So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

I have noticed a trend lately in the blogging world and among my group of mom friends. It’s all over social media with posts I find almost daily. It’s a good trend, really, an excellent one. What am I talking about? It’s a new level of honesty and openness about struggles that women face. We like to call it “being real.”

Women of my generation seem to be feeling more and more comfortable with the idea of authenticity. We see that fake is, well, fake. We long to share our vulnerabilities, our struggles, our fears, and to be able to find someone listening on the other side. Quite frankly, I think we grow tired of pretending that we have it all together. The generations of our mothers’ and grandmothers’, at least in part, seemed to have a certain kind of expectation placed on them to hold it together on the outside. It was not considered as socially acceptable to “lose it” or to be vulnerable about fears and failures in public.

The new trend is freeing. The more this culture shift seems to move, the more women seem to feel comfortable exposing their own fears and inadequacies as wives, moms, friends, you name it.

But, I must admit, I’m having a problem here. Whaaat? How could this possibly be a bad thing? I was the one who said it was a good thing, right? Absolutely. It is.

Coffee with friends

Let me be clear that my problem is not with the authenticity itself. One of my favorite treats is coffee and good conversation with my girlfriends. I have been encouraged on many occasions by friends who have “been there” with me, sympathizing with my weaknesses and frustrations. My problem is where I am left when the sharing time is over, when my friend and I part ways and I go home to live my everyday life with its normal, everyday comings and goings.

Can I back track just a sec? I grew up thinking that holding it together and being a “good girl” was what I needed to strive for. No one taught me this; I just picked it up from various situations. My parents were very loving and verbally affirming people, but somehow I was pretty work oriented.

I became rather prideful about it actually.

It wasn’t until college at UNK and my time with a campus ministry called The Navigators that I began to understand true authenticity and grace. I had become a Christian as a preschooler, but by this point I was hungry for some “real.”

To be fair, I’m sure I experienced it prior to this, I just wasn’t mature enough to let my guard down. The Navigators thrive on a culture of small groups where I met other young women and mentors who were honest about their struggles and expressed how Christ had shown them His grace in the midst of their messes. It was incredibly freeing to realize I could share what I was dealing with apart from judgment.

free

So, with a story like that, how could I possibly have a problem? Honestly, this is pretty new. I have been struggling recently with feelings of failure and struggle. One of the things that has made staying home from teaching particularly challenging for me is that no one is around throughout the day to affirm my efforts or witness my progress.

There are no written standards of work ethic; I set the standard.

There’s no adult interaction at home.

The only critics around are the kids, and they can be pretty harsh.

There are those beautiful moments of glowing love and affection, but they are often fleeting. (Or the 6 year old shoves the toddler, the cat dumps over the trash can, the baby eats a crayon…you get the idea.) 

So, while I found it incredibly reassuring to commiserate with my friends, I was still feeling an intense struggle when it came to daily life and my ability to press on with any measure of success. Why in the world was this? My husband was supportive, I had plenty of family and friends around to support me, I was spending a lot of time praying about my struggles; what was the deal?

messyroom

It wasn’t until I shared my troubles with my hubby and met with a trusted pastor that God began to open my eyes to my true struggle. I had become so focused on needing the approval of others that I was basing my self-worth on it. I loved to “get real” with my friends, but I had never really gotten there with my heavenly Father. I knew He loved me, but there was a mental block that kept me from truly accepting His grace. If I had a bad day with my kids, then I decided I was a failure as a mom. If I got frustrated with homeschooling, I became convinced I was incapable of making it work for my family.

Essentially, I was buying into lies.

I couldn’t accept myself in my struggles, and therefore, couldn’t believe that God would either. I could be authentic with my friends or write a seemingly authentic post, but was letting shame keep me from the same authenticity before God.

This trend of laying it bare was giving me a place to be real with others, but I was stuck there. Like I said, the trend is a great thing, an awesome start. We need one another. Relationships with people are a tremendous blessing. But I was letting it stop there. I knew my struggles by heart, but I couldn’t get past them. I had bought a lie that they defined me when, in reality, that is my heavenly Father’s role. His love for me, what Christ did for me, that is what truly defines me.

I have a new identity. I can be free to be myself. It can’t get any more authentic than that.

cross

 KEA_021715_DigitalAds_550x186_2 (2)

 

Megan Blazek

Megan Blazek grew up in Kearney, Nebraska, and still loves to call it home. She is a mom to 2 daughters, ages 1 and 5. When she isn't busy with the kiddos, she loves reading, splurging on coffee and spending quality time with her hubby. Together, they have entered into the world of foster parenting and have found that they are totally incapable, but God is most capable.

To The Mother Who Is Overwhelmed

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Tired woman with coffee sitting at table

I have this one head. It is a normal sized head. It didn’t get bigger because I had children. Just like I didn’t grow an extra arm with the birth of each child. I mean, while that would be nice, it’s just not the case. We keep our one self. And the children we add on each add on to our weight in this life. And the head didn’t grow more heads because we become a wife to someone. Or a boss to someone. We carry the weight of motherhood. The decisions we must make each day—fight the shorts battle...

Keep Reading

To the Mother of My Son’s Future Wife

In: Grown Children, Inspiration, Kids, Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships
marriage, wife, husband, grown children, www.herviewfromhome.com

To the mother of my son’s future wife, I’m in the midst of dirty diapers and temper tantrums, but I do have days where I think about the future and what it will look like for my son. I wonder who he will be, what he will do and probably most of all, who he will love. I wonder about the type of woman he will bring home to meet us one day. I have my own thoughts on the type of person I wish my son would fall in love with, but we all know that the heart wants...

