Dear New Mom Me, Try to Relax

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

As our oldest child’s birthday nears closer I find myself looking back at pictures from her birth. I see the young, new mom in the pictures who is madly in love with the little baby in her arms. That mom has no idea what is in store for her in motherhood.

I have only been a mom for about six years. In many, many regards I am still a rookie at this. There are many parts of mothering I have yet to experience. But even rookies can gain wisdom through experience, especially with three kids.

Looking back over the past six years, I wish I could relive many of the memories. And there are a few things I wish I could tell myself back then. Things about lessons I have learned, or things I wished I had done differently.

If I could write a letter to myself as a new mom, this is what I would say:

Let her sleep on you more. There is so much about getting kids to sleep in their own cribs and sleeping through the night. And one day they will. One day they won’t be little babies who sleep on your chest. So let the babies sleep on you as long as possible.

Hold them as much as possible. Our daughter has finally reached the age where I cannot hold her and pack her around like when she was a toddler. Part of me mourns this time, while the other part loves that she walks with me hand-in-hand.

Relax. I can remember Googling just about everything as a new parent. I worried and worried and worried about everything. I am still prone to worrying. But if I could go back, I would tell myself not to worry about every little thing. Someone else is in command and He is far greater than I am.

Do it how you want, not how you think it should be done. There seem to be many “right” ways to parent. But I have come to believe when it comes to many parts of parenting, the only right way is what is right for you. If I could tell myself back then not to worry about doing everything “right” I would. I would tell myself to find what works for us and go with it, regardless of whether our friends or family did it that way, or that’s what the book said to do. Don’t allow anyone make you feel like a bad mom or that you are doing something wrong.

It will get better. I didn’t think anything could top the adorable words, the toddling around, or the baby giggles. And those things are beyond special. But the love and fun will only magnify as they grow. New stages and new seasons will bring new joys and memories.

Take it all in. Write things down. Take lots of pictures. One day they will be treasured reminders of the special and seemingly mundane times.

Your to-do list will never get done. Just be OK with that. There will always be dishes and laundry and vacuuming and organizing to do. But the kids won’t be little for long. Put them at the top of your to-do list.

Learn to love your kid’s cry. Let’s be honest here, you’re going to hear them cry A LOT. Find a way to love it.

It’s OK not to enjoy every moment. I try so hard to enjoy every minute of the time our kids are young, but in all honestly, there are just times when it is plain hard, overwhelming, boring, exhausting, and not fun. Some days are pretty much just survival mode. And that’s OK. There are plenty of days that are full of laughter and joy. Enjoy the fun times, and power through the hard times.

It’s OK not to be a super mom or a perfectionist. You can’t do it all. And you’re not supposed to do it all.

You are doing a great job. There will be many, many moments where you feel like a failure. The days where you are tired and grumpy, the weeks when you serve Mac ‘n Cheese a few too many times, and when your kids develop a collection of Happy Meal toys that is too big. But your love and care for these kids day after day, week after week, and year after year is what matters. Don’t allow the days of feeling like a failure overrule the days of joy.

Love and prayers,
Future you

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Emily Scott

Emily Scott, PhD, is a stay at home mom of three, and part time parenting consultant and blogger who has written and spoken on various parenting topics including child development, ACEs, and tips on raising responsible kids.

These Moms on the Sidelines Became My People

In: Motherhood

Moms with arms around each other watching baseball

Spending hours on end on a ballfield on Mother’s Day may not sound ideal to most, but the ones who get it know that it’s about so much more than watching young kids play ball. It’s about the instant bonds you make with families who end up becoming like your own family. It’s being surrounded by people who cheer for your kid louder than you do yourself. It’s about being lucky enough to have a pack of moms who will care for your child in your absence and send you pics and videos of what you are missing when you...

Keep Reading

I Wanted Experts to Fix My Child with ADHD. Instead, They Changed Me.

In: Motherhood

Little boy sitting at table talking to adult

I thought the experts were going to fix my child. I didn’t say that out loud. But it was there…quiet, desperate, sitting underneath every question I asked. If I just found the right strategy… If I just understood ADHD well enough… If I just listened hard enough… Maybe the meltdowns would stop. Maybe the chaos would settle. Maybe I would finally feel like I knew what I was doing. So I started asking questions. Over the past year, I’ve had the opportunity to interview ADHD experts (clinicians, researchers, specialists) through my podcast. And I showed up to every conversation like...

