Trigger warning: This post discusses suicide.
I’ve called 988 before.
It was actually a month ago, and it was my first time ever calling.
I struggle with suicidal ideations, and thoughts like that have been around me for as long as I can remember anything.
I struggle with suicidal ideations, but I don’t have the intention of carrying out anything. Having thoughts like that is exhausting to have.
There’s only been one period of time when I seriously considered ending my life, and that was when I was 13 years old. I was in eighth grade. I didn’t carry out the plan.
RELATED: My Suicide Note: This Is Teenage Depression
I’m 29 now, and a lot has happened since then.
A lot has happened since then, but I would be lying if I said those thoughts just went away.
I called 988 for the first time a month ago. Things felt so heavy, and I sat on the bathroom floor, hyperventilating.
The world got dark, and I felt like I could barely breathe.
The thoughts had really gotten a hold of me, and I just needed to talk to somebody.
I didn’t know who to call. I didn’t want to bother anyone.
So I called.
The person stayed on the phone with me for 1 hour, 9 minutes, and 2 seconds.
I felt pathetic calling, but the person told me how brave it was for me to call.
RELATED: Depression Is a Battle That Can’t Be Fought Alone
They were there to help, and I didn’t have to fight through the thoughts alone.
After 1 hour, 9 minutes, and 2 seconds, I was able to come out of it.
The world had light again, and I felt like I could breathe.
We don’t need to go through these wars alone.
I’m a person who has called 988 before, and I share because we don’t have to go through these wars alone.
Originally published on the author’s Instagram page