Church didn’t change me.

I have been in church my entire life. I don’t know what it’s like to spend a Sunday on the lake or sleeping in. But that didn’t change me.

I knew the words to Jesus Loves Me before I could talk. But that didn’t change me.

I’ve heard more sermons than rap songs. But that didn’t change me.

I’ve studied the Bible more than any other book. But that didn’t change me.

I’ve said “bless your heart” and “I’ll pray for you” to more people than I can count. But that didn’t change me.

I’ve been on mission trips and I’ve led others to Christ. But that didn’t change me.

I’ve spoken to groups of women and taught Bible studies. But that didn’t change me.

These were all things that steered my life, that impacted my decisions but none of them are responsible for the radical change in my heart. Those influences paved the path that helped me find my way back to Jesus when

I sat alone in the darkness wondering why my dad chose drugs instead of me. And that changed me.

I cried at the funeral of the “Dad” who did choose me and wondered why God took him home. And that changed me.

I held tightly to my husband on dark days when we didn’t know what would happen next. And that changed me.

I lifted my eyes to Heaven and asked God why bad things happen to good people. And that changed me.

I sought God in my hopelessness as a young mama who didn’t know how she could get it all done. And that changed me.

I asked God to be the author and perfecter of my life. And that changed me.

It was in my brokenness that God made me whole.

When I lost all ability to hold myself together, He became my sustainer.

When I desired more than my own plans, He directed my feet.

When I thought Christianity was just about outdated stories and a God who used to show up, He breathed new life into me.

When I realized that it’s not about being a church girl, it’s about being a Jesus girl, He set my heart on fire.

When I learned that my church family would become the hands and feet of Jesus, He gave me a love for His people.

When I learned that being saved was about service not about sitting, He showed me where the harvest was plenty.

Church didn’t change me but Jesus did.

He became real to me and the only thing I can think about is helping to make Him real to you.

“My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.” -Job 42:5

This post originally appeared on Sprinkles In My Closet with Jenn Kish

 

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Jennifer Kish

Jenn Kish is married to her high school sweetheart, Jared and together they are raising six (mostly) precious children. She loves to connect women to one another and most importantly to Jesus.