Keep Reading

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

In: Motherhood

Some moments in motherhood stay with you. First steps. Preschool graduation. A first dance recital. And then there are harder times. The ones that do not make it into photo albums. The moments when the world feels too big and your child feels painfully misunderstood. When you are parenting a child with a disability, those moments tend to find you more often. This day should have felt like a win. My son had just met a goal in therapy. We walked out of his OT’s office smiling, carrying a page full of lopsided circles that had never looked more perfect...

Keep Reading

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

In: Motherhood

I don’t think people truly believe me when I say I came back from the depths of hell after having my son. Birth is often portrayed as pure bliss. The moment a mother holds her baby and instantly falls in love. Life quickly returns to normal. Even in real life, new moms can look like they’ve settled into motherhood with ease. But what no one talks about is the ugly, incredibly hard side of it. Not every mom experiences postpartum depression, anxiety, or OCD. For some, it really is bliss. But for many of us, it becomes a fight for...

Keep Reading

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

In: Motherhood

Little boy playing with toys on the floor alone

There is a moment nobody warns you about. Not the sleepless nights. Not the feeding schedules. Not the endless cycle of laundry and worry that comes with keeping a tiny human alive. Those parts everyone mentions. The part nobody mentions is the moment you realize your child has started becoming his own person. And you are standing there watching it happen, equal parts proud and completely unprepared. My son is two years old. And lately he has been leaving the room. Not in a concerning way. In a he has somewhere to be kind of way. He will be in...

Keep Reading

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

In: Motherhood

I remember the exact moment it hit me. I was talking to a young girl, the kind everyone praises. She was polite, well spoken, respectful. The kind of girl people point to and say, “She’s so confident.” So I asked her a question I knew would reveal more than her smile ever could: “What do you do when something doesn’t feel right?” She froze. Not in a dramatic way, but in a quiet, almost invisible way. She looked down, shifted her weight, then looked back up at me, searching my face like the answer might be written there. Because she...

Keep Reading

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

In: Motherhood

After the traumatic birth of my daughter, I searched for others who had experienced vasa previa, but most of what I found were support groups for stillbirth. It’s easy to understand why; vasa previa is one of the most preventable causes of stillbirth, and yet most people, including most pregnant women, have never heard of it. My daughter is almost three years old, and I still carry a complicated guilt about that: why did we get to be the lucky ones? I want to share my story—not to frighten you, but because awareness is the only thing that saves lives...

Keep Reading

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

In: Motherhood

For most of my life, I believed becoming a stay-at-home mom wasn’t just a choice, it was the ultimate goal. The kind of life a “good” woman was meant to want. The kind of life that meant you were doing things right. I grew up surrounded by that message. In conservative spaces, in church circles, in subtle conversations about what a “real” mother looked like. Women who stayed home were praised. Women who didn’t were quietly questioned. I learned, without ever being directly told, that a mother’s highest purpose was to center her entire world around her children and her...

Keep Reading

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

In: Motherhood, Teen

I was not prepared to be a mother of teenagers. Sure, I was warned by other parents about the difficult journey I was about to embark on, but I did not expect it to be this challenging. I remember these two sweet, innocent children who wanted to be with me all the time. Now they barely give me the time of day. How did we get here? Like many parents, we long to have that child who once, a long time ago, called us Mommy and Daddy and begged us to read them another story. Where are those kids I...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise. From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

To the Wounded Wife, Staying Doesn't Make You Weak

Journal

To the Wounded Wife, Staying Doesn't Make You Weak

My Kids Said They Were Bored, So We Made This Life-Changing List

Kids

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Emily Scott

These Moms on the Sidelines Became My People

I Wanted Experts to Fix My Child with ADHD. Instead, They Changed Me.

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Dear New Mom Me, Try to Relax

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

These Moms on the Sidelines Became My People

I Wanted Experts to Fix My Child with ADHD. Instead, They Changed Me.

Parenting a Child with a Disability Is Holy Ground

I Came Home With a Baby—and Lost Myself

He Doesn’t Always Need Me Anymore and I’m Not Sure How To Feel About It

We Keep Calling Her Confident, But She Doesn’t Trust Herself

I Knew Something Was Wrong, But No One Listened—And It Almost Cost Me My Daughter

I Finally Admitted I Didn’t Want To Be a SAHM Anymore

I’m Not Really Sure How To Do This Teenager Thing

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like