Yup, you read that right. I missed her first-ever T-ball game. And you know what? I refuse to let myself feel guilty about it because that doesn’t make me a bad mom.
Before we signed her up for the team, I had planned to attend a ladies retreat. When the retreat was canceled (ugh . . . COVID), a small group of us decided to still go out of town for a mommy vacation.
I had it all planned—our hotel reservation, escape room experience, comedy club show—we were going to have a great time.
And then, we got her T-ball schedule. Her first game was that weekend.
I thought for a brief second about backing out of our mommy away time. But you know what? I really didn’t want to.
Does that make me selfish or self-centered? Maybe you see it that way.
Or does it make me human? A busy mom in desperate need of a break and time with her friends.
As luck would have it, the next song I heard on the radio was about a bonus dad who never missed a ballgame. I found myself thinking, oh, great, I’ll never be able to say that. I’m missing the first one, so my record is forever ruined.
It’s a nice song, but I change the station every time it comes on.
Because I refuse to let myself feel guilty.
Look, I am the queen of mommy guilt. If mom guilt was an Olympic sport, you would see my face on a box of Wheaties, and I’d be making bank on commercials. Really. I have made myself feel guilty and small about some really dumb things.
In the grand scheme of things, she’s four. It’s T-ball. There will be other opportunities.
If you think I’m a bad mom for missing her first game, you really won’t like me now—I’m going to miss about half of the remaining games. Yup, half.
It just so happens her games twice a week are at the exact times of an indoor cycling class I teach at our local YMCA. Yes, the exact time.
My class is one of the highlights of my week. Exercise is one of the things I do for me—to help me be a better wife and mother. And besides all that, the teaching income is factored into our monthly budget. In a very small way, it helps to provide financially for our family.
I was able to find a friend to cover one of my classes, but I didn’t ask her about the second.
Why? Again, because I didn’t want to.
There are going to be experiences and firsts that I miss. That’s just life.
In a perfect world, would I choose to have scheduling conflicts and miss her games? Of course not!
There are a lot of things I wish I could do or handle differently. I’m not a perfect parent. But I try my best every single day, even when I don’t feel like it or want to. There isn’t a day that passes I don’t cover my daughter in words of affirmation and as many hugs as she’ll tolerate.
I missed her first T-ball game, but her daddy and sister were there, and many others who love her fiercely.
I missed her first T-ball game, but I cuddle, play, clothe, bathe, teach, read, feed, and kiss.
I missed her first T-ball game, but she knows how much I love her and how proud I am of her.
I missed her first t-ball game, but I’m still a good mom.