Our fall favorites are here! 🍂

Dear old friends,

I miss you.

I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.

After college, we tried hard at first, getting together and catching up as often as we could.

We were at each other’s weddings and first baby showers. All celebrating the next big things in our lives together. I never imagined a big celebration without you all in it. 

A few months apart turned into a few years, and now it feels like a lifetime since we were even in the same room together.

We’ve lost touch over the years, and as I found myself neck-deep in motherhood, it became extremely challenging trying to stay on top of keeping my kids alive and keeping our friendships alive as well.

RELATED: Sometimes Motherhood Makes Keeping Friendships Alive Hard

You see, motherhood has rocked me to my core and worn me thin. I have been weary and overwhelmed trying to balance it all. I can barely muster up the energy for my family needs, let alone trying to string together a sentence if we were to hangout.

My heart aches for you as I sit down after a long day and think of all the special times we had together.

It was a blastfull of laughs, inside jokes, and late nights together. We shared clothes, secrets, and favorite television shows.

There were the sad moments, too when tears fell down our cheeks as we handled break ups, failed courses, and hard disappointments.

We navigated through adulthood together. Always there for each other to figure out what we didn’t know and enjoying the freedom that came with living on our own.

I think what I miss most is how comfortable our friendship was. It was so easy. You loved me for me, and I didn’t have to pretend to be anyone I wasn’t. I didn’t have to ever wonder if you liked me or not.

RELATED: A Good Friend Doesn’t Make You Question Where You Stand With Her

We were honest with each other, sometimes too honest, but that is what made our friendship so special.

You always made me feel included. You always made me feel loved. You always made me feel worthy.

I think what I hate the most is that we are not sharing motherhood together because I could really use the company trying to figure out how to do this mommy thing the right wayif there even is a right way. Or we could at least laugh about it. I know your encouraging words and smiles would be the balm to my mama soul.

I am so thankful for what we shared together. I hope that once life settles down, we can pick up right where we left offlaughing, crying, and enjoying the next season of our lives together.

RELATED: To the Friends Who Stay—Thank You

Until then, I am still your number one fan, cheering you on from a distance and praying for you with all my heart.  

Love,
Your forever friend

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Amber  Palmer 

Amber is a busy mom of two kiddos, wife, and blogger over at My Jars of Clay. When she is not homeschooling her daughter, you can find her writing to encourage other moms and helping them keep their focus on Jesus. Amber enjoys spending her time reading, singing when no one is around, and throwing random dance parties in her kitchen. She loves connecting with other moms in person and over on Instagram.

Find Your Person, She’s Worth It

In: Friendship, Living
Two women smiling, color photo

Have you found her? I’m talking about the person you can call your best friend. The girl who will give up sleep to take your phone call. The one who will stand outside your hospital window during COVID with a sign because she can’t be inside, cheering you on. That person who will defend you when need to be and be your voice of reason when you seem to have lost your way a bit. I’m one of the fortunate ones who has found her. For us, it all started when we were 12 years old. Our families lived next to...

Keep Reading

The Greatest Gift We Can Give Someone Is to Include Them

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Female friends laughing together outside

The greatest gift we can give someone is to include them. Never have I felt more isolated and excluded than I did as a new mom. With two babies born a year apart, socializing was impossible. I couldn’t hold a conversation with my kids in tow. And they were always in tow. In those early years of motherhood, something like a hair appointment meant more than just a cut and color. It was an opportunity for uninterrupted, adult conversation. After a couple of years of baby talk and mom buns, I was intensely in need of all three. I booked...

Keep Reading

A Friend Turning on You Can Hurt More than a Breakup

In: Friendship, Living
Sad woman with head in hands

I was betrayed badly recently by a friend, the kind of betrayal that leaves a deep mark. The one that makes you question the trust you put in people. How close you let your soul get to theirs. Months later, my brain still is trying to dissect how someone could do that. A friend turning on you can hurt worse than a bad breakup. How could I have been such a fool and not see their true colors? Et tu Brute? repeated in my head. It has not happened in years. Since high school if I am being honest. But...

