Your mammogram results are in. They were abnormal. We need further imaging . . .
There are some spots on your right breast. We think it’s probably just calcifications, but need to be sure . . .
These things are usually fine. It’s common for women to need to come back for additional testing. Don’t worry . . .
The hospital will be calling. If you don’t hear from them in a couple days, please call us back . . .
Hang up phone. Deep breaths. One. Two. Three. Breathe in. Breathe out. Steady now.
Is it OK? Really? They said it was probably OK. It has to be OK.
But what if it’s not?
These are the calls that have the potential to wreak havoc in our minds. I know because this is the call I received a couple of days ago and since I hung up the phone, there has been a ping-pong ball of relentless thoughts flying back and forth.
It’s going to be fine. What if it’s not? It’s going to be fine. What if it’s not?
So I did what I had to do. I went to the worst possible place. What if it’s not, like really not, OK? Like the big C-word not OK. What if something horrible happens? Then what? What about my family?
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. -John 14:27
Let not your heart be troubled.
I choose Peace. I choose Jesus. I choose not to be afraid. When that ping pong ball comes flying over the net carrying a heap of fear and what-ifs and worst-case scenarios, I will hit it back over the net as fast as I am able.
Let not your heart be troubled.
Neither let it be afraid.
God is my Father and His plan for me is perfect. His plan for my husband is perfect. His plans for my children are perfect.
This is not the first unsettling call I have received in my lifetime, and I don’t believe it will be the last.
There is so much about life that is outside of our control, and this is one of those things. I trust in the goodness of God. I pray that no matter the outcome, God be glorified. His will be done.
When fear comes pinging my way, I pray it will be replaced with the knowledge and understanding that I have a perfect Father and He is with me. Always. In the good times and in the times when you pick up the phone and hear some unsettling news that leaves the world feeling a bit more fragile than it did a few seconds ago. A world where possibilities exist in your mind that never existed before. A world that can change in a second – with one test result. One pregnancy test. One ultrasound. One mammogram. One text. One email. One phone call.
A world that God is in control of. Our Perfect, Loving, Heavenly Father. He is in control. He knows. He has a plan. And His plan is perfect.
Regardless of whatever news we may receive. Regardless of how rattled, or unsettled, or unsure we may feel.
And that is where I will rest. In that truth.
And when my thoughts threaten to ping back the other way, I will lift up my eyes and my arms. I will let Him hold me. And there, in His arms, I will be able to face any storm that comes my way.
Let not your heart be troubled . . .
Let not it be afraid . . .
Whatever the end result may be . . .
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