It would be easier to never say no to you. I could always be the yes mom. I could always be the cool mom.

Yes, you can eat all that candy.

Yes, you can stay up late. 

Yes, you can have a phone. 

Yes, you can use it whenever.

Yes, you can download that app.

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Yes, you can listen to that song.

Yes, you can watch that movie.

Yes, you can play that video game. 

Yes, you can hang out with that crowd. 

It would make you so happy. 

It would make me so cool. 

It would be so easy. Reduce tension. Minimize argument. I could just say, “Whatever,” and be blissfully unaware of the unintended consequences of my neglect. 

But sometimes, I’ll have to say no. I’ll have to disappoint you. I’ll have to make you feel like I’m “uncool” or letting you down. I’ll have to make you feel like you’re the “only one” who isn’t allowed even though “everyone else is doing it.”

But I’m going to hold space for you until you understand. And I’m going to hold the line for you even if that makes me the bad guy. 

I’m happy to talk about why. I’m happy to listen to your point of view. I’m happy to engage in respectful conversation about it. I’m happy to adjust if I misunderstood or am in the wrong. 

Even though it takes more time, work, and effort for me, I’m always going to want to do what’s best for you. 

And there are some things I’ll say yes to. 

I’ll try to say it as often as I can. 

I’ll say yes to whatever is life-giving because there is so much that’s true, good, and beautiful in this world that you can experience and explore.

I’ll say yes to helping you become wise and discerning. 

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I’ll say yes to helping you think deeply about the things you put into your mind, body, and soul. 

I’ll say yes to helping you grow into a healthy and happy adult. 

I’ll do what my parents did for me. 

I didn’t like that they said no and that I sometimes felt like the only one who wasn’t allowed. 

I didn’t understand them then. But I sure do now. 

I wasn’t grateful for it then. But I sure am now.

And I think maybe, just maybe, you’ll someday understand and be thankful, too.