Dear Husband, Sometimes I’m Drowning and I Can’t Ask For Your Help, But I Need It

All three of the kids haven’t been feeling well since Monday, but Wednesday was when the fit really hit the shan with fevers, body aches, and horrible coughs. And when the kids are clingy, nobody sleeps, everyone is grumpy, and everything else around the house basically gets forgotten about unless it’s absolutely necessary. I know if you’re reading this that you know exactly what I’m talking about. Just the mental load of everyone being sick is enough to send you over the edge.

My oldest daughter and I were coming home from yet another doctor’s appointment yesterday, and before I even opened the door, my mind was already racing with everything that I needed to do once I walked in, because I knew I had left it looking like a bomb had gone off. There was a sink full of dishes, the floors were disgusting and needed to be swept, my counters were still full of who knows what from the day before, and I’m pretty sure the front room floor wasn’t visible from all of the toys, blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals. To put it lightly, I was dreading walking back into the house. My anxiety was through the roof.

But that was when I opened the door and walked in.

As I walked down the hallway, I heard the familiar tune of one of my favorite worship songs and smelled the even more familiar smell of coffee. As I walked further on and into the living room, I began to cry as everything had been picked up. I mean everything. The throw blankets had been folded and laid on the couch, all of the toys and blankets were back where they belonged and the carpet had been vacuumed. I turned into the kitchen to find it spotless. The dishes had been done, the dishwasher unloaded, the countertops cleaned, and the centerpiece for my table in its rightful place. A new pot of coffee brewed, my favorite Pandora station on.

As I stood there dumbfounded, I took a deep breath in, and the weight of the last week fell from my shoulders. Because my husband intentionally took the time to take it from me. And it left me completely undone.

Our marriage doesn’t always look like this. We have had to work hard at being able to recognize when the other needs something and learn to be humble enough to ask for the help when we need it. Even this year, we have had to have some hard conversations in learning how to help one another better and serve one another with glad hearts. Especially for me with my depression and anxiety.

Husbands, one of the greatest gifts you can ever give your wives is your intentional service.

Not out of obligation, but the fact that you see she is struggling and needs help and you step in without her asking. The last thing that we want to have to do is to have to ask for help when we are already drowning. But for you to see us below the choppy waters and tread the storm with us? There is no greater model of your love for us that that. It means more to us than you will ever know.

This post originally appeared on From Blacktop to Dirt Road