Before my son was born, I had it all planned out. I would continue working from home and growing my freelance business while simultaneously raising a tiny human and being present for all of his milestones. He would nap on a schedule and play with his toys when I needed to work. Then I would morph into super mom mode to be everything he needed when I wasn’t working. My husband and I had multiple conversations about what our days would look like and I just knew I could have the best of both worlds.
I was wrong. Being a work-from-home mom looks nothing like I imagined.
Honestly, I’ve already had to take three breaks and have been working over a span of four hours just to write this far. And there’s a really good chance that I’m breastfeeding my son as I type. All of those plans my husband and I discussed so diligently while I was pregnant have gone out the window. My life looks completely different from what I planned.
But you know what? That’s OK!
Work-from-home moms like myself often feel a little left out of the standard mom categories. Even though we are at home, we don’t fully fit in the stay-at-home group because we have deadlines and work hours that have to get done. And even though we work, we technically are home all day and have no idea about the struggles of getting everyone out the door to daycare. We’re a breed of our own, and truthfully that can feel isolating. So to my fellow work-from-home mamas: I see you.
When you’ve been working on the same project for an entire day, yet have barely accomplished anything because the baby has been extra needy, I see you.
When you have to choose between work or cleaning the house during the one nap time you’ll get today, I see you.
When you feel the guilt that comes with having the computer open while the baby is awake, I see you.
When you wish for just one day that you could be 100% focused on your work, I see you.
When you wish for just one day that you could be 100 percent focused on the baby, I see you.
When you choose to delay that project just a bit more because the baby is growing up too fast and you just want to hold him a little longer, I see you.
When you spend all day in your pajamas because the only free time you have is spent on work rather than showering, I see you.
When you feel alone because your friends have gone back to work after maternity leave, I see you.
When no one understands why you had to miss playgroup again this week because you’re home all day, I see you.
When you’re up late into the night getting work done while the baby is sleeping, I see you.
The truth is, no matter what we choose, this motherhood gig is hard. It’s hard to rush out the door and leave your baby each day to go to work. It’s hard to stay home and be immersed in the world of little people who run the day. And it’s hard to try to find a balance to do both.
We’re all doing the best we can, mama.And if we really think about it, we already have the best of everything. For me it’s the 17 pounds snuggled in my lap while I type.
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