Keep Reading

Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith

In: Faith, Inspiration, Relationships
Trading Fleeting Moments of Fame for Unshakeable Faith www.herviewfromhome.com

The string quartet began playing Pachelbel, as my dad and I took our first steps down the aisle. I began to lose my composure as we proceeded to the altar. Hundreds of guests had their eyes on me as tears streamed down my face. Struggling to look my future in the eyes, I looked to the ground for reprieve. God, everything around me looks perfect, so why doesn’t this feel right? I’m not sure how I got here. The flame once dancing inside of me, has extinguished. Lord, I need you. Dad squeezed my hand gently, “Are you OK sweetie?”...

Keep Reading

Children Don’t Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger

In: Inspiration, Mental Health, Motherhood
Children Don't Get Easier, We Just Get Stronger www.herviewfromhome.com

“This too shall pass.” As mothers, we cling to these words as we desperately hope to make it past whichever parenting stage currently holds us in its clutches. In the thick of newborn motherhood, through night wakings, constant nursing and finding our place in an unfamiliar world, we long for a future filled with more sleep and less crying. We can’t imagine any child or time being more difficult than right now. Then, a toddler bursts forth, a tornado of energy destroying everything in his wake. We hold our breath as he tests every possible limit and every inch of...

Keep Reading

This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere

In: Inspiration, Kids, School, Teen
This North Dakota Homecoming Queen is Capturing Hearts Everywhere www.herviewfromhome.com

When Paula and Kevin Burckard’s third child was born, she arrived with a little something extra the North Dakota couple never saw coming.  Newborn Grace had Down syndrome, and the diagnosis initially left the young parents devastated. “When Grace was born, I thought all my dreams for my daughter had basically been dashed,” Paula said.  But it didn’t take long for those fears to subside.  As Grace grew, not only did she meet and surpass milestones, her infectious joy, inspirational grit, and deep love of all things Michael Jackson transformed the family—and countless hearts. The Burckhards went on to adopt...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, When I Forget What It’s Like To Be Little

In: Child, Inspiration, Kids, Motherhood
Hey Mom, Don't Forget—You Were a Kid Once, Too www.herviewfromhome.com

The kids were squealing in the backseat. For the five minutes prior they were begging me to spill the beans on where we were going as I had only told them to get their shoes, get in the car and buckle up. It’s one of the ways I’ve learned to make a simple trip out of the house one that is a mysterious adventure to them. As we took left and right turns away from our house, they were trying to guess where we were going . . . and when we finally pulled up to a brand new playground...

Keep Reading

My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me

In: Inspiration, Journal, Motherhood
My Children Deserve To See the Whole Me, Not Just the Mom Me www.herviewfromhome.com

Before I was a mother, I was a human being. A human being with life experiences, passions, fears, talents, hobbies, goals, friends and aspirations that I cherished and tried to honor. Even though I went through a variety of seasons of life . . . from school-age days, to working adult, to wife . . . those things always stayed with me. I stayed open to evolving, but never let go of who I inherently was. Then came motherhood. And suddenly I found myself abandoning my commitment to remain true to me, and leaving any semblance of myself in the...

Keep Reading

My Mother-in-Law’s Legacy: Simplicity

In: Inspiration, Journal
My Mother-in-Law's Legacy: Simplicity www.herviewfromhome.com

The memories of my mother-in-law spilled to the forefront of my mind, just as the contents of his jacket pocket fell onto our dresser. It was Proverbs 31, written on hotel stationery, in my neatest block print. Holding the small papers in my hand brought me right back to her graveside, on a hot summer morning, seven years ago. “Her children arise and call her blessed.” (verse 28) As my second daughter gave a mighty kick from the womb, visible to every mourner present that day, I couldn’t help but to allow my mind to wander. Were my values apparent...

Keep Reading

A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce

In: Inspiration, Journal
A Car Accident Left My Teenager Paralyzed—and Incredibly Fierce www.herviewfromhome.com

I drove back from my son’s college concert near midnight. Exhausted, I glanced at my 14-year-old daughter, Beth, asleep in the passenger seat. We were only 10 minutes from home. I thought I could make it until I heard a road sign flatten on concrete. As the car flipped three times across a bare Ohio field, we left behind an ordinary life. I escaped with cuts, bruises, and blood-matted hair. Beth was another story. The car was cut open and a helicopter rushed her to Toledo. A doctor told my husband John that she was paralyzed. When John broke the news...

Keep Reading

Dear Mama, You’re Allowed To Not Be There

In: Inspiration, Motherhood
Dear Mama, You're Allowed To Not Be There www.herviewfromhome.com

Friday afternoon was not much crazier than most afternoons. My husband was mowing the lawn, my daughter was hangry and my youngest son was due to be in a talent show in twenty minutes. I stood in the kitchen—where it seemed like I’d been for an hour—trying to motivate my family to eat dinner and get ready to go. “Get dressed, Jude. Make sure you eat something.” “Dean, do you want a slice of pizza before we leave?” I screamed over the lawn mower. “Maeve, are you going to the optional soccer practice or the talent show? You need to...

Keep Reading

5 Secrets to the

BEST Summer Ever!

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Creating simple summer memories

with your kids that will  last a lifetime