I’m a true believer in God, but I’d be lying if I said I’m always understanding His reasons.

I’m sometimes puzzled looking at the believers who so proudly lead the way with their bulletproof faith. I’m confused by their happiness.

Sometimes, I resent their willpower. Their ability to remain grounded when their faith is being tested. Their appreciation for the little blessings we tend to look past every day. Their empathy when things don’t go as planned.

I envy their pure hearts that are always so full of kindness.

I envy their fulfillment—their lack of concern for matters not in their hands, submitting themselves whole to their Creator.

How can I be one of these people who find happiness when life becomes unbearable, knowing God is with them, holding their hand, and guiding them with every step they take?

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How is it that it seems these people have ultimate happiness? It seems their acceptance has led them to a state of bliss.

But maybe it’s too hard for us to have this blind faith because we’re afraid to let go. We’re afraid to surrender the leadership of our lives.

I truly believe when you see God for His true eminence, only then can you experience euphoria. And there’s the kicker—His glory cannot be seen nor measured nor replicated, so how can we expect to understand it?

It’s easy to dwell on sadness and misery, but it’s challenging to look for the beauty in your pain.

After all, we are only human.

It’s hard to understand why God tests us the way He does.

After all, we are only human.

It’s hard to remain grounded on a bumpy road.

After all, we are only human.

It’s hard to constantly be forgiving when you’re hurting.

After all, we are only human.

It’s hard not to be concerned with all these worldly pleasures that surround us on a daily basis.

After all, we are only human.

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And yet I see these courageous believers.

I see their purity.

I see their transparency.

So, I wonder why I can’t just let go.

Why can’t I surrender completely to God, knowing full well He will hold me whether or not I’m falling?

Knowing full well He is my Savior and my protector whenever I will need Him.

Knowing full well He has shown me grace more times than I can count.

Knowing full well that whatever I say about Him is but a drop in an ocean of praises I can sing for Him.

Maybe I need to learn to trust God blindly just as they do, I need to understand that He is ample and always will be.

I need to let go and let God.