Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

This one is for my girls. The ones who love me through my ugly. The ones who show up at my doorstep ready to fight a bear on my behalf. The ones I can be myself around.

This one is for you.

My ride-or-die girls, you are the ones who keep me grounded. When everything around me feels like it is crashing in, you throw me a lifeline. I can be honest with you about the hard stuff, like fights with my husband and financial struggles. You don’t judge, you don’t try to fix, you just show up at my door with my favorite coffee and an open ear.

You girls saved me.

Motherhood did a lot of strange things to me and loneliness was pretty high on the list.

After baby number one my friend list slowly dwindled down. I didn’t know how to cultivate adult relationships, and all of my energy went to keeping tiny people alive. With each passing month, I felt my mental health slipping, but instead of getting help I just pushed through and hoped it would all go away.

RELATED: When Mama is Lonely

I didn’t know it at the time, but I just needed a friend.

I told myself I would be fine, that I didn’t need anyone. I closed up my heart and refused to let anyone else in. I stayed home far more often than I should have, and I relied heavily on my husband to bear the lonely pieces of my heart.

Then he deployed.

I was thrown into this ugly sea of isolation and felt whispers in my ear that I was just not worthy of friendship.

I scrolled through social media feeds and watched as my friends talked about their tribe. I longed for a friend, but I just told myself I was an introvert. I made myself believe this was just the way I would live for the rest of my life.

Until I couldn’t anymore.

RELATED: It’s OK to Admit You’re Not OK, Mama

My breaking point was ugly. Tears streamed down my face as I looked around at the scene before me. The contents of our dog’s food and water bowl painted my kitchen floor. In the midst of all the chaos, there she was, my beautiful 2-year-old. Tears poured from her eyes as she looked up at me with confusion. My outburst resulted in kicking the bowls across the room and then suddenly regretting my actions. I quickly scooped her up in my arms, and we embraced each other with broken forgiveness.

It was in this moment, I realized I needed help.

After much counseling and several acquaintanceships later, God did it. He gave me my tribe.

I found these reliable people who cared about me, my family, and my well-being. These strong women came in my life with this warrior spirit and took on my baggage. They built up my self-esteem and carried some of my weight. They cried with me and folded my laundry and built me up in ways I could never explain.

RELATED: To the Friends Who Stay—Thank You

This one is for my girls.

Girls, you are my favorite human beings. I could never put into words the love I have for you, but I’d like to try. You are the rainbow at the end of my storm. You are the creamer to my coffee and the dry shampoo to my crazy days. Thank you for being my people and showing me that adult relationships do exist.

I love you girls.

You are my people.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Lindsey Carson

Lindsey Carson is a christian mom blogger that spends her days chasing babies and chugging coffee. She was raised in New Mexico and holds the Zia Symbol close to her heart as she learns the ins and outs of east coast living. She enjoys writing about her adventures in motherhood, marriage, and redemption at

Hey Friend, Meet Me in the Mess

In: Friendship, Living
Friends smiling

If you come to our home, you’ll likely see a basket of folded or unfolded laundry waiting to be put away. You may even see a pile of dirty clothes hanging out by the washer. If you come to our home, you’ll likely find spitty bits in the sink from where little kids brushed their teeth in a hurry and forgot to rinse. Despite my best efforts, they always seem to find their way back. If you come to our home, there’s a 50-50 chance the beds will be made. If they were made, there’s a high chance they were...

Keep Reading

Your Husband Needs Friendship Too

In: Faith, Friendship, Marriage
3 men smiling outside

As the clock inches closer to 7:00 on a Monday evening, I pull out whatever dessert I had prepared that week and set it out on the kitchen counter. This particular week it’s a trifle, but other weeks it may be brownies, pound cake, or cookies of some kind. My eyes do one last sweep to make sure there isn’t a tripping hazard disguised as a dog toy on the floor and that the leftover dinner is put away. Then, my kids and I make ourselves scarce. Sometimes that involves library runs or gym visits, but it mostly looks like...

Keep Reading

When You Need a Friend, Be a Friend

In: Friendship, Living
Two friends having coffee

We have all seen them—the posts about the door always open, the coffee always on, telling us someone is always there when we need support. I have lived with depression my entire life. From being a nervous child with a couple of ticks to a middle-aged woman with recurrent major depressive and generalized Anxiety disorder diagnoses. Antidepressants, therapy, writing, and friends are my treatments. The first three are easy, my doctor prescribes antidepressants, I make appointments with a therapist, and I write when I feel the need. RELATED: Happy People Can Be Depressed, Too The fourth is hard. As I...

