Finding a ‘mom-friend’ is like dating

Finding a 'mom-friend' is like dating
Written by Annie Henriksen

Please tell me that I am not alone – the search for a ‘mom-friend’ is a lot like dating! You have to weed through the masses, awkward play dates, and a few crazies to find the right one.

Shortly before I had my daughter my husband was relocated for work.  I found myself in a new town, hundreds of miles from friends and family, with this new tiny human.  I was desperate to find my “village!”  My support network close to home.  Someone to walk the mall with, another mom to bounce parenting ideas off of, and someone to just vent to about how hard parenting was at times!  I needed a ‘mom-friend.’  

My husband worked LONG hours and most days were spent at home with a new born and the dogs.  I needed more adult interaction! At that age they are not in sports, or going to the park to play.  How was I going to find my other mommy half?

I turned to every resource I could think of and what I found out was- finding mom friends was a lot like dating! There I was back in the dating field! 

Yep, the old feeling of ‘will they call?’ or ‘will they like me ’ was now a familiar feeling again.   I was looking for cool moms everywhere.   Where you used to look at bars for a cute guy, I was now looking for cool moms at the doctor’s office, kids clothing stores, and yes I was even that crazy lady in line at the grocery store trying to make small talk. I was in search of a play date, or to meet for coffee.  Yes, I was that crazy lady! I am sure that many of these women thought I was nuts, but I was in need of that cool mom companion.

I am not embarrassed to admit, that just like dating, I even turned to the internet.  I searched mom groups in the area, walking groups, anything!  I found a local group of women that walked the mall with their kids every other week.  I gave it a try and I learned reason number two why looking for a mom friend was like dating; it’s hard to find your “match.”  

You have the ‘baby wearing moms,’ the moms that only serve tofu and beans for snacks, the moms that love to talk in detail about their home birth, and the worse of all – the moms who have the perfectly dressed kids who just making parenting look so dang easy! 

It was just like dating- so many charters out there! I just could not find anyone I clicked with!

Finally I found the one! Let’s call her Sally. Sally recently moved to the area from out of state. Sally had posted on one of the local mom Facebook pages that she TOO was looking for some local mom resources. 

I performed a dating first for me and emailed her, asking her on a blind “play date.”  I had never been on a real blind date let alone a ‘blind mommy date.’  However it paid off!  We bonded right away over the fact we were both hundreds of miles away from our family and friends, our husbands worked long hours, and agreed on most parenting topics!  It was a miracle.

As moms we need that support network around us; moms who are going through the same things as us. That person we can vent to day or night with no judgment.  It’s such a blessing once you have found that person! Just like dating you have to have to go through lots and lots of duds before you find the right one.

About the author

Annie Henriksen

Annie Henriksen lives in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota. She married her college sweetheart in an outdoor ceremony in thirty degree weather, just to keep things interesting. After a career in non-profit she was promoted to Stay-At-Home of her three year old daughter and one year old baby boy. She has a fresh perspective on parenting as a first time mom of an active toddler and one year old! She understands that every day as a parents will not be easy, but it’s about the laughter that fills the home that makes it worth it.

She believes family comes first on all fronts, and every day has its own challenges but you have to take them on one at a time.