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I don’t remember the exact event. I can picture the location, the people, and around the time. I am sure it was the brain fog. I remember being excited. Casey and I had three babies under four. Cal was fresh, still in the carrier. I was a proud mama. Kids were invited. I had them dressed and still managed to take time to dress myself up, too.

I do remember it starting to unravel. They weren’t bad, but Caroline and Charlie were excited and then restless. Cal got fussy. His bottle satisfied . . . until it didn’t. The event was ending, and I knew our time to go had come. I was bouncing Cal and the other two were running around. I felt a little tension. We were on our way out and I heard it, “Bless her heart.”

Then the words that stung the most, it was something along the lines, “I would never want to be in her shoes.”

It was whispered, not meant for me to hear, and from a friend. Pity. My face was hot. We got home and I ran a sink bath for Cal. I let the warm water run over his tummy. The water washed away his fussiness, and I cooled too.

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I had chosen this lifethe kids and the fullness. I didn’t want pity.

I know I didn’t make it look easy, but even so, it was beautiful to me.

Motherhood is hard.

Loving them up sometimes looks like poop-filled diapers, sleepless nights, wrinkled clothes, crying babies, piles of laundry, chicken nuggets on the floorboard, and kids climbing.

It is messy.

But don’t ever feel sorry for us!

Motherhood is a blessing and children are a gift.

Somewhere under the hot cheeks that night, I knew it.

I was blessed.

I can spot it a mile awaythe sweet mama deep in the messiness.

I never feel sorry.

Sometimes, I just admire. Sometimes, I offer to bounce the baby.

But the older I get, the more I just want to let her know I see the hard and I feel the hard, but I also see the beauty.

I would be blessed to be in her shoes.

Let’s see the beauty in motherhood.

Let’s rejoice in the blessings.

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Let’s sympathize.

Let’s jump in to help.

But let us never pity!

Love them up! Love covers.

Originally published on the author’s Instagram page

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Connie Baxter

I'm Connie! My desire is to encourage other mamas as I love my family! I love being Casey's wife and mama to four precious kiddos! We are a work in progress! Our house is always loud and balls are usually flying. We have a basketball goal in our foyer! I love our house full of people! I love to cook and feed people! I am terrible at laundry and love afternoon naps! I love coffee and watching the kids play! I believe every day is a gift, and I want to make the most of every opportunity! My desire is to share out of the overflow of what Jesus is doing in my motherhood and our home! I want to share how I am learning, leading, and most of all loving in our home! I hope to show how others how I stay connected to Jesus, how I minister to my family, and how I seek to love big! I'm just a mom loving my family and hoping to spark other's desires to love earnestly in their own homes! My prayer is 2 Thessalonians 3:5- "May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." 

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