Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

I don’t believe in regret. It seems like a waste of energy to put time into considering the “if only” possibilities of the past. 

That being said, I have one intense regret. I regret joining an MLM business
I went into a multi level marketing business (MLM) much like Pollyanna. I was hopeful, excited and truly believed the hype.
After all, maybe I could be a #girlboss who worked from home and earned amazing trips and gifts for just a few hours a day. It was a logical decision because 1) I like the products and wanted a discount, 2) I saw it as an opportunity to find my #tribe and make some friends who were health-centric as I was, and 3) Just a few hours of work a day? I could commit to that. I was a stay at home mom with a part-time job. And the consultants assured me I could fit this into the nooks and crannies of my day.
The formula was so simple. Call 30 people or more a month and tell them about the opportunity. If you stick to that formula, inviting your friends and family to join you in this “amazing opportunity” or at least host a party for you, you would no doubt be reaching the top of the company and earning $20,000/month or more! The sky was the limit. 
Gah. I feel like such a fool. When I look back at it now it looks far to good to be true, but I needed to learn the hard way. I had a friend who did make it to the top, so I hung on to her coattails with white knuckles thinking, “If she could do it, so could I.” And she would tell me the same thing. 
I jumped in. They told me to jump “all in.” They said I could be driving around in my luxury car in a matter of months. “Don’t be afraid of the ‘no’s you’ll hear from your friends . . . because every no brings you closer to a yes!”
So many one-liners, so much gimmick . . . 
Network marketing is the business of the future. 
Grab five friends and lock arms! You’ll rise to the top together!
Residual income means you make money while you sleep. 
I followed the scripts they gave me. I stuck to the three filters: 1) first you offer the business, but if they say no, 2) you ask them to host a party, and 3) ask for referrals. 
And I spent thousands of dollars. Thousands. Because the quickest way to get promoted is based on volume and the only volume I could really control was my own.
“Shop from your own store!” they cheered. “You earn commission on your own purchases! You’ve got to spend money to make money and you are representing the brand now, so you should be showcasing the brand in your bathroom, your kitchen and in your purse.”
The saddest part of all is I didn’t make any friends from my new business. My tribe? They definitely weren’t these girls and this world of self-promotion. But but I did lose a few. One of my dearest friends said she felt like I sold her out for the opportunity to make money, and it still breaks my heart. My family felt pressured to buy from me, despite how ridiculously expensive the products were. And I burned a lot of bridges. 
I became that awful girl who started messaging friends I hadn’t spoken to in years to say “I have an amazing opportunity!” I became the cliche. 
I can’t get that time back. I can’t even get some of those friendships back. But I can share my experience. Because I did follow the formula. And it still didn’t work. 
The chances of making it to the top are similar to winning the lottery. But the chances of hurting your friends and family? 100 percent. 
Next time someone wants to share their “wonderful business opportunity” I encourage you to politely decline. You’ll save money, retain friendship, and chances are you can find equally good products on Amazon for half the price. 
And your tribe? They’re not here. I promise. I looked there already. 
You may also like:
So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Her View From Home

Millions of mothers connected by love, friendship, family and faith. Join our growing community. 1,000+ writers strong. We pay too!   Find more information on how you can become a writer on Her View From Home at https://herviewfromhome.com/contact-us/write-for-her//

Hello from the Other Side of 40

In: Living
Woman holding up 4 and 3 fingers on her hands

Facing 40 birthday candles? Let me tell you why your future is even brighter than those birthday cake flames, but first, I’ll also tell you—I get the big deal about turning 40. Facing that lofty milestone wasn’t fun for me. The dread started early when I was a young 37, and a sibling turned 40. I’m next! I realized, and I pouted and whined at the thought for the next three years. All of that bad behavior couldn’t keep me in my 30s though, and honestly, it left me a little embarrassed. Though this earthly tent is showing obvious signs...

Keep Reading

Having Kids Shows Who Your Real Friends Are

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Mother and child walking through forest, color photo

Any mom, typical or special needs, will tell you having kids is the fastest way to tell who your real friends are. When your child is born with special needs this process becomes even more severe and obvious. At first, people visit and want to hold the baby, but once the delays kick in slowly people start to pull away. Disability makes them uncomfortable. That’s the truth. They hope you won’t notice, but you do. Honestly, most stop trying altogether. It’s not just friends who act this way either, sometimes it’s family too. That hurts the most. As a parent...

Keep Reading

Why Doesn’t Anyone Talk about How Hard Adult Friendships Are?

