When I married my husband, I could not imagine a life without him in it. We met at such a young age, and essentially, we grew up together. We molded one another and connected on such a deep level. With such a deep love, we decided the next step in life would be to get married and start a family. We wanted to create a life where we could watch our children grow, and we could grow old together.
Before having children, I don’t think anyone is prepared for the overwhelming love you experience for your child. You never realize how hard it may be to find a balance with your significant other. You’re not prepared for the stress and toll parenting can take on your relationship if you don’t work hard at it.
Ultimately, we did not make it.
My heart was broken. My world came crashing down, but I would not give up. I had children to be strong for. I just needed to shift my focus on supporting my children financially and supporting them emotionally through this tough journey they did not ask for. Up until this point, my husband had made most of our income. I did not want to have to work multiple jobs and not be around to care for and make memories with my children. Their lives were changing so much, and I wasn’t willing to be absent.
My husband and I got a legal separation and one year later, we divorced. The kids were hurt but resilient. My now ex-husband and I could not see eye to eye on things, and we stopped communicating as much as we possibly could. Things were tense.
After a couple of years, my ex-husband and I forgave one another. We sat down and apologized for any stress we caused one another. A huge weight was lifted for all involved. There was a huge sense of relief. We started talking about how amazing our children were. We started to discuss problems the kids may have been going through. We were able to laugh and share.
Fast forward to today . . . and my ex-husband and I are best friends.
We can talk about anything. We co-parent and respect each other’s decisions. He is the person in my life who encourages me to shoot for my dreams. I can honestly say our friendship and support for one another make me far happier and more fulfilled than our marriage did.
My children are more comfortable with the way our relationship is now, and it is so fun for me to share stories about their loving dad. This relationship works well for us. Divorce does not mean you need to work against one another. With some forgiveness and time, a lot of positive changes can happen.