A Mother Somewhere Needs To Hear She’s Doing a Good Job

A mother somewhere needs to know she is a good mom.

Whether she is too lenient or too strict, she needs to know she is doing a good job.

Because good kids come out of a variety of differing environments.

A mother somewhere needs to know her children will turn out fine.

And can there be such assurances?

No, there can’t because no one knows the future.

Whether negligent or attuned, sometimes bad and tragic events happen to even the most precautious and protected.

And sometimes even the most influential and incredible people come from the most horrific of upbringings.

Absolutely, it is wise for a parent to be prudent of danger, to be attentive, to teach, to prevent, to imprint our children and be aware of what prevails around them.

Parents should fight hell to protect their children to the best of their ability.

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Ignorance can be bliss when it comes to awareness of danger.

While ignorance can allow one to whimsically experience blissful, carefree, joyful moments, it can also set the stage for preventable tragedies.

Sometimes this ignorance is by choice when a parent foolishly thinks tragedy could never happen to them.

Most times the worse does not happen, but sometimes it does.

It is wise to be mindful of when these chances may be increased.

A mother somewhere needs to know she did OK.

More than OK.

She needs to know she’s awesome.

Truthfully, yes, the carefree mom should be more careful, and the over-the-top mom needs to chill.

Because perhaps being incredibly uptight, rigid, stressed, and overly careful can be no fun and result in limited life experiences, significantly less learning, and delayed development of independence and autonomy.

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Life made to be too safe significantly decreases our precious time to experience the beauty, splendor, and exhilaration of living.

Yes, I said that. Me—the too-often worried, proactive, and preventative mom.

Life can be made too safe, and it’s not meant to be too safe.

Life is dangerous and messy.

That is how we learn.

Keep it fun, vibrant, and exciting.

Yet, use common sense so as to keep on living. 

So what is a mom to do?

Are we to keep them safe or set them free and hope for the best?

And when and how does one do this?

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We are called to protect and provide for our little spawn until they are capable to do so for themselves, weaning them off slowly.

This pace is different for each child, parent, culture, and community.

There are no manuals.

Moms pull up or push forward based on what they deem best in that moment.

Sometimes it is completely appropriate and sometimes it is severely not.

But moms, being moms, can change it up as they deem necessary.

Yes, moms, being moms, can be imperfect and can also change up their parenting and permissions based on what they deem is best for their child at any given time as they learn more along this journey.

Moms have this authority and autonomy.

We are all learning along this journey—parents and children alike.

The ride is rough and the waves are big at times.

Sometimes the waves overtake you as a parent.

Sometimes they overtake your child.

Hopefully, both parent and child are buoyant to weather these storms.

Everyone needs to learn to swim. It is a life skill. 

A mother somewhere needs to know she is not alone.

There are life jackets available.

Hope lives and abounds.

A mother somewhere needs to know and be encouraged to keep pressing on.

Keep caring and trying.

Your love and wisdom will get through . . . eventually.

It’s a journey, not a sprint.

The story isn’t over yet.

Even in the darkest days, trust all these things will work together for good one day.

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A mother somewhere needs to know it is OK to learn, change, and grow along the way in parenting and to learn from one another.

It’s OK to be angry and cry some days. 

Parents should not compare themselves or their children to other parents and children.

All of our ways, successes, techniques, circumstances, and makeup are different.

We can learn from one another, but it is imperative to realize everyone is completely different and not everything works the same when applied to someone else.

We each have individual needs and require individual solutions to meet those needs.

A mother somewhere needs to know and be validated that she knows in her heart what is best for her child.

Be honest with yourself about your child.

Now, work like a mother to teach, to coach, to advocate for, to make it happen, and most of all to love.

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A mother somewhere needs to know she is enough.

Now go love your kid even more because you still can.

Trust yourself.

Give yourself grace.

This is not a race.

Let us learn from one another, spur one another on, shimmer and shine.

Because you, fierce mother, are doing just fine.

I am that mother.