We recently moved—probably no surprise in this crazy market. We weren’t looking to move, but our dream house (the one we’d been stalking for seven years) suddenly came on the market, and before we knew it, we were sucked into the crazy whirlwind that is the 2023 housing market. We sold our first home and moved to our forever dream home.

We were ecstatic. When you sell your house and move, people are so willing to give advice—and thankfully so because moving a family is a big undertaking. How to pack, systems and methods to packing (get a binder, use color coding), and timelines of things to do and when. I am an information seeker, so I wanted all the tips. Give me spreadsheets, binders, goals, checklists, and the best places for affordable moving supplies. For all the tips, tricks, and advice friends and family lovingly offered, there were a few things no one told me (and I really wished someone had).

You’ll probably miss your first home like crazy. My husband and I scaled down our honeymoon to buy our (first) house five months after getting married. It was this adorable garrison colonial tucked into the perfect neighborhood. Our first morning there, our neighbors shoveled our sidewalk and brought us coffee and pastries from a local coffee shop. It was like something out of a movie. It was located a mile from downtown, which was always bustling with activities, and we spent 15 blissful years there. There was only one house we’d ever leave this one for, and it just so happened to be on the market.

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We loved our first house, and I’m pretty sure it loved us. I never thought I would miss the familiarity of our house, but from the creek of the top step to the special way we had to close that one pesky cupboard in the kitchen, I missed it! We all spent time saying goodbye to a place we would never be in again. No more kids running in and out of that back door or evenings spent snuggled up on the back deck in the cool fall looking at stars.

You’re packing up memories. For all the packing tips in the world, no one told me the emotional toll of packing up memories. We did so many “one last” photos to help us remember and cherish our old house. One last time coming home, one last time eating in the dining room, one last time drawing on the sidewalks. Our kids were born in that home. We loved and said goodbye to pets in that home. As I went through and packed, I was often surprised by what I would be emotional about. I developed a ritual: when I suddenly felt overwhelmed by the emotion of packing and moving, I would take a walk. Sometimes, it would just be in the backyard or around the block, but moving forward always seemed to help me process my emotions.

Your new house won’t feel like home, yet. I kind of knew this one was coming. How could a new place feel like home? (Even if you had been stalking it for seven years like me.) While we were excited to leave our city home in exchange for woods, apple trees, and a creek, it didn’t feel like a home. The kids started saying it felt like an Airbnb. They were exactly right. We, our pets, and our stuff were here, but it would take time until it felt like our home. The sounds were different, the sights were different, even the smells were different. So many times I got home and thought, this doesn’t smell like my house.

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If I had to offer my own piece of advice to a mom moving her family, it would be to take time to feel all the things that should be felt. It’s okay to mourn your old house. It’s okay to feel weird and uncomfortable in a new space. As moms, we often put on that stable face so we can be the guiding light in the grayness of uncertainty.

It’s a given that kids will have a lot of emotions about moving. One of mine was so excited to be moving, and the other one didn’t want to move. I was there to help them process those very different feelings. One of our dogs was a wreck. He paced and whined so much the first couple of days. It might feel like you don’t have time for your feelings, but in order for you to be the best mom you can be, I encourage you to make time. Share your feelings with people close to you and allow yourself space to process all the emotions that go with moving.