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Life is at a standstill. Everything is still functioning and people are going on as normal, yet I’m just observing.

This was written a few weeks after I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of cancer called triple-negative breast cancer at the age of 33 with a 7, newly 5, and 2-year-old. I was terrified for them. I was terrified of what life was going to be like for them.

Shock was the first part of my process. I couldn’t pray for myself. There were no words. I had cancer, and I knew that wasn’t going to change. My friends, now they knew what prayers I needed. They surrounded me in prayer. They never ceased with prayer when it was needed during this time.

RELATED: A Praying Friend is the Best Kind of Friend

Once the shock wore off and I could face the diagnosis, with every ounce my soul would allow, I started to pray again. God so loudly and so directly told me I was going to make it.

I never once felt like I wasn’t.

He provided me with family and friends that did everything in their power to keep me and, most importantly, my children afloat.

I know many of you mamas are here for that life preserver. You need others to lift you up when life seems unmanageable. My heart hopes this community can be that for you.

A wise person once told me that God sometimes does give you more than you can handle and because of this, He gives you friends to help you out. Mamas, we have the most amazing bond with othersmotherhood. Let’s embrace each other. Let’s embrace each other during motherhood.

Let’s embrace each other during those standstills that seem so isolating.

Many of your battles are not as obvious as my bald head, tired eyes, and endless trips to the cancer center were, but I’m here to tell you that we see you. We do. God sees you. He wants you to cast your concerns to Him. If you are unable to cast them to God at this time. I see you. I get it.

RELATED: God Hears Our Wordless Prayers

We are in this life together. The hards. The visible scars. The invisible battles. We need each other and let’s create a community of open arms and hearts for each other. Be it in the online world, at the grocery store, in the pick-up line at school, while having coffee at your kitchen table with a friend, or at the neighborhood playground. Let’s create that amazing community God wants.

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Charissa Bates

Charissa is a Triple Negative Breast Cancer survivor at the age of 33. She has three beautiful children and works part-time as a mental health therapist. Writing has become empowering and therapeutic. Standstill: A Young Mom Conquering Triple Negative Breast Cancer will be available on her "Cancerversary" on December 12, 2022. Two other children’s books will be coming soon: We Find Joy (Cancer Messed with the Wrong Family) & The Traveling Book. Charissa runs and Salt Shaker Ministries. Also operates Busy Moms Need Jesus ( with her friend, Abbey.

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