To My Friend Who’s Not In The Motherhood Club, I Still Love You

Hey Friend,

I just wanted to drop by for a quick chat. I know we’re both super busy, but I feel like I owe you an explanation for my absence lately. For why I’ve been a little frazzled and out of it. For why I suck at responding to your texts and the pile of rain checks I’ve asked for has become an entire rain checkbook.

You’ve probably figured out by now that I’m in this Club. I decided a couple of years back that I was finally ready—at least as ready as you can ever really be—and took the plunge.

Well, let me tell you, when I joined the initiation process was rough. Orientation didn’t quite prepare me for the realities of membership, and I won’t lie—there’s a certain amount of hazing that’s just par for the course.

Not only that, but once you’re in this Club, you can’t leave. The dues are pretty steep, you don’t volunteer so much as you’re “voluntold” and sometimes you get stuck doing the really mundane, gross tasks that no one else wants. It’s been an interesting ride, to say the least.

Right now, this Club takes up a lot of my emotional dollars (and my physical ones, too), but rumor has it that once you work your way up to Secretary or Treasurer, it gets a little easier. If you make it to VP or President, you’re golden. 

But please, don’t let me scare you. That’s not why we’re having this talk.

Honestly, I wanted to let you know that just because I’m in this Club and you’re not, it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. It doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life or value your place in it. Just because it’s consuming so much of my time and energy right now, doesn’t mean it always will. It also definitely doesn’t mean I don’t care about what’s going on outside the Club.

Because even if we’re not both part of this one, I would love to be in other clubs with you! I will always be a committed Coffee Club enthusiast. A Men Say And Do The Darndest Things Club aficionado. An avid Workout Club attendee. An occasionally truant Book Club participant (it’s the thought that counts, right?). An aspiring Travel Bucket List Club member.

There are literally tons of other club happenings that we can talk about when we chat. We don’t have to talk about this one Club. I totally understand how it might bore the pants off of you. If I’m being honest, it’s actually really nice for me to forget that I’m even in it sometimes.

I also know there’s a chance you might really want to join this Club, but it’s proving to be harder than you thought. I guarantee you that despite the rigorous demands, membership requirements are actually very flexible. If you want in, it’s gonna happen, one way or another. I promise you.

And when it does, or when you do decide to join, I can’t wait to welcome you with open arms. It’s a big commitment, but one you won’t regret. I think you’ll really like the other members too, for the most part. We don’t always agree, but that’s the beauty of it—we share a bond that connects us all, no matter who we are or where we come from.

In the meantime, let’s coordinate schedules and find a club meeting that we can both attend. I’m always game for a Wine and Cheese Club gathering.

Oh, and please give my best to all the members of the Sleep Club. I really miss that one.