of all – we see on social media and TV what is expected of a good mum.
As mothers we are constantly comparing ourselves and our children to others. We see another mother with her hair done up, her make up is perfect and she is walking out of the house looking like a million bucks. We think that she must have it all together; she must be a ‘good’ mum. We see other children behaving while grocery shopping while our children are screaming blue murder at each other. We see other two year olds being able to count to 10 and read sight words and start to question whether we are teaching our children enough.
Do you love your children? You’re a good mum.
It’s as simple as that.
There’s no manual on how to be a good mum, there’s no guidelines, no infographic and no checklist. We do what we think is best for our children at any given moment and that makes us a good mum.
We spend too much time looking at the images and stories of ‘perfect’ parents on social media. We forget that this is just a snippet (a heavily edited and selective snippet) of their lives. We don’t see what is going on behind the pictures or behind the status updates.
We compare ourselves to other mothers. We take advice from parenting books with a one size fits all solution. We think that if we are doing something different then we are doing something wrong. We think if our children aren’t sleeping through the night or hitting milestones then it’s because we have failed as a parent.
We forget so quickly all of the incredible things we do.
So mumma, slow down, take a breath and look at your children. Look into their eyes as they say ‘I love you mum’. Feel their little arms wrap around your neck as they ask for a cuddle. Listen to their deep breaths as they sleep soundly in their beds at night.
You’re a good mum. You’re a great mum. You’re an amazing mum.