I heard once, a long time ago, that a girl’s mind is like spaghetti and a man’s mind is like waffles.
Of course, I heard this odd phrase before I was married, so it didn’t stick with me.
However, now that I’m married and we are soon to hit our 2 year mark, I can say, with sure confidence, that I get it, friends. I get it.
Let me explain via examples from our everyday life:
Exhibit A: Hubs was watching the husker game on TV. I was sitting next to him. At some point I looked over and said something of high importance. (HA!) He nodded in agreement, leading me to believe that he heard what I said. But did he hear it, guys? Did he?
No! He did not. He didn’t hear a darn thing I said. I know this because I asked him to repeat back what I just told him and he sheepishly replied, “uhhh…I love you?” and winked. He didn’t hear me because his mind is a waffle. It is one thing. It can only handle paying attention to one thing at a time. The phrase “multi-tasking” does not exist in his vocabulary. Which may sound like a bad thing at first, but it is quite the contrary. He has the ability to throw such focus and passion into what he is working on that I think (science hasn’t proven this) but it very well may be impossible for him to fail at anything.
Exhibit B: Hubs and I will be having a nice conversation about…our dogs, let’s say. (Purely hypothetical, although, we do talk about them a lot). Anyway, we’re discussing our pups and then I jump to “when do you think it will snow?” This was a seamless jump in my mind. Making perfect sense. However, hubs looks at me with utter disbelief. “How did we jump to that? Where did that come from”, he asks! Well, I bought the dogs Christmas sweaters, these sweaters will be worn in a photo for the Christmas card, I really want to take the picture while they’re playing in the snow, I wonder when it will snow…*still makes sense to me* He wasn’t trackin’ with me though.
Our lady mind’s flow from one subject to the next because our minds are like spaghetti. Everything is interwoven, interconnected. All topics lead back to another topic.
(Hence why we still remember that one thing you said, that one time, about that one person)
It’s quirks like this that make marriage so fun.
And marriage is fun, but isn’t easy, friends. Like I said, we are only approaching year two, but I can already tell you, it’s not easy. It takes work and communication and lots of pizza.
(the pizza is because I’m often too lazy to cook my man a homemade, from scratch, kinda meal)
It takes work to “keep dating” while being married. To make time for one another. To go on weekly date nights. To woo and swoon each day. (I imagine it is especially hard work when you have little kiddos running around)
It takes communication to overcome the battle of the waffle VS spaghetti issue. Always remember friends, your spouse can’t read your mind. As hard as he may try. They just can’t. And I can’t read my hubby’s mind. As awesome as that would be. (or maybe not awesome, I don’t know…) So we have to use clear, concise, communication. Say what’s on your mind, when it’s on your mind.
Throughout our marriage journey, I’ve slowly, but surely learned these things. BUT, the most important thing I’ve learned, is to laugh. I’m not sure why, but I think we forget to laugh together at some point?! You married that person, HOPEFULLY, because they’re your best friend. Better half. Soul mate. That person knows you better than anyone else in the whole wide world. So act like best friends. There’s a time to be serious and then there’s A LOT more time to be ridiculous.
Stay up till 2 am Netflix binging a new show
Make a late night run to get pints of Ben & Jerry’s, but make it even better by picking out each others ice cream.
Watch hilarious stand-up comedians till your both suffering from belly ache laughs.
THE BEST marriage advice I’ve ever gotten was from my own mom. She told me once that her and my dad were so broke that they couldn’t afford a full fledge “date night.” PLUS, they had us 3 kiddos to worry about and who wants to pay for dinner, a movie, and a babysitter? So, they would have Dessert Dates. One would go out and pick up two desserts. One for mom and one for dad. Then, after us kiddos were asleep, they would stay up late into the night, eating their desserts together. No distractions. No complicated plans. Just conversation.
Now that’s some marital bliss, people.
Life is short & sucky things happen. Why make our marriages one of those sucky things?
Let’s be BFF’s with our spouse again, shall we?!