Dear husband, 

I know this is a busy season for you. I see how hard you’re working. And I know you come home exhausted every night. I know you’d be here earlier—and more often—if you could. But you can’t. Because this is your busy season. 

And there are a few things I need you to know. 

This is hard for me too. Even on normal days, I’m on call 24/7 for the kids, but now, I don’t have you at home as backup. The needing never stops, and I no longer have you to share it with. I can’t say, “Go ask your dad” because he’s not around to ask. So when you are home, even if just for a bit, don’t be surprised if that becomes my go-to phrase. I’m just tired of making all the decisions and plans right now. I’m tired of giving all the answers. 

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I miss you. Not just your help, but your presence. Your smile. Your ability to make me smile when it’s been a long day and I want to cry. I miss having a conversation with you—more than a quick rundown of the next day’s plans before we both fall into bed exhausted. I miss you standing next to me in the kitchen, retelling your day as I finish up supper. I just miss being with you. 

I’m a little jealous. I know that sounds stupid, to be jealous of you working these long hours. But leaving this house and the chaos inside sounds kind of appealing. Doing work that doesn’t involve changing diapers, cooking meals, handing out snacks, dragging kids here and there—it sort of sounds wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re working hard, and it’s not like you’re on vacation, and I’m guessing you wouldn’t mind a job swap at least for a couple of hours too. I guess it feels like the grass is greener on the other side, and I want to sink my bare toes into it—without kids stepping on them—for just a few minutes. 

I pray for you. I pray for your safety, always asking God to bring you back home to us. I pray for your energy because I know you’re tired too. I pray you know how grateful I am that you do this work. Your hard work and these long hours are a big part of the reason I’m able to stay home, both in this busy season and those when you’re able to be home with me, with us, more often. I pray you would be filled with purpose and passion during this busy season, knowing that God created you for this work and that He will sustain you through it. 

We parent differently. We’re on the same team, but sometimes it feels like we’re running different plays. When I’m here with the kids, we develop a rhythm—they know my expectations and I know their moods. And when you jump back in to help with the parenting and discipline (which I do appreciate), it can feel like things are a little off. Like suddenly the beat has switched, and we all need to adjust to the different rhythm you bring back in. And you need to know that sometimes, I’ve let a few things slide that I normally wouldn’t, but at the end of the day, I only have so much energy left, and I have to choose how to use it. 

We love you and want to enjoy the limited time we have together during this season. I know when you walk in the door, you’re exhausted and likely craving some downtime, but these kids . . .  they’re craving you. And not the go do your chores, help your mom, hurry up and get to bed you. But the give me a hug, throw the ball for a few minutes, tickle me until I cry you. I know you have a limited amount of energy, and I’m just hoping you’ll be able to save some of the good stuff for us. 

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This won’t last forever. It feels like it will. These days are long and our time with you is short. But it will end. We’ll get our family time back, we’ll find our groove again, and this busy season will be behind us. Until then, I hope you know I love you. I’m here for you. And I’m trying to give you what I can right now . . . even if it’s the leftovers, like those I set aside for you night after night. 

One last thing, dear husband, when this busy season is over, do you think we can schedule some time together, just me and you? We’ve got some catching up to do. 

Love, 
Your tired and grateful wife