In: Friendship, Living
Woman sitting along on couch looking at smartphone

The scary thing about friendship is it’s completely disposable. You actively choose to remain friends. It can dissolve at any time. No one can force you into it. In marriage, you are bound to one another before God. As a parent, you have a familial obligation to your child. But friendship? That comes completely free and clear. You intentionally let them in, let them see your underbelly. Your messy house. Your imperfect marriage. Your rebellious children. Your weirdness, your quirks, your sin. And they can walk away at any moment. Oh, there are a few exceptions. Maybe you work together....

Keep Reading

The Last Text I Sent Said “I Love You”

In: Friendship, Grief, Living
Soldier in dress uniform, color photo

I’ve been saying “I love you” a lot recently. Not because I have been swept off my feet. Rather, out of a deep appreciation for the people in my life. My children, their significant others, and friends near and far. I have been blessed to keep many faithful friendships, despite the transitions we all experience throughout our lives.  Those from childhood, reunited high school classmates, children of my parent’s friends (who became like family), and those I met at college, through work and shared activities. While physical distance has challenged many of these relationships, cell phones, and Facebook have made...

Keep Reading

Being a Hands-on Dad Matters

In: Kids, Living
Dad playing with little girl on floor

I am a hands-on dad. I take pride in spending time with my kids. Last week I took my toddler to the park. He’s two and has recently outgrown peek-a-boo, but nothing gets him laughing like him seeing me pop into the slide to scare him as he goes down. He grew to like this so much that he actually would not go down the slide unless he saw me in his range of vision going down. When it’s time to walk in the parking lot he knows to hold my hand, and he grabs my hand instinctively when he needs help...

Keep Reading

Finding My Confidence in Learning to Enjoy Exercise

In: Living
Woman at exercise class, color photo

This picture is of me, noticeably overweight, attending a silks class. This is something I’ve always wanted to do, but I looked noticeably out of place in my XL frame, compared with the other women in their size two Lululemon leggings. At one point, before we began, I actually quietly asked the instructor if there was a weight limit. She reassured me that people a lot heavier than me had hung from their ceiling on those silks. Before we started hanging from the ceiling, the instructor had us all sit in a circle and introduce ourselves and our goal for...

Keep Reading

Dear Mom, Until We Meet Again

In: Grown Children, Living
Daughter hugs elderly mother from behind outside

Mom, I pray to the stars that someday, somewhere we pick up where we left off. Before the Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Before your life, my life, and our family’s life changed forever. If we meet again, will you appear just as I remember you before this awful disease took over? With ebony black hair, vibrant blue eyes, and a gracious smile. Will you look at me and know I am your daughter? Will you refer to me by my beloved childhood nickname? RELATED: The One Thing Alzheimer’s Cannot Take Away Will you embrace me in a warm hug and tell me...

Keep Reading

Somewhere Between Wife and Mom, There Is a Woman

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman standing alone in field smiling

Sometimes, it’s hard to remember there is a woman behind the mom. At home, you feel caught between two worlds. Mom world and wife world. Sometimes it’s hard to balance both. We don’t exactly feel sexy in our leggings and messy mom bun. We don’t feel sexy at the end of the day when we are mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from being a mom all day. The truth is we want to feel like ourselves again. We just aren’t sure where we fit in anymore. RELATED: I Fear I’ve Lost Myself To Motherhood We know the kids only stay...

Keep Reading

Friendship Looks Different Now That Our Kids Are Older

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Two women and their teen daughters, color photo

When my kids were young and still in diapers, my friends and I used to meet up at Chick-fil-A for play dates. Our main goal was to maintain our sanity while our kids played in the play area. We’d discuss life, marriage, challenges, sleep deprivation, mom guilt, and potty-training woes. We frequently scheduled outings to prevent ourselves from going insane while staying at home. We’d take a stroll around the mall together, pushing our bulky strollers and carrying diaper bags. Our first stop was always the coffee shop where we’d order a latte (extra espresso shot) and set it in...

Keep Reading

The Only Fights I Regret Are the Ones We Never Had

In: Living, Marriage
Couple at the end of a hallway fighting

You packed up your things and left last night. There are details to work out and lawyers to call, but the first step in a new journey has started. I feel equal parts sad, angry, scared, and relieved. There’s nothing left to fix. There’s no reconciliation to pursue. And I’m left thinking about the fights we never had. I came down the stairs today and adjusted the thermostat to a comfortable temperature for me. It’s a fight I didn’t consider worth having before even though I was the one living in the home 24 hours a day while you were...

Keep Reading