I Didn’t Know Motherhood Would Break Me

Did you expect motherhood to look like this?

The truth is, neither did I.

I prepared myself the best I could. I read the books, the blogs, and the magazines.
I knew there would be good days and bad days and everything in between . . . but I didn’t know the bad days would be like this.

I didn’t know the bad days would make me feel and look like this. 

So defeated.
So tired.
So ready to check out.

A day where taking a moment to pee completely and totally set someone into a rage.

A day where nothing could satisfy a cranky baby.

A day where my 2-year-old had a grip on my hair for eight hours straight. Trying to soothe whatever bad mood he woke up in.

A day I didn’t eat. Didn’t drink. And held my bladder beyond any recommended limit.

A day I broke.

I didn’t expect these days to break me.

I didn’t expect these hard days to be so . . . hard.

I didn’t expect it.
I know you didn’t expect it either.

We expect it to be pretty and fulfilling and put together.
We expect to feel grateful, always.

It’s not always like that, my friend. It’s not always like that and it’s OK.

You don’t love motherhood every second of every day?
It’s OK.

You wish for days to be over?
It’s OK.

Want permission to hang your head and cry?
It’s OK.

Sometimes motherhood is hella hard.
Sometimes we’re only human.
Sometimes the hard can make us look like THIS.

We don’t love them any less and we would never trade them for anything more.

But it’s OK to acknowledge the hard.

Please, do yourself a favour and acknowledge the hard.

Mama, if you look like this, if you feel like this . . . it’s because some days it’s hard and it’s OK.

This article originally appeared on Grown Up Glamour by Anneliese Lawton

 

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God is in the Midst of Messy Motherhood

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