This is the most I have ever weighed in my life. The number when I step on a scale is a little higher than when I was 40-weeks pregnant.

So many feelings come over me whenever I see myself in pictures. I find my eyes going straight for the lumpy, dimpled skin that can be seen on my body. I’m able to see them on my stomach. I’m able to see it on my hips. I’m able to see the lumpy, dimpled skin on my thighs. The list goes on and on.

There have been periods of time when I would avoid being in front of a camera, altogether. There’s always been a complicated relationship with my body.

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This body has been through a lot, and it’s the only one I’ll ever get. I don’t want to spend the time I have in my body hating it. I want to love it and that can be done in so many ways.

Showing love to my body won’t always make sense to someone else. My journey with this body doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else. No one who has walked this earth has spent as much time with this body as me. I will always be the one who will hold that record.

I know the experiences my body has gone through. This may be the most I have ever weighed in my life, but this is also the healthiest I’ve ever been as a whole. I’ve been afraid to post a picture like this because people will always have their opinions.

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Our skin is important but it’s not the most meaningful thing about us—our hearts are. I’m learning how to love this body better and become more comfortable in my skin.

Let’s not spend the time we have hating our skin. Let’s not spend the time we have hating each other’s skin. The journey you have with your body doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else but you. The most beautiful thing about you is simply you.

Originally published on the author’s Instagram page