We don’t have to agree on everything to be friends.

Yep. I said it.

This is hard for us to wrap our heads around at times because we’re all insecure.

Yep. Every single one of us.

Even the ones who come off confident and are the life of the party.

Yep. That guy chugging beers and fist-bumping everyone in sight is insecure too.

And we think our secular friends want secular us.

While our religious friends prefer religious us.

Our strict parenting friends want to see us disciplining.

While our more lenient parenting friends, want us to whip out our co-sleeping habits.

I see many insecure people who change their opinions around different people and are afraid to show parts of themselves that don’t exactly align.

I see the mom fidgeting as her friend asks her thoughts about school in the fall. I can tell she’s deciding what she’s going to say because she’s leaning toward the unpopular opinion of homeschooling . . . 

Instead, she goes with her friend’s opinion.

RELATED: Make Room For Mom Friends in Your Life, You Need Them More Than You Know

I see the mom pretending that she loves every minute home with her kids during COVID when she’s actually drowning. When her friend says, “Isn’t homeschooling the best thing?” She almost chokes on her water, because what the what?

But, she goes with her friend’s opinion.

And I’ve been guilty of this, too. I have a mom friend who’s against iPads. When her family came over for dinner, I used to make them off-limits to my children. But then one day, my kids were acting crazy, and I was desperate to calm the surrounding chaos, so I gave in, and . . . 

It was no big deal.

Yep. Our friendship survived it!

Because she likes me even though we have different parenting styles.

Guys, we need to learn our worth.

Because whatever we do, someone will be disappointed and not agree with us.

But if they’re true friends, they’ll like what we bring to the table.

They’ll respect our views and love us for them.

RELATED: Why Are Moms the Only Ones Not Allowed To Complain?

Because those things that make us different are what makes us, us.

And if not, that friendship wasn’t meant to be.

So, we definitely don’t have to agree on everything to be friends.

In fact, I prefer we don’t. 

Originally published on Facebook

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Dani Sherman-Lazar

Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate, Vice President of a transportation company, and a mother to three daughters. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED and like it on Facebook. Her book Living Full: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorders is available on Amazon.

I’m Thankful for the Community We’ve Found

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Community on street having a picnic

It was the end of the school holidays, and the return to school after Christmas was looming. The children had had two weeks at home. The general sense of routine was lost for the boys, with late nights and relaxing days watching YouTube while playing their Switch. I was eager for routine to make a reappearance through school. As we headed into the weekend before the start of school, Josh had a cough and then a fever, and it became clear this would not be the week I had envisioned. By Monday morning the boys appeared more lethargic than usual,...

Keep Reading

Invite People Over, It’s Always Worth It

In: Friendship, Living
Family greeting friends on front steps of house

I meticulously vacuumed and mopped, water streaks practically mocking me with the contrast of dirty to clean. Tending to the floors was always my least favorite chore, but now that people were coming over, it was a necessity I couldn’t ignore. I obsessively worried that crumbs would stick to guest’s feet during dinner and that thought alone sent me into round three of detecting those that were camouflaged. When the new couple arrived, I was relieved they were wearing socks. I had set the table with extra linens and placemats to which my perplexed children inquired, “What are these?” as...

Keep Reading

Find True Friends and Hold on Tight

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Friends walking away with arms linked

I’m a mother of two young boys, ages three years old and three months old. Since the recent birth of my youngest son, I’ve transitioned from therapist and social worker in the workplace to stay-at-home mom. I’ve come to realize I’m no expert on parenting and there are many things I’m uncertain of as a mother, but there is one thing that I’m completely sure of . . . we all need the real mom friends in our lives. The real mom friends are the ones who show up authentically for you in your life and provide you with the...

Keep Reading

I’m the Friend Who Flakes Out Sometimes—Thanks for Loving Me Anyway

In: Friendship, Living
Group of women on beach, color photo

I recently read a quote that said, “Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.” It resonated. Not because I don’t love my friends. I do. Fiercely. Wholeheartedly. But, I’m that friend. You know the one . . . the last commit, the first to leave. The one who chooses option C when everyone else chooses options A or B. The one who doesn’t initiate the plans. And struggles to show up to the ones that are made even though they are with the people closest to my heart. The one who politely declines opportunities for reasons that are sometimes driven solely...

Keep Reading

Here’s to the Friends Who Don’t Hide Their Messy Parts

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Two women sit in a field with arms around each other

To the friend who invited me over without picking her house up beforehand . . . thank you.  You had no way of knowing, but I’ve been especially weighed down by the feeling of “I can’t keep up” lately—and when I walked into your beautiful home and saw dishes in the sink and laundry scattered here and there, I let out the deepest exhale I didn’t even realize I was holding in.  Because seeing your mess? Your less-than-perfect? It didn’t make me think any differently of you, but it did allow me to give myself the grace I desperately needed....

Keep Reading

I Didn’t Know How Much I Needed Other Mothers

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Two mom friends smiling at each other

I read somewhere the other day that when a child is born, a parent is too. In my first few months being a mother, I’m learning just how odd that sentiment is. In an instant, I became someone new. Not only that, but I became part of a group I didn’t realize existed. That sounds wrong. Of course, mothers existed. But this community of mothers? I had no idea. It took us a long time to get where we are today. Throughout our journey with infertility, I knew in my heart I was meant to be a mother. I knew that...

Keep Reading

Please Don’t Tell a Couple Trying to Conceive to Just Relax

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Black-and-white photo of medical supplies

This is a plea. A plea to those who know someone who is struggling with infertility. So, if you’re reading this, this is directed right to you. Please, for the love of everything, when someone tells you they are struggling to conceive, do not tell them to “just relax.” I know it’s the cliche, default term most blurt out because they don’t know what else to say. It’s awkward to discuss for some. I’m 10000% positive it is coming from a good place and is meant to be calming and reassuring, and you really do believe it’s true because a...

Keep Reading

That Mom at the Playground Could Become Your Best Friend

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Young mother sitting on bench looking at playground

I didn’t realize I was that mom at the playground. That mom who always smiles at the other moms even if she doesn’t know them. That mom who often makes small talk while she pushes her toddler on the swings. That mom who strikes up a conversation while sitting on the bench watching her older kid play. That mom who can often tell whether you are interested in talking to her or not. And if you don’t seem interested, that’s okay. Because maybe you’re preoccupied with other things going on in your life right now. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with the...

Keep Reading

Mean Girls Aren’t Like the Ones You See In Movies

In: Friendship
Woman whispering in another woman's ear

Mean girls aren’t like Regina George. If they were, it would be easy to know to stay away from them. Not all mean girls are wealthy, image-conscious, stick-thin blondes. They also don’t always have the reputation of being “mean girls.” The problem is that mean girls are way worse than Regina George because they don’t look like mean girls. Mean girls can be your “friends.” Mean girls know how to gain and betray your trust. They are the girls who, on a rough day, ask you what’s going on not because they care about you, but so they can have...

Keep Reading

To the Mom in the Trenches, I’ll Come Back for You

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mother sitting on bed holding one twin while the other crawls nearby, black-and-white photo

Your hair is in a messy bun for the sixth day in a row. You’re trudging to work sniffling because with all the germs your kids bring home from daycare, you just can’t seem to recover. You haven’t had a date night in four months, or has it been five? You stare blankly across the table at your spouse, his lips are moving but your brain can’t quite compute what he’s saying because the baby was up at least 10 times last night. You are just so tired. On top of this, we add in holidays. A time of year...

Keep Reading