I Am Sharing My Children With Another Woman

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I have avoided this subject because, well it is very painful. And scary. And the one thing that could very well break me. My boys. My sons. My sweet, innocent, loving boys. Divorce. Combine them and it hurts. Their dad and I are united in raising them together. Right now, we agree on how we are shaping, disciplining, and loving them. But our futures are not together as a couple. Each of us are moving on in our separate lives. Jobs, friends, homes, significant others, and one day spouses. I am okay with that. I have grieved that. It is that other person creating memories, relationships, and a family with my sons that knocks me down stealing my heart and breath.

Please don’t judge me too quickly. The more people who love my boys the better. I will not hold anything back from my children, especially not love. I am just not ready to share them. It hurts. So terribly bad. At times the pain is agonizing. I can’t even describe it right. However, I knew this day would come. And it has. Occurring more and more everyday where I have to share them. I become overwhelmed with this crazed feeling of keeping them close to me. Tucked into my arms. Laying on my breast. Next to my heart. I don’t want to go anywhere. We are in our own little world. Just us three. The Three Musketeers. No one else. I desperately want to keep the world out. Far away. Far away from my whole world. My T & G. Keeping them from everything and everyone.

But I don’t. I send them off. Off to create moments of joy, fun, and love with someone else. Yes, I know. I know no other woman will replace me as their mother. Or if she is even trying to. Yet it feels like it. Just like I feel like I was replaced as the partner, the lover, the person. The four of them doing ordinary things. Movies, bowling, park time, celebrating dad’s birthday, their birthdays. Holding them when they are sick. Wiping away tears. Making them laugh. Lunch dates. Holidays. Little and big things. Moments at one time I was doing. With all of them. It was how I saw the rest of my life. It was how I wanted to do the rest of my life.

The pain is deep into my soul. The pain of losing my husband is going away. But this. This pain never will. I will carry it with me always. And I know it will never lessen. I formed these two little people in me. They have heard my heart beat from the inside. They are my heart. For the last five and a half years, everything I have done is for them. To make them feel loved, valued, secured. This is why I do what I do. I let some other woman love my children. Not that I ever had a choice. However, I have a choice in how I make my children feel. She might not be the only one. For as long as she is, I will never forbid or withhold a relationship my boys may have. I want my children to remember the good and joyous memories of childhood. I do not want them to associate their youth only as divorce, especially their parents’ divorce. With anxiety, cruelty, stress, and hate. I do not want their childhood marred with those. Unfortunately, the world will give them too much of this in life. They are young babes. I want them to remain innocent and safe as long as I can.

Therefore, I will take it all on me. I know I can’t protect them and shield them forever. I wish I could. Nevertheless, I will do it as long as I can. I will hold my head high. I will be gracious. I will be kind. I don’t want to hate someone that cares for my children. Or their dad. I don’t want to teach my boys what that looks like. I want them to see no matter what the situation is, what happens to you, or how someone treats you, you can be better. They are in control of how they treat others. How they react. How they live their life. Life isn’t easy. Love isn’t easy. Parenthood isn’t easy. But it is worthy. It is worth the pain and suffering. It is worth doing everyday. Even when it breaks you. Even when it doesn’t go as planned. Even when it is so hard that continuing on seems impossible. Even if you don’t get want you want and what your heart desires. I want to teach and show my sons how to do all of that with grace and dignity.

I will put a smile on my face. I will send them off. I will interact with her and him. Even though I am crying on the inside. Even though my broken heart crumbles. Even though the pain is radiating in my body and stealing my breath. Even though it feels like my world is gone. Even though it is the hardest thing I will do in this divorce. And maybe my life.

My love for my sons is great enough to let them be loved.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

children Divorce marriage parenting

Katie Weber

Me. My two little men. My second change. Motherhood. Depression. Divorce. Love. God. laugher. Friendship. My lovely. It's all right here.

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

In: Grief

They say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I found that to be most true when my grandma passed. Like many grandmas, she was the best. She was kind and tender, but firm when she needed to be. She gave her time freely and used her baking talent to bless others. She had little and needed little, yet she had a way of drawing people together. There wasn’t a day I can remember when someone didn’t call her or stop by. She seemed to have all the answers and somehow knew how to fix almost any problem....

Keep Reading

My Parents Will Never See This Face

In: Grief

Woman with sunglasses shown in rear view mirror

You’ve had that moment, right? That moment when you don’t recognize the woman standing in front of you. Her hair is grayer. The skin around her eyes is a bit darker. Even without noticing the small details, that face is different. It’s aged. And as I stared at her yesterday afternoon, all dolled up and nowhere to go, it dawned on me: My parents will never see this version of me. My mom will never get to see hands that look like hers. She’ll never recognize the wrinkles or the sun spots. My father-in-law joked about gray hair with my...

