A Gift for Mom! 🤍

I don’t believe in regret. It seems like a waste of energy to put time into considering the “if only” possibilities of the past. 

That being said, I have one intense regret. I regret joining an MLM business
 
I went into a multi level marketing business (MLM) much like Pollyanna. I was hopeful, excited and truly believed the hype.
 
After all, maybe I could be a #girlboss who worked from home and earned amazing trips and gifts for just a few hours a day. It was a logical decision because 1) I like the products and wanted a discount, 2) I saw it as an opportunity to find my #tribe and make some friends who were health-centric as I was, and 3) Just a few hours of work a day? I could commit to that. I was a stay at home mom with a part-time job. And the consultants assured me I could fit this into the nooks and crannies of my day.
 
The formula was so simple. Call 30 people or more a month and tell them about the opportunity. If you stick to that formula, inviting your friends and family to join you in this “amazing opportunity” or at least host a party for you, you would no doubt be reaching the top of the company and earning $20,000/month or more! The sky was the limit. 
 
Gah. I feel like such a fool. When I look back at it now it looks far to good to be true, but I needed to learn the hard way. I had a friend who did make it to the top, so I hung on to her coattails with white knuckles thinking, “If she could do it, so could I.” And she would tell me the same thing. 
 
I jumped in. They told me to jump “all in.” They said I could be driving around in my luxury car in a matter of months. “Don’t be afraid of the ‘no’s you’ll hear from your friends . . . because every no brings you closer to a yes!”
 
So many one-liners, so much gimmick . . . 
Network marketing is the business of the future. 
Grab five friends and lock arms! You’ll rise to the top together!
Residual income means you make money while you sleep. 
 
I followed the scripts they gave me. I stuck to the three filters: 1) first you offer the business, but if they say no, 2) you ask them to host a party, and 3) ask for referrals. 
 
And I spent thousands of dollars. Thousands. Because the quickest way to get promoted is based on volume and the only volume I could really control was my own.
 
“Shop from your own store!” they cheered. “You earn commission on your own purchases! You’ve got to spend money to make money and you are representing the brand now, so you should be showcasing the brand in your bathroom, your kitchen and in your purse.”
 
The saddest part of all is I didn’t make any friends from my new business. My tribe? They definitely weren’t these girls and this world of self-promotion. But but I did lose a few. One of my dearest friends said she felt like I sold her out for the opportunity to make money, and it still breaks my heart. My family felt pressured to buy from me, despite how ridiculously expensive the products were. And I burned a lot of bridges. 
 
I became that awful girl who started messaging friends I hadn’t spoken to in years to say “I have an amazing opportunity!” I became the cliche. 
 
I can’t get that time back. I can’t even get some of those friendships back. But I can share my experience. Because I did follow the formula. And it still didn’t work. 
 
The chances of making it to the top are similar to winning the lottery. But the chances of hurting your friends and family? 100 percent. 
 
Next time someone wants to share their “wonderful business opportunity” I encourage you to politely decline. You’ll save money, retain friendship, and chances are you can find equally good products on Amazon for half the price. 
 
And your tribe? They’re not here. I promise. I looked there already. 
 
You may also like:
 
 
 
So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Her View From Home

Millions of mothers connected by love, friendship, family and faith. Join our growing community. 1,000+ writers strong. We pay too!   Find more information on how you can become a writer on Her View From Home at https://herviewfromhome.com/contact-us/write-for-her//

These Simple Summers Will Live In My Heart Forever

In: Living
Kids playing in water in yard

There’s something I love about summers with the kids, more than any other time of the year. It’s not my favorite season, not even close. But I will always look back on the summers spent with our kids as some of the most beautiful, joyful, yet simple memories of our life together. And that’s just it—it’s the simplicity of summer that makes it so magical. It’s the weightlessness of “nowhere to be,” and the way the kids settle into a routine that’s not a routine at all. I love watching them run through the yard, popsicle in hand, red strawberry...

