I didn’t marry the man of my dreams. 

The man of my dreams would craft home-cooked meals, complete with wine pairing, flowers, and candles.

The man of my dreams would hold my hand when walking through town.

The man of my dreams would massage my feet after a long day.

The man of my dreams would watch romantic movies with me.

The man of my dreams would bring me breakfast in bed.

And, if I’m being completely honest, the man of my dreams would look a bit like a Hemsworth brother. I’ll let you guess which one.

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My husband, however, doesn’t cook much. He doesn’t like public displays of affection. As a general policy, he dislikes massages. My husband prefers watching action, comedy, or thriller movies. He’s not big on breakfast.

And no, he doesn’t look like Thor.

No, I didn’t marry the man of my dreams. Instead, I married the man I didn’t even know I needed.

I married a man who talks through each misunderstanding with me. We have arguments like any couple who has lived together for almost two decades. We work through them because my husband chooses to keep communicating even when I am at my worst. 

I married a man who surprises me with flowers for no reason. It’s a little thing he does to show he cares. I love flowers. If I’m feeling down, he knows a colorful bouquet will brighten my day. 

I married a man who would support me when I went into private practice. His encouragement gave me the courage to be my own boss. When I was fearful, he believed in me.

I married a man who would support me when I started writing. His encouragement provided the opportunity to follow my heart.

He gave me the space and time I needed to pursue my dream.

I married a man who encourages me to take a night or two away while he manages the kids and our home. He sees himself as an equal partner. My husband recognizes I deserve a break and my own time to grow.

I married a man who says I love you every night in bed. I never wonder about his commitment to our relationship. While he may not be overly affectionate, he shows his love in so many other ways.

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I married a man who looks for ways to connect with our children. I never worry about his commitment to our family. He volunteers his time to coach their teams. He includes them in activities and takes them on outings alone. He makes our kids a priority.

I look forward to walking up with him each morning. My life is better with him in it.

What we think we want and what we truly need may not be the same.

I didn’t marry the perfect man, instead, I married the man who was perfect for me. 

Jill Robinson

Jill Robinson is a wife, mother of two, athlete, speech-language pathologist, and lover of all animals. She loves the outdoors and singing off-key in the car. Writing brings her peace. You can follow Jill at https://firstdraftdotblog.wordpress.com on Instagram @firstdraftdotblog and Twitter at @jarchicago13