My husband and I have been dreaming about moving to an acreage for years. We made lists of “must-haves” and had countless conversations about what we’d like to do with more land. We complained about how small our current house is, about the busy street we live on, and the tiny yard. It seemed like life would be perfect if we just found an acreage. We have looked at several properties over the last couple of years, and four months ago we actually bought one.
But now I don’t want to move.
I think this is my reaction to any big transition in my life. The closer I get to any monumental change, the more I want things to just stay the same: the night before I left for an 8-week-long overseas missions trip when I was 16, the morning I had my first college class, and approaching my due dates with each of my three kids. (Mercifully, I did not feel this way before my wedding. God gave me a peace that day that passed my understanding!)
So now we are only days away from moving and I just want life to remain the same. I’m scared to leave this house and move to an unfamiliar house in a different part of our community. It would have been so much easier to just stay in our little home in town. We were happy here, and we have so many memories here! Why did we need to move?
My head knows all of the reasons why we are moving, but my heart is sad. When I look around our old house, I see a mosaic of memories. This was our first real home after getting married. We put blood, sweat, and tears into remodeling projects. This is where my sister was born (true story) and my sister-in-law got engaged. We celebrated my college graduation here and had countless family meals. This is where we brought our three babies home from the hospital. We’ve argued, laughed, cried, and rejoiced here. This house has been part of our family for seven years, and now we’re leaving.
Last week I read Psalm 143. David wrote, “I meditate on all that You have done; I ponder the work of Your hands.” When I look back on the last six months, from when we first looked at our new house to today, I do see God’s hand at work. The house and land fit our “must-have” list almost perfectly. He provided a buyer for our old house. We have friends and family surrounding us, helping us get ready to move. I truly believe this is His plan for our family.
“I meditate on all that You have done. . .” That is what will get me through this period of change. I think it will be really hard to pack everything up and leave my little house empty. I think I may even cry– which, for me, is really saying something! But I know God has been with us and will continue to lead us. It will be a big change for our family but I believe there are good things in store. C.S. Lewis said it best: “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”