Keep Reading

We’re Trusting God through Unemployment

In: Living
Family posing by wooden wall

The calendar tells me that almost three months ago today, my husband and I resigned from our joint position as house parents in a residential foster care ministry. Three months of no income. Three months of moving to a new state, navigating new doctors, two brand new schools for our daughters, and a smaller living space. Three months of looking at each other and knowing how hard it is to wait for a paycheck. One day, I dared to check the bank account, and my body quivered when I saw the balance. We had savings, but I am pretty sure...

Keep Reading

Some Friendships Are Not Meant To Last Forever

In: Friendship
Landscape photo

I remember hearing as a child that not all friendships last forever. Back then, I didn’t believe it. Not my friendships. We had grown up together—through elementary school, through high school. We were inseparable. Plans were made around each other, and life felt like it would always look that way. But life has a way of changing things. I became a young mom, trying to figure out who I was while also learning how to be everything my children needed. At the same time, I was still holding tightly to the friendships that had been part of my life for...

Keep Reading

My Sister-In-Law Is the Sister I Always Wanted

In: Living
Two women friends smiling

There’s a very specific kind of longing that sometimes comes with growing up without a sister. Yes, I had half-siblings on my dad’s side, but they were older and out there living their adult lives. My brother and I were always very close despite the age difference. He was the cool, funny, rockstar big brother who was (and always will be) a big kid at heart, and I was incredibly grateful for that. But still, there was always this quiet, persistent longing for something else: a sister. Someone who would be mine in that way only sisters understand. You know,...

Keep Reading

The Life I Love Was Built From the Life That Broke Me

In: Living, Marriage
Family of four

In my early- to mid-twenties, everything felt like it was unraveling. I was depressed, uninspired, dealing with health issues I didn’t fully understand, and carrying the weight of past trauma I didn’t yet have the language for. At the same time, I was wading through a dating pool that felt more like I was unintentionally starring in an episode of Punk’d, all while still carrying the scars of a serious relationship that ended in betrayal—cheating that didn’t just break my heart, but shattered my sense of trust in a way I wasn’t prepared for. For a while, I stayed there....

Keep Reading

My Mom Was Just 13 When I Was Born. Now That I’m a Mother, I See Her Differently.

In: Living
Young girl and teenage mother

There are only 13 years and 11 months between us. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been—how lonely it must have felt at times. A childhood cut short, replaced with responsibilities that were night and day. Confusion and love, all wrapped into one. Growing up, it felt like I had a big sister beside me. A friend I loved with everything in me. But she wasn’t just a friend. She was my mother. I relied on her for guidance, for reassurance, for someone to look up to. And now I find myself wondering, how could she give me...

Keep Reading

Why Don’t We Talk About Jonah’s Mother?

In: Faith, Living, Motherhood
Woman standing over water

Praying for My Son Send a storm to stop him; Let his friends throw him out. May he drop to the deeps, But gently, please, Stubborn though he may be. If it could only take three days, How my mother’s heart would Rejoice in praise.  From the hell you allow him, Let him cry to you. Is not Nineveh and mercy Exactly what he knows He needs— A mercy on enemies He fears You will concede? Please let all the shade wither If his is an angry soul; Humble him and help him follow Where you would have his purpose...

Keep Reading

I Never Got to Meet My Grandmother on This Side of Heaven

In: Living
Old black and white family photo

Grandmother, I never met you this side of Heaven, but I feel as though I have. Your pictures, scattered throughout my mother’s home, tell your story. Born to a woman who came to this country alone when she was just 16, you would be the youngest of four, with two sisters and a brother. Your short, dark, straight hair clings to your little face, a line of bangs neatly combed high on your forehead. You couldn’t be more than three years old as you sit on a stool at your sister’s First Holy Communion. The black and white photo makes...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman in driver's seat

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

My Dad Gave Us Something Money Never Could

In: Living
Family smiling in posed photo

I was talking with my dad the other day about an upcoming Disney trip with our kids. I told him all we planned to do while we were there and how excited the kids were. He sat and listened, taking it all in. And then he said something that put a lump in my throat. “I’m so glad you’re able to give your kids the life that I couldn’t.” He went on to say he still carries some guilt–that he wishes he could have done more, taken us on trips, given us experiences he couldn’t. Hearing that broke my heart....

Keep Reading