Every time I saw a little boy grabbing in his own pants, I was a bit like what the? Why don’s his parents say something? And also, don’t they teach him that you shouldn’t do that in public? What kind of parenting is that? Let’s just touch ourselves the whole day and be happy or what?

Every time a boy mom talked or wrote about how their little prince couldn’t stop touching his penis, I was like yeah right. What do you mean that your toddler can’t stop touching his privates? Is he bored or something that he doesn’t have anything else to do? What do you mean you can’t get your son to stop pulling and tugging his willy? Just tell him to stop! How hard can it be?

When during my 20-week appointment the doctor made a slightly interesting comment, I was even more arrogant. He said he was sure it was a boy and not just because he saw a little penis, but also because that little boy inside my uterus had his hand on said penis and only boys had their hands down there. It was genetically programmed that they touch themselves, they are born like that according to the doc. My reaction was again -yeah right, you’re just saying that to have an excuse for all the touching you guys do. Also, what is wrong with you, saying my little sweet innocent unborn baby is touching himself?

I mean I know that guys touch themselves (we all have seen the guy sleeping on the couch with his hand in his boxers without realizing it right?), but not little boys. Babies, toddlers, preschoolers, school aged boys, oh common, they are way too freaking young for these kind of things!

Oh boy, was I wrong. When my son was just 6 months old he discovered his penis and especially during bath time he kept pulling it. Sometimes so hard that I was afraid he would hurt himself. And well, basically – it never stopped. So during bath time his hands always go down there with a big smile on his face looking at us to show what he is doing. I guess the only thing stopping me from being like “those boy moms” is the fact that he is still wearing a diaper so apart from during bath time his penis is well hidden.

Right? Just tell him to stop, how hard can it be? Well, it’s not only hard, it’s freaking impossible!

So to all boy moms, I apologize, I didn’t know better. You were right…