When I was pregnant with my son, everyone would tell me, “It goes so fast!” and I would just nod and be like, “Yeah, I know.” and I really thought I did know.
Now I’ve had this little boy in my arms for three months, and I realize I really did not know what they meant. It seems like one day he was born and just slept constantly and the next he is smiling and babbling and holding up his head. WHERE DID THE LAST THREE MONTHS GO?!
I find myself feeling burdened by my lack of control of time and it’s inevitable effects on my innocent baby. There are days where I cry because he is growing and changing so fast that I feel like I can’t keep up and it deeply saddens me. As much as I anticipate the many milestones to come, I can’t help but mourn the last three months and all they contained. I feel like they were a whirlwind. I’m so afraid of forgetting them and the precious moments wrapped up in each day.
I’m afraid of forgetting the squeals he let out when he was trying so hard to laugh but wasn’t quite sure how.
I’m afraid of forgetting the feelings of his whole baby body relaxing and being at peace as he begins to nurse and is comforted by just being close to me.
I’m afraid of forgetting the feeling of his tiny hand on my chest as he sleeps so peacefully.
I’m afraid of forgetting the way his eyes light up when he sees Daddy is home from work.
I’m afraid of forgetting the sweet face he makes when he’s finished nursing and fallen asleep.
I’m afraid of forgetting the little sigh of surprise and annoyance he makes after he sneezes three times in a row.
I’m afraid of forgetting the little smiles cast my way through sleepy eyes between night feedings.
I’m afraid of forgetting the feeling of his little body against my chest as I hold him close and wish I never had to let go.
There are so many things, big and small, that I wish I could hold onto and relive as often as I’d like. I beg time, “Don’t let me forget!“
The truth is, time will continue to pass and we will never get it back. I’m sure there are times when we wish it would pass faster, like during sleep regression and teething. However, I know when we look back, we would go through the hard times all over again if we could have the good ones back. Because although being a mom isn’t the easiest job, the good moments make the hard ones more than worth it, and, if we’re honest, there is far more good in this role of motherhood than bad.
More often than not, we wish time would slow down so we can enjoy these sweet moments just a little bit longer. We wish the newborn stage was longer than three months or that our baby wouldn’t start walking so soon or get big so fast. Honestly, even if the newborn phase was six months instead of three or babies didn’t start walking until five, we would still want it to be slower. We would still mourn the time that’s passed because no matter if it’s one month or 10, these moments we have with our kids are precious and deserve to be cherished.
While I am part of the majority of moms who wish time would slow down, I also see a danger in it. We can spend so much time looking at old pictures or reminiscing on what our kids used to do that we miss what is happening right here and now in this present moment. Let’s not let mourning the past invade our present and rob us of our future. Let’s use it to fuel us and motivate us to put away distractions and say “no” to the busyness of life and really invest ourselves fully in enjoying our kids while we have them.
Yes, time goes too fast. Today will never come again. Your kids will never be the exact same as they are today. But don’t miss today by mourning yesterday or fearing tomorrow. Invest all of you in them today.
Read one more book.
Sing “Baby Shark” for the umpteenth time.
Hold them as long as they’ll let you.
You won’t regret it.
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