I am writing you this letter today with the intent of being completely honest with you, to prepare you, and to help mold you.
I hope to teach you to love your body. I hope that I can engrain in you that you are beautiful because of your heart and not because of what size pants you wear. I hope that…scratch that…I pray that you never look outward for acceptance, but that you provide it for yourself from within.
I pray these things for you because I may not be the best example. I do not have these qualities. I am a work in progress, and I know that you may look to me for guidance in these areas. Rest assured sweetheart, I am fabulous at guiding others in this arena! Just please don’t read too much into my expressions when I am having a hard day loving myself.
Please learn from me. Learn that looks that are not everything. Learn that taking a break is okay. Learn that your body postpartum is a beautiful thing.
If you hear me complaining to your father about my weight, please don’t internalize it as something you should worry about. I’m working on not having those thoughts at all, but I’ve been having them for a very long time and it’s very hard to break old habits.
So instead of learning from the falls I may have, learn from the journey I am on. Start in a better place than I did. See beauty in everything and everyone, but first and foremost, see it in yourself.
One of Grandma and Grandpa’s friends gave them a plaque for me when I was born. It is something I have cherished all of my life. It simply says, “God danced the day you were born.” This surely will be true for you as well! And he dances every day that you accept yourself. Make it your goal to dance with Him every day!
I write this to you today knowing that you are in my future. Praying that you are in my future. I have dreamed of you all of my life. Your brother is an amazing gift to us! I can still want my little girl that will let me play with her hair and dance silly with me, a girl for her big brother to look out for. I want us to have what I have with my mother.
I pray you love me and learn lots from me, just like I have from my mother. But I pray that you love yourself, inside and out. God made you, and God doesn’t make mistakes!
Love you forever,