I get asked often how many kids I have.
The answer used to always be the same: just one.
Then about half the time, the question that followed was always if I wanted more.
The answer was always the same: no.
Then I heard one of the following from the other person: “It is OK to only have one.” “Won’t your child miss having siblings?” “Are you sure?”
Or . . . there was a long period of silence.
Let me tell you how this used to make me feel . . .
That having one child isn’t enough.
That I am wrong for only having one child. That I have to say something to prove to you I am OK with this.
I have done a lot of inner work to clear these feelings. I have accepted my choice to have one child. I have dropped the “just” so instead of saying I just have one child, I now say I have one child.
Because every time I said “just” one, I was saying that my one child isn’t enough. And this is not the truth.
Me choosing to have one child does not make me a mom who can’t handle more children.
Me choosing to have one child does not mean I don’t love being a mother.
Me choosing to have one child does not mean I don’t love my child.
Me choosing to have one child doesn’t mean I don’t feel sad he won’t have siblings.
Me choosing to have one child means it is the truest and most beautiful choice for me, for my husband, for my son, and for our family.
This is a choice I don’t need others to approve or accept or understand.
I don’t need to say I just have one child. I get to say I have one child and feel good in my heart.