So God Made a Mother is Here! 🎉

From the day we brought our babies home, we found immense love in fixing things for them. When they were crying, we fed or changed them. When they were cold, we swaddled them in plush blankets. When they fell and scraped their knees, we cleaned and bandaged the cuts. When they were tired, we carefully placed them into bed. When they were sick, we pumped them with liquids and warm soup. When friends were being mean, we talked about how to fix the situation. When they needed comfort from the world, we gave them our ears and our outstretched arms.

So much of being a mom is mending the hurts our children are facing.

Hunger, a cold, the harshness of other childrenwe are the fixers who change their circumstances in any way we can. We morph into a momma bear. It is what we have done from day one. What I recently discovered is why SO much of this COVID-19 pandemic hurts us moms is because we are 100 percent powerless in the pain our children are feeling and the circumstances they are facing.

Some of our children have had their freshmen year of college moved online. Their sports seasons have been canceled. Some children have gone back to reopened schools. Some kids have seen their school year move online. Other children are awaiting decisions on all these experiences. And we mothers are standing by, waiting too. We pensively watch the news, staying informed of local and national guidance. And we are unsure of what to do next. If a decision will be made. If it will change in a week.

RELATED: No, I Don’t Know What We’re Having For Dinner—I’m Just So Tired of Making Decisions

We cannot fix that their rite of passage into college is marred by this virus. We cannot change that the sports they love and have been spending months—even years—diligently practicing for are canceled. We cannot single-handedly modify the plans of school districts. We cannot alter any of the decisions that have been made. We also cannot make the powers that be render their judgments any faster.

What are we to do? We wait. Trapped in this helpless limbo.

Maybe hoping for one thing and sensing that another might be safer or better. All the while, striving to console our children and endeavoring to make sense of all these changes to them.

Whether you are explaining to a second-grader why she will not be going to school with her peers or struggling to tell a senior in high school why his football season is canceled, it is simultaneously heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and daunting.  

RELATED: This is the New Mental Load of Motherhood

Whether we can make sense of the whys in our heads, our hearts are still being tugged to fix this. What I have learned in navigating the upcoming school year for my own children is that we are all experiencing astonishing challenges and this season in life is one that cannot be fixed. There is not a Band-Aid large enough to heal the disappointments and hurt feelings our children are facing right now. And, while it may be painful to recognize, there is solace in accepting it.

When you face that you alone cannot make this pandemic vanish and the choices being made are above your far-reaching authority, you feel a brief bit of comfort and maybe a night that is not sleepless.

You realize your power is still where it has always been—within the walls of your home.

While this school year, college, and this sports season may look different than you anticipated, embrace that transformation—for your children and their sanity. Be their bright spots, their guiding lights in this dark storm.

RELATED: She’s Looking to Me to Set the Tone for Life Right Now

We do not have to pretend that these variances do not also wound us, but we do have to do what we have always done—find ways to help them heal. Maybe it comes in the form of taking what would have been game nights and organizing special nights for your family—including a movie or other activity. Maybe it comes in creating a special space to complete online classes. Maybe it comes in the shape of purchasing unique masks for school. Maybe it comes in carving out special days or activities for your family.

Or maybe, just maybe it comes in the form of doing what we mothers have been doing all along, lending our ears and our arms. Being there to listen to how your children are feeling. Being ready for the hurt. Letting them cry. Then opening those mom arms wide. Because, while there is not a Band-Aid big enough to extinguish their grief, our arms have always been vast enough to reach out, hold tight, and shelter them from the storm.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Amanda Drumm

Mom isn't the only three-letter word associated with me. I hold an MBA degree and have worked in communications for nearly 20 years. Another three-letter word (God) and my first baby inspired me to quit my full-time job to freelance and mother. Thank goodness for them (and lots of coffee)!

I Buried My Heart with My Baby but God Brought Me Back to Life

In: Faith, Grief, Loss, Motherhood
Woman in a sweater standing outside looking at sunset

Recently, my world felt as if it were crashing around me. I was so angry I think my rage could have burned a small village. Unfortunately, that rage was directed at God though I knew that wasn’t what I needed to be directing toward Him. He owed me nothing then, and He owes me nothing now; however, my heart was shattered, and for a while, it seemed as if my faith was crumbling with it. I stopped going to church. I stopped praying. I stopped all positive feelings and allowed myself to succumb to the pain and the anger. When...

