Faith Living

I Was a Really Good Liar, But I Finally Got Caught

I Was a Really Good Liar, But I Finally Got Caught www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Jodie Utter

The following is a mere sampling of my best work as an accomplished liar:

I’m just gonna have one more.
This will last forever.
This will not last.
This doesn’t count.
I can’t.
I should.
I shouldn’t.
I need that.
This doesn’t matter.
I don’t know what to do.
I have to finish this because I started it.
This will make them like me.
I’m not worthy.
I owe them.
I don’t have a choice.
I can’t tell anyone.
I’m not good enough.
Nobody will understand.
That will never happen to me.
No one cares.
I won’t survive this.
It’s about me.
I don’t fit in.
I’m in control of this.
I can’t change.
I need to change.
What they think matters.
I don’t belong.
I won’t be able to make a difference.
I’m the only one.

That was not even close to an exhaustive list.

And, wow, I am such a liar. And a really good one apparently, because I’ve truly believed a good number of those lies. And the not-so-believable lies, they at least tripped me up and gave me pause.

I’ve told the differing lies to myself at times based on my circumstances, my age, my maturity level, my ability to face the hard in life at the time it presented itself and the rate at which wisdom and truth have seeped into me over the years.

The older I grow, the more maturity I acquire, the more pain I muddle through, the grittier I get and the wiser become; the more readily I recognize the lies I’ve told for what they are, as well as the truth that sets me free of them.

My truth is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves me exactly as I am.

My truth is I am both enough and not enough at the same time. God designed me that way on purpose so I’ll recognize His great love for me and my great need for Him at the same time. He’s not finished with me yet and needs me to pay attention.

My truth is I belong here but only for a short time, as this world is not my permanent home.

My truth is I’m going to suffer while I’m here, but the same God that created me can use everything that happens to me for good, according to His purpose. And so there’s joy for me here too.

My truth is I can do all things through my God who strengthens me.

The truth is love is the way, the truth, and the light and it’s never not going to be.

The truth is I am loved and I love; how I was, how I am and how I will be.

The truth is I don’t need to earn that love, as true love will be given to me freely.

Nothing on this earth is going to change any of the above. No lie. No darkness. No doubt. No misdeed. No sin. No hurt. No mistake. No pain. Nothing.

And that’s the truth that sets me free from all the lies. 

The truth is love is the way, the truth, and the light and it's never not going to be.

About the author

Jodie Utter

Jodie Utter is a freelance writer & creator of the blog, Utter Imperfection. Her work has been featured regularly here on Her View From Home and also on Perfection Pending, That’s Inappropriate, Scary Mommy, Blunt Moms, Sammiches & Psych Meds, Grown & Flown and more.

She calls the Pacific Northwest home and ambles about its captivating forests and breath-taking (quite literally, because brrrrrrr) bodies of water with her husband and two kids.

Jodie is a Jill-of-all-trades by day, her favorite of which is writing. By night she’s a voracious reader, film connoisseur, seeker of laughter, dancer (as long as no one is watching, you should be picturing Elaine on Seinfeld here) and board game player.

Give her a heart-wrenching, tear-tugging story to connect with others in via either the reading or the writing of; especially the true kind, and you’ll give her the world. Jodie works to connect pain to pain and struggle to struggle so we’ll all feel less alone inside our stories and more at home in our hearts, minds, and relationships. You can connect with her on her blog, Utter Imperfection, and on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter.