I get asked often how many kids I have.

The answer used to always be the same: just one.

Then about half the time, the question that followed was always if I wanted more.

The answer was always the same: no.

Then I heard one of the following from the other person: “It is OK to only have one.” “Won’t your child miss having siblings?” “Are you sure?”

Or . . . there was a long period of silence.

RELATED: Yes, I only want one child. Why does my choice offend you?

Let me tell you how this used to make me feel . . .

That having one child isn’t enough.

That I am wrong for only having one child. That I have to say something to prove to you I am OK with this.

I have done a lot of inner work to clear these feelings. I have accepted my choice to have one child. I have dropped the “just” so instead of saying I just have one child, I now say I have one child.

Because every time I said “just” one, I was saying that my one child isn’t enough. And this is not the truth.

Me choosing to have one child does not make me a mom who can’t handle more children.

Me choosing to have one child does not mean I don’t love being a mother.

Me choosing to have one child does not mean I don’t love my child. 

RELATED: I’m a Mom Who Was Only Meant For One

Me choosing to have one child doesn’t mean I don’t feel sad he won’t have siblings.

Me choosing to have one child means it is the truest and most beautiful choice for me, for my husband, for my son, and for our family.

This is a choice I don’t need others to approve or accept or understand.

I don’t need to say I just have one child. I get to say I have one child and feel good in my heart.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

You should also check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Kelley Friedland

Kelley embraces her motherhood journey through writing. She started writing when her son was born because he would sleep on her all the time and writing was quiet and didn't wake him but let her express all she was feeling. She is passionate about the sharing that happens from writing and reading the words of others. Kelley lives in Nevada with her husband, son, and dog Huey.

Is Having An Only Child Such a Sin?

In: Kids
Is Having An Only Child Such a Sin? www.herviewfromhome.com

When people ask me how many kids I have, I always say “just” one. I reflect further to think why I used the word “just” when I did not really need to. The change in people’s expressions when I say that I have “just” one kid is so unique and equally unforgettable. I am not sure if I am able to read clearly what their faces say. I find myself peeping into the minds of other parents who have more than one kid and wonder if they are thinking how much easier my life is, how much less I have...

Keep Reading

There’s Nothing Wrong With Being One and Done

In: Motherhood
Family of three

I sat in the waiting room at my husband’s doctor’s office. I was a bundle of nerves. I tried keeping myself occupied by scrolling through Facebook on my phone, and when that didn’t help, I buried my head in an issue of Vogue. After what felt like hours, my husband walked out the door and looked at me. He had successfully completed his vasectomy operation. “That’s it,” I thought to myself. “We are officially done having children.” When I was younger, I wasn’t even sure if I’d end up having one kid. When people asked how I felt about having...

Keep Reading

You See an Only Child—I See an Answered Prayer

In: Loss, Motherhood
Mother kissing son

We were on our very first walk around the neighborhood when I was first asked the question that would follow me around forever. Our newborn son was barely a week old, and we decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather that day. We were only going around the block, and I remember loading up the bottom of the stroller with diapers and supplies just in case. The overpacked stroller gave me away as a brand-new mom, I am sure of that. She crossed the street toward us hoping to get a glimpse of the new baby in the neighborhood....

Keep Reading