By Jen Jones 
My sweet Raylan,
Did you know your mommy and daddy told me about you on my birthday? Your four-legged sisters jumped out of the car wearing bandanas that announced you were due Christmas Eve. Did I scare you with my jumping and screaming? You can’t imagine my excitement. I was going to be your Nana!
Did you know we started calling you “Baby Bee” right away? Did you know we thought about using bees as the theme for your baby shower at first? I couldn’t wait to start planning. I didn’t care that it was only April and we had so many months before we could meet you.
Did you know your mommy and daddy surprised everyone and announced you were a boy at their July 4th party? Did Daddy’s Trans Am scare you when he started it and blue smoke came out? Could you feel how happy your mommy and daddy were as they hugged? So much love, sweet boy. None of us could wait to meet you.
Did you know where your name came from? It was a character in a favorite show of your mommy and daddy. And Mack? That’s your great-grandpa’s name. He was so surprised when they told him they were naming you after him. He didn’t say much that night, but he was close to tears because he was so proud.
Did you know I bought your Christmas present as soon as I knew you were a boy? A big, metal Tonka dump truck. I planned on wrapping you up and taking your picture in it as soon as I could.
Did you know almost 100 people were invited to your shower? Did you know how much fun we had planning it? Could you hear your mommy and daddy talking about you and how much they loved you already?
Did you hear my cries and screams when I got the call that you were gone? Did the angels hold you tight as we cried? Did you hear my anger, my rage at God? Did you hear my prayers for strength and comfort even as I cursed at God?
Did you meet my grandparents? How long did my grandmas cuddle you before they let anyone else say hi? Is Heaven as beautiful as I believe? Can you still feel our love for you?
Did you send your baby sister to us? And did you plan for her to be born on your birthday, exactly one year later? Did you know that would help make October 5th a happier day for us? Did you whisper her name in your daddy’s ear? Raylan and Rosalyn go so well together.
Can you see how hard we try to include you in everything? Can you see your Christmas trees and your stockings? Do you see your Easter baskets? Do you know that I think about you every single day and that I ache to hold you close? Can you still feel our love?
Do you see how we try to honor you? Do you see the birthday cakes we buy for other little boys? Do you like that we buy presents for other kids who might not have a Christmas? Does it make you happy that we donate to the animal shelter and so many other places on your birthday and on holidays?
Do you think it’s silly that we are so desperate for everyone to know your name? Is it silly that we want to talk about you and dream about what you would look like? You would be three now. Would you like cars like your daddy? Would you like to look at books like your mommy?
Do you play with Reagan, Isabelle, Presley, and Layken? Do you talk about how your families have become friends and how they lean on each other during the hard days when missing you is all we can think about?
Do you know that Rosie knows my Angel Nana necklace is for “Waywan,” and that I hold that necklace every night as I go to sleep? Do you hear me say “I love you, sweet boy”? Do you know how very much you are loved and missed, Raylan?
Remember, sweet boy, you are in our hearts forever.
Love,
Nana
by Stacey Skrysak 
by Kaitlynn Ratcliff 