Keep Reading

The Due Date that Never Comes

In: Grief, Loss, Miscarriage

It is not often talked about. I completely understand why, but when going through something so heartbreaking and devastating, women shouldn’t have to suffer alone or in silence. If you’ve gone through it, you probably already know what I’m referring to – miscarriage. It is the reason many couples don’t tell people they are expecting until after the first trimester. It is so unfortunately common that one in four women will experience a miscarriage in their lifetime. According to the National Institutes of Health, 15-20 percent of pregnancies will end in miscarriage, and it is the most common pregnancy complication...

Keep Reading

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

In: Grief, Living

Black and white photo of older man in garden

I was never meant to be a plant person. I’m the woman who can kill a succulent on the way home from the store. Once, a fern sighed in my direction and gave up. That is my spiritual gift. My grandpa Dominic would have laughed—hard. He loved to laugh. And sing hymns passionately in Italian. He was an Italian immigrant who lost his arm working in a mill, and still, he woke up every morning and dressed like dignity itself. He shopped for my grandma. He fixed what was broken. And he tended the biggest, happiest garden you’ve ever seen....

Keep Reading

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

In: Grief

Woman with mother smiling in older photo

Recently, whenever I look in the mirror, I see a strong resemblance to my mother. People always said I looked like her, but I never really saw it until now. I think it may be because you always think of your parents as being older than you are. At the age of 61, I am now only two years away from the age my mother was when she died. The only good thing about dying young is that everyone will remember you that way. I have only known my mom as the vibrant, personable, and active woman she was. Well,...

Keep Reading

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

In: Grief, Loss, Motherhood

Editor’s note: This post discusses child loss Child loss changes Mother’s Day. My 19-month-old, Julia, died suddenly on Mother’s Day in 2024. Three months later, her autopsy revealed she had B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (B-ALL, also known as SUDNIC). Julia died a week after we did an embryo transfer at an IVF clinic in an attempt to have a second child. We found out three days after Julia’s death that the embryo did not make it either. Six months later, we did another embryo transfer that succeeded, and I now have an 8-month-old daughter, Lucy Mei (“Mei Mei” means “little...

Keep Reading

I Miss Having Parents

In: Grief

Grown daughter posing between smiling parents

I have been living with the ache of loss for so long that I truly don’t remember what it feels like not to carry it. Sometimes it rests quietly beneath my ribs, dormant and almost polite. Other times it rises without warning—on an ordinary Tuesday afternoon, in the middle of a coffee line—and cuts straight through me. Today, it was a song. I was waiting for my coffee when “Pictures of You” by The Cure drifted through the café speakers. I hadn’t heard it in 20 years. In my twenties, it meant heartbreak—young love unraveling, relationships ending before they were...

Keep Reading

What No One Tells You about Losing a Sibling

In: Grief

Nobody tells you that when you lose a sibling, your entire childhood flashes before your eyes. There’s no better witness to what you experienced growing up than that one person who was standing nearby for all of it. And when they’re gone, a part of that childhood and a part of that story goes with them, because it was only ever known between the two of you. There’s no last chance to say, “Remember when?” or to laugh about the things that made you laugh to tears together, a million times at the kitchen table. There’s no last conversation about...

Keep Reading

Grief Didn’t Break Me, It Rearranged Me

In: Grief

I survived losing my father after his long, grueling battle with cancer. It was one of the most difficult seasons of my life. I had a front row seat to watch cancer pick him apart piece by piece. When you lose a parent, you lose a part of yourself. They say time heals all wounds, but you never stop missing the good ones, and there are days when it feels like it just happened. By the grace of God, I survived, but I will always miss my father. Then, almost a decade later, I lost the career that helped me...

Keep Reading

I’m Learning To Be Soft and Strong

In: Grief

During the weeks we cared for my grandmother in hospice, survival mode felt necessary. There were medications to track. Visitors to update. Logistics to manage. I remember sitting on the couch that served as my makeshift bed and listening to the rhythmic hissing and puffing of the oxygen machine one night. While my mom showered off the day, I texted my sister updates and sent my husband a quick message of love. I could still smell the lavender candle we had lit earlier in the day to mask medical scents. The house was quiet, but my mind wasn’t. I was...

Keep Reading

To The Mother Who Feels Like She's Drowning

Kids

To The Mother Who Feels Like She's Drowning

When Your Teen Doesn't Want to be Hugged

Kids

I Am Sharing My Children With Another Woman

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Katie Weber

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

My Parents Will Never See This Face

The Due Date that Never Comes

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

I Miss Having Parents

What No One Tells You about Losing a Sibling

Grief Didn’t Break Me, It Rearranged Me

I’m Learning To Be Soft and Strong

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

I Am Sharing My Children With Another Woman

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

She Was the Glue That Held Our Family Together

My Parents Will Never See This Face

The Due Date that Never Comes

Repotting Myself: What My One‑Armed Grandpa Taught Me About Growing Anyway

When I Look In the Mirror, I See My Mother

I Lost My Daughter on Mother’s Day: 3 Truths I’m Believing Today

I Miss Having Parents

What No One Tells You about Losing a Sibling

Grief Didn’t Break Me, It Rearranged Me

I’m Learning To Be Soft and Strong

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like