Pre-Order So God Made a Mother

Your comfort is not priority.

As you sit around your family tables rubbing sleep from your newly-awakened eyes, remember your comfort is not priority. Speak up anyway.

You’re seeing your family and friends in a new light. No longer able to tolerate statements rooted in bias and hate. Your comfort, their comfort, is not priority. Speak up anyway.

High school friends no longer recognize your social media posts. They throw around “woke” and “social justice warrior” like insults that should cut deep to your soul, but they no longer have that effect.

Take a breath and speak up anyway.

The riots make you uncomfortable, but you ask, how uncomfortable have my Black friends, family, and neighbors been while screaming about a problem that no one believed?

How have they smiled and gone about their day while Black bodies were policed to death?

RELATED: Please Love My Son Because the Rest of the World Doesn’t

When someone felt their hair was free to be touched and pulled? When people feel they have the right to demand knowledge of where they belong, because it’s sure not in their neighborhood?

I can tell you from experience, that’s a level beyond discomfort. It’s anger-inducing trauma on repeat for the entirety of their existence.

Your comfort is not priority.

You have been awakened and it’s time to go to work. Americans have been suffering for far too long as you and generations before you slept.

Now that you’ve seen the truth, closing your eyes is no longer an option, so you’ll study. You’ll ask questions, watch movies, documentaries, and become more protective of the Black people in your life.

You’ll challenge long-held views and your friendship circle may change, but your comfort is not priority. Not now.

RELATED: Dear White Moms, This is What I Need You To Know

We must become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Discomfort is where growth occurs. Discomfort is the precursor to change. Discomfort can feel stifling, but freedom is on the other side.

So you’ll speak up, even when it’s uncomfortable. You’ll have to. You’re awake now and we’ve been waiting for you.

Originally published on Facebook

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Jacalyn Wetzel

Jacalyn is a mother of four, and the creator of the blog Stop Yelling Please. She writes about motherhood in a way that most can relate. Jacalyn’s passion is parenting and relating to parents who may be struggling with the day to day. She’s a speaker, author and Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

Don’t Call, Text (and Other Things You Need to Know about Me As Your Mom Friend)

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
3 moms holding babies on a couch

This is the kind of mom I am right now. Don’t talk to me during gymnastics class or swim class—this is my quiet time, and I am either getting a break from life or catching up on texts and emails or looking up the hours of the trampoline park for our next playdate. My Notes app is filled with grocery list upon grocery list. I have developed systems to stay sane. When grocery shopping, I get the one item I need first rather than last because too many times I forget the one thing I need and can’t make dinner....

Keep Reading

A Permission Slip for Creativity

In: Living, Motherhood
Create Anyway book in the middle of kids playing with building blocks on floor

The following is an excerpt from Create Anyway by Ashlee Gadd, available today wherever books are sold! In those first few weeks at home with a milk-drunk newborn in my arms, I Googled every little thing, hopping in and out of online parenting forums, desperate for an instruction manual. Is it normal for a baby to poop six times in one day? Does breastfeeding ever get easier? Underneath my nitty-gritty questions loomed the ultimate insecurity every first-time mom battles: Am I doing this whole motherhood thing right? Just a few months prior, I had quit my pencil-skirt-and-high-heels- wearing marketing job...

Keep Reading

Anxious Moms Need Friends Too

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Women hugging outside

When I was 32, my family and I decided to move out of state. The state I had lived in all my life, where almost all my family and friends lived. Most of my friendships were childhood friends or friends I made in college. I made very few new, adult friendships after college. Maybe I felt I didn’t really need to because there was always a friend I could call. Or maybe, I didn’t want to step outside my comfort zone, face possible rejection, and felt it was just easier not to talk to people (hint: it was definitely the...

Keep Reading

The Isolation of Motherhood

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mom sitting beside stroller, black and white image

During my early years of having children, I can recall feeling like I needed more help with juggling—taking care of my little ones and our home. Although my mother-in-law was only a 10-minute drive away, she was preoccupied looking after my nephew and nieces. Awkwardly, I would only ask if it was really necessary—like a doctor’s appointment or the dentist. Even at church, it was difficult to ask for help—either we didn’t know certain members well enough to entrust our kids to their care or they were friends with children too and that hardly seemed fair to burden them. The...

Keep Reading

The Abuse Was Never Your Fault

In: Living
Silhouette of curly hair woman in sunset

Trigger warning: this post addresses abuse. “You were a rebellious teenager, it was your fault.” Those words have been said to me more than they ever should have been. As a teen, I was groomed into relationships with men 10 years older than me. Men groomed me, and because I thought it was love and I “consented” to it, the adults around me didn’t protect me and blamed it on my being a rebellious teenager. To this day some people in my life continue to tell themselves and others that it was my fault to avoid the guilt of knowing...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Love Means Slowing Down

In: Friendship, Kids
Two boys on bicycles riding to park, shown from behind

Think of something faster than a 7-year-old boy on a two-wheel bike. Maybe a race car at the drop of the checkered flag? Perhaps a rocket ship blasting into space? Or how quickly a toddler mom books it out of the house after being told she can have a hands-free hour ALONE in Target. Yes, all of these things are seriously speedy, but I have still never seen anything quite as quick as a boy on a bike on a sunny day with endless open track ahead of him. Until today. Today, my 6-year-old son wanted to ride bikes with...

Keep Reading

To the Mom Going through a Divorce

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman holding young girl outside, blurred background

To the mom going through a divorce: you can do this. I’ve been where you are, staring at a mountain of changes and challenges that felt insurmountable. The crushing ache of divorce, of family disruption, of building a new life, and helping my son through it all seemed endless and impossible. But eventually, I made it through to the other side, and I want you to know: the pain won’t last forever.  The first year following a divorce is an overwhelming puzzle of putting your life back together. And when there are kids involved, there is so much more to...

Keep Reading

I Wish My Family Could See More than My Faults

In: Living
Mom standing with child on dirt road

I am and always will be a self-described mini-train wreck. I’m disorganized, have trouble keeping my house clean, and my kids aren’t perfect angels. In my home, we have fights, slammed doors, foul language, and dirty dishes in the sink.  I sometimes go in the bathroom and cry so hard my mascara streaks down my cheeks—that is, when I wear mascara. Usually sans makeup and hair tied with an old scrunchy is the look I often rock.  I’m notoriously terrible about making appointments for myself, I’m constantly tired, and my nails could stand a good manicure.  I’m overweight, and I...

Keep Reading

There’s Something Special about Old Friends

In: Friendship, Living
College of pictures of friends, black-and-white photo

There is much to be said about old friends. In quotes, in the five regrets of the dying, in The Golden Girls theme song. But life gets busy, doesn’t it? It gets complicated—marriages, jobs, kids, errands. Friendships that were once part of us seem to fade into the background as lives grow and shift.  Being the always optimist, the queen of nostalgia, the friend who probably holds on just a little too tight, I have always seen the value in the old. The familiar. I’m the person who orders the same menu item every time at my favorite restaurant. I’m...

Keep Reading

8 Fight Songs for the Single Mom

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman holding earbuds in ears

They whispered to her: You cannot withstand the storm. I have had days when the storms hit me while I sat on the shower floor with my knees to my chest feeling completely defeated, letting the hot water beat down on my body. I have had nights when the storms hit me as tears stained my pillow. As time has moved on, I am learning how to beat the storms. This is only possible because of the family and friends that God has brought into my life. This is my fight song. These are and have been my take back...

Keep Reading