Dear daughter,
I hope your first real love writes you letters. I’m talking real, handwritten, spills-his-guts letters.
I hope you keep them. I hope your first real love thinks he will love you forever, I hope you believe the same.
I hope you love each other with reckless abandon. I hope when you see him your heart nearly stops and you feel like you’re exactly where you belong.
I hope it’s unfiltered and sometimes messy because you both just feel too much.
I hope your first real love is constructed of the things I will likely scoff at and your father will likely try to get in the way of.
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I hope when that time comes, I can remember to give you the space you need to experience love in all its awkward, splendid wonder.
I hope your first love is made of full-hearted confessions, late-night phone calls, and full belly laughs. I hope you love him without holding back.
I hope you feel as though you could never spend a moment away from him.
My daughter, I hope you love him wildly, and he looks at you as though you hung the moon yourself because that love is once in a lifetime.
The truth is that he likely won’t stay your person forever though.
This same boy who will illuminate your spirit is likely to be the cause of your first, real broken heart. This will hurt in ways you may not have known you could hurt.
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When this time comes, you likely won’t believe I could possibly understand.
I will. My first love had me crying on my bedroom floor listening to Alanis Morissette feeling like I would never function again.
Your grandma graciously gave me the “there’s other fish in the sea” bit. I promise you, honey, I won’t. The truth is there are other fish. You, darling, will love again and be loved again, but I would be lying if I promised it would be the same.
Your final love may be better in many ways, but it will not be exactly the same.
When you are young, love is magical uncharted territory, you love different. As you grow up you learn to love with logic and reason—that love is mature love.
You will feel butterflies and wonder, but it is courageous, not brave. All of this is important to know. Bravery is doing something without any fear; courage is knowing the fear and doing it anyway.
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There may come a time in life when you need to remember what it felt like to be brave and free, and there are few things in life as freeing as utterly and completely allowing yourself to be swallowed up by love for the first time, brave and unafraid.
So love wildly.
Who knows? Maybe your first real love will be your last real love. Either way, love like it will be and keep the letters.