Keep Reading

When It Comes To Friendship, Keep Reaching Out

In: Friendship, Living
Two friends smiling and hugging

Just keep reaching out. Even if the fallout isn’t your fault. Even if they don’t text or call back. Even if you feel like you’re the only one trying. When you find a best friend who you grow extremely close with, the changing of seasons in each of your lives makes it challenging. Chances are, you’re going to be in the same phase, and then you blink. All of a sudden, you’re going to be in two completely different stages of life. You’re not sure when or how it happened so fast, but you still want to hold onto that...

Keep Reading

When a Friend Says She’s Fat, Say Something

In: Friendship, Living
Overweight woman in pink shirt looking out at water

I made a mistake the other day. My beautiful friend told me she felt fat and might skip a summer event because she needs to lose some weight . . . and I was quiet. I was quiet because I was shocked. She is someone who radiates confidence, grace, kindness, and gorgeousness to me. “What? What are you even talking about?” I said. Then she was quiet. I wish I’d said to her instead, “Listen to me. You feel how you feel, and that’s real, but what you see is not what I see. It’s not what the world sees....

Keep Reading

Do You Know How Much It Hurts When You Forget Me?

In: Friendship, Living
Sad woman looking at phone in a darkened room

I don’t know if you know how much it hurts when you forget me.  You said you’d call as soon as you got off work. I never heard from you.  You said you’d take care of that before you left in the morning. When I woke up, I saw it was still undone.  You said there was a big event happening at church, and you’d be sure to pass on the details. I saw the photos on Facebook after it had already happened.  You said, “I’ll come by tomorrow!” You never called, and you never came.  RELATED: I’m the Forgettable...

Keep Reading

A Circle of Friends Is a Treasure for Life

In: Faith, Friendship, Living
Group of 3 friends walking on beach at sunset

Are you a part of a circle of women? Are you intrigued by watching groups of women in public? I love to observe groups of women out having fun, interacting: the loud group who is living life large, belly laughing until they cry, not caring if they are being watched; the group huddled close and crying, not wanting to be the center of attention, but sharing a serious moment they are all invested in; and finally the woman who is alone, watching both groups desperately wishing to be a part of a circle.   I want to know their stories,...

Keep Reading

My Daughter Misses Out Because of My Social Anxiety

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Little girl looking out window, black-and-white photo

There are a million things I wasn’t prepared for when I became a mom. It also seems like four years into it, there always seems to be something new lurking around the corner. A new twist I didn’t see coming. Something else that was going to make me question my parenting abilities and doubt myself as a mom. This one came in the form of an e-vite to a birthday party. It sounds silly, and in the grand scheme of things, it really is. But it seems like as my daughter’s social skills have developed at a rapid pace, mine...

Keep Reading

Your Friend with Social Anxiety Isn’t Rude, It’s Just Really Hard

In: Friendship, Living
Sad woman sitting by coffee shop window alone looking down

“You know you came off as rude, right?” “I didn’t mean to. Honestly, I just don’t know what to say and I get nervous. My anxiety takes over,” I responded.   “I know, but just giving you the feedback that that’s what others would perceive.” Ugh. Add to the list of things my anxiety causes me to be. Worrywart. Fearful. Irritable and snappy mom. Bad friend. And now I’m rude.  It’s not like I want to come off that way. I get nervous any time I talk to someone new—I can’t help it. I struggle to figure out where the conversation should go as...

Keep Reading

Our Kids Are Friends—Does That Mean We Have to Be Too?

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Two school age kids smiling with arms around each other

I knew when I had kids that I would be dealing with the building and deconstruction of their friendships for the long term. Why on earth didn’t it occur to me that I’d also be dealing with my own relationships with the other children’s parents and caregivers?   If it was just one thing—growing a friendship with said child’s parents because our kids are friends—that would be easy enough. It’s not just one thing. The combination of scenarios is plentiful. Maybe I like a parent, but they don’t seem to like me. Maybe a parent is trying to befriend me,...

Keep Reading