Keep Reading

Dear New Mom, God Is Only a Whisper Away

In: Baby, Faith, Motherhood
New mother holding baby on couch, eyes closed

While we were waiting to adopt, I would wake up in the middle of the night panicky. My mind would wander to the thought of suddenly having a baby. With groggy eyes and a cobwebbed mind, I would ask myself, “Could I get up right now to go soothe a crying baby?” And then the insecurities would flood me as I thought through the difficulty of dragging myself out of bed to give milk to a fussy newborn. I didn’t know if I could.  With each application sent to agencies and social workers, the possibility of adopting a baby became more...

Keep Reading

Look beyond the Labels for What You Don’t See

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three kids sitting on parents' laps smiling

I’ve always said that labeling someone with high- or low-functioning autism, or any disability for that matter, isn’t ever truly accurate. You may see an extremely smart girl who seems “normal” but you don’t see everything. You don’t see how the noises hurt her ears. You don’t see how the bright lights hurt her eyes. You don’t see how hard she struggles to fit in. You don’t see how she struggles to understand the social cues. You don’t see how seriously she takes what you say even if you’re joking. You don’t see the struggles when she’s having an overwhelming...

Keep Reading

And We Rocked

In: Motherhood
Black and white photo of a baby sleeping

My belly had grown and stretched to make room for you. I simply couldn’t wait to see your little face. I sat in your nursery, which was nearly complete, and whispered all the thoughts, fears, and feelings that filled my mind. You kicked in response as if to remind me we were in this together. And we rocked. Everyone told me that babies sleep a lot. But not you. It was as if you didn’t want to miss one moment of this big, beautiful life. I was to my bones tired. You refused to sleep. We continued this merry-go-round where...

Keep Reading

Did I Make Caring for You My Idol?

In: Motherhood
Little boy sitting in lawn chair, color photo

When my disabled son, Lucas, was an adorable little boy, I thought (and declared loudly!) that as long as I was alive and well, I would care for him. I was his mother and no one could ever provide for him as I would. And I completely believed this up until about five years ago. It started with puberty as Lucas blossomed into manhood, shedding his adorableness, and my mental and physical health deteriorated as he grew larger and stronger and became aggressive at times. I whispered to my husband, late at night with tears streaming down my face after...

Keep Reading

When You Look Back on These Pictures, I Hope You Feel My Love

In: Kids, Motherhood
Four kids playing in snow, color photo

I document your life in pictures. I do it for you. I do it for me. I do it because I want you to know I lived every memory. And loved every moment. When you go back through the thousands of moments, I hope it sparks something deep inside of you. Something that perhaps your heart and mind had forgotten until that moment. And I hope that it makes you smile.  I hope the memories flood and you remember how much each moment was cherished.  I hope each giggle and secret that was shared with your sisters at that moment sparks...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Teens Sometimes Make the Best Adults

In: Motherhood, Teen
Collage of mom with teens, color photo

Hi, friends. Former middle school and high school teacher here, checking in. Can I let you in on a little something I learned as a secondary teacher? Here it is . . . sometimes the kids who really struggle as teens turn out to be the most amazing adults. Yep. Really. I’ve seen it so many times I felt compelled to share. One student I knew was constantly in trouble and getting me in trouble because I always stuck up for him. (And I don’t regret it.) He played jokes on teachers, gave substitutes a run for their money, left...

Keep Reading

For the Parents of the Kids Who Don’t Fit the Mold

In: Kids, Motherhood
mom hugging her daughter

This one is for the parents of the kids who don’t fit the mold. I see you holding your kid together with nothing but love and a prayer as they cry or feel defeated and you wish the world would see your kid like you do. I see you wiping away their tears after they were yet again passed over for all the awards and accolades. There is no award for showing up for school despite crippling anxiety or remembering to write down assignments for the first year ever. So they had to sit clapping again for friends whose accomplishments...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, You Gave Me Purpose

In: Faith, Motherhood
Mother holding baby, color photo

Dear daughter, Before God knit you in my womb, I was wandering around aimlessly, searching for a purpose. I had changed my mind several times about what I wanted to do with my life. I felt so much pressure to figure out what I truly wanted. I rushed into career ideas, only to realize I wanted absolutely nothing to do with any of them. I started grad school, only to quit in three weeks. I was crushed and defeated. I begged God to show me His plan, to give me a purpose. I begged Him to give me something I...

Keep Reading

When Mom Gets a Migraine Life Must Still Go On

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother has a headache, sitting on the couch with kids running around in blur

I can’t tell the story of paramedics from the angle from which they see things, but I can tell it from the angle of the person looking up at them—the one lying in the medically-equipped vehicle with lights flashing and siren audible. There are some lessons in life we learn by blindside—we are thrust into them. That was me that May day in the ambulance.  I had known about migraines; I had decades of first-hand experience with them. I knew vision could be temporarily taken. I have operated countless days with an invisible hammer continuously beating one side of my...

Keep Reading