Keep Reading

Give Me Friends to Do Everyday Life With

In: Friendship
Two women at a sporting stadium, color photo

She sees me coming. A small wave from her house window and a silent invitation to come on over for our morning coffee. An unsaid invitation to connect with someone who gets the joys and challenges of being a mother. A quick, small, and valued break from life and stress and my house messes has become the perfect way to start the morning. A neighbor who has become a dear friend. Prior to this encounter, alarm clocks were ringing, breakfast was made, backpacks were packed, and shoes were missing. School mornings are rough. Motherhood is rough. The world around us...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Friendship Is Tested

In: Friendship
Two women friends hugging

Sometimes our own experiences can be hard on our friends, especially when those experiences have to do with fertility and pregnancy. My friend and I met when our children were six months old at a mom’s group Christmas party. She was the only other mom there without a partner, her husband having refused to attend in favor of playing video games in the silence of an empty home just like mine. Her son was a day younger than my daughter. Although she was almost 10 years older than me, we became fast friends, bonding over the loneliness that is staying...

Keep Reading

Give Me Friends Who Aren’t Keeping Up with the Joneses

In: Friendship, Living
Woman standing outside, color photo

Following trends is nothing new. Long before Kitsch curls and Lululemon belt bags, there were perms and, well, the original fanny packs. There’s been a constant, circulating rotation of must-buys for us to feel cool or relevant. And we women have been especially pressured to think we need these things to be accepted and part of the elusive village. Keeping up with the Joneses (or Kardashians for that matter) has just never been my thing. There are plenty of reasons why I’ll never be called a trendy girl: I can’t afford to be one. I lack the stylish eye required....

Keep Reading

Lifelong Friends Are Golden

In: Friendship, Living
Smiling group of women friends

They know all your secrets. They can name your old elementary and high school crushes, your most embarrassing moments, your biggest regrets. They know the one you love and the ones that got away. They celebrate your greatest achievements and empathize with your wish-you-could-do-overs. You don’t have to be wordy in texts, phone calls, or conversations—you get one another. Weeks, months, and sometimes even years may pass, and you pick up right where you left off. Laughter with your crew is like none other—unrefined, unrestrained, childhood bliss relived. RELATED: Good, Long Distance Friendship is Hard But So Worth it You’ve...

Keep Reading

Thank You for Being a Friend Who Grieves Beside Me

In: Friendship, Grief, Loss
Friends with arms around each other photographed from behind

My loss has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to endure, and I honestly don’t know if I would be here without you and your love and support. To cry with you and to you. To sit with you in silence or filled with so many words. To feel you holding me literally and emotionally with your gentle and loving arms. RELATED: I’m the Friend With the Dead Mom To understand and witness that my loss is a loss to you too, and to feel that importance of my friendship and life to you. To randomly break...

Keep Reading

As Our Children Get Older, Friends with Young Kids Are Such a Beautiful Gift

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Woman with two young girls, color photo

When I walk into our neighborhood pool these days, I’m often greeted by a small, usually wet, 4-year-old. Her face lights up and she runs toward me, wrapping her arms around my legs, and looking up at me from behind turquoise goggles. We bonded a few months ago when I decorated her wrist with an assortment of rainbow-colored, rubber bracelets and filled her a plate of marshmallows and strawberries. Now she draws pictures for me, jumps to me in the shallow end, and runs toward me if she spots me somewhere.   Sometimes her mom, who is a dear friend...

Keep Reading

Friend, It’s Okay to Say No

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Woman holding coffee cup sitting by window and relaxing

Last week I hosted a sleepover birthday party for six girls. Six 5-year-olds descended on our house, invited by me in a weak moment of expansiveness and generosity to my 5-year-old’s birthday wishes. I fed them pizza and ice cream cake. They demanded candy. They staged a disco party. They stayed awake past midnight. Almost everyone cried at some point. The next morning—after serving six waffles with whipped cream, not with butter, why don’t you have strawberries?—I felt exhausted and annoyed at myself for taking this on. It was unequivocally a terrible idea. I should’ve known it was too much....